What If? (1 Viewer)

[Davriel]

Recently got over a horrible hangover, so my thoughts are a little incoherent. However, during my hangover I began to wonder why was I having the hangover (the immediate reason being that I drank heavily eluded me) and I decided it had to be God's fault (or some other extra-planar being). Then I thought, what if god could speak to me, what would he say? So I've started a thread, and the question is, if could could talk to humanity, what would he say (and if you answer this thread, I'm fairly agnostic, so feel free to have some fun with creativity). I have looked up some other various 'God Quotes' so yes, I did plagiarise.

"What part of Thou Shalt Not don't you understand?" - God

"I had to answer the phone, what'd I miss...SHIT!" - God

"Have you read my #1 bestseller, there will be a test." - God

"Don't make me come down there..." - God

"You think it's hot here?" - God

"Have you seen my son? I sent him to get some milk not long ago?" - God

 

[stazi]

'sup Mr Mitchell?

 

[Davriel]

Oooo...so you know my identity...There is nothing on the net that I'm ashamed of, well, at least not yet. I am curious though, how did you figure it out? Do you already know me? Or perhaps someone told you? Or most bloody likely you looked me up on myspace. Actually, I'm kinda flattered you pay me that much attention. By the way, I don't know who you are, so don't expect me to use your real name.

 

[stazi]

Nah, I'm a l33t hacker. I don't think your myspace says your name.
and i know you wouldn't care about people knowing your identity. your psychologist said that it's best to confront your problems a while ago.

 

[Davriel]

It's true, she did, interestingly I never followed her advice and in truth never dealt with my problems. Got nothing to hide. And a hacker...well, I am very impressed. (Bows in respect, though still annoyed with spelling).

 

[stazi]

im actually not a hacker. at all. and my spelling and grammar are near-perfect in real life. stylistically, i vary it between internet forums to reflect my persona.

 

[Davriel]

Then tell me how you know? That alone earns my respect, since I don't think I've ever mentioned who I am and you knew.

 

[stazi]

I would be more intrigued by how I knew that you had a psychologist and more specifically, how I knew what she told you.

 

[Davriel]

I'm not surprised by that. Since I've never made any secret of my...shall we call it mental limitations, I'm not surprised you know of it. Actually, the education system knows of it, since it was direct result of my schooling life that drove me to attempt to kill myself. I failed mainly due to the advice of someone who cared about me more than I did, but I never hid the fact. Besides, holding myself back and not facing my problems is fun...gives me an excuse to bitch about something.

 

[stazi]

You are a highly predictable person, which is how I concluded that you were in therapy. Your profile states that you were bullied, which many people are unwilling to admit openly (such as myself), which would be a direct result of your sessions with your psychologist.

Your name was ascertained through the use of the word documents you put up on boredofstudies. I merely had to check the publisher to find out. I was, indeed, looking for a name so that I could hopefully find your myspace to xxxpose your photo, alas, it was too common and when used with Davriel, as you confirm, it shows no matches.

 

[stazi]

lawlz i was both a bully and being bullied.

 

[Davriel]

Wow. You did all that just to expose me for the blonde, tanned guy I am? Okay, since you can't get a photo, I've got ash-blonde hair which is fairly long, needs to be cut. I've got a tan, i'm 170cm tall, I've got no facial hair (I shave, though a goatee is not undreamed of), I'm single, I've got ice-blue eyes and I wear silver-framed glasses. Oh, and wait five years and my name and the name Davriel will be synonomous. Trust me on that.

 

[stazi]

Wow. You did all that just to expose me for the blonde, tanned guy I am? Okay, since you can't get a photo, I've got ash-blonde hair which is fairly long, needs to be cut. I've got a tan, i'm 170cm tall, I've got no facial hair (I shave, though a goatee is not undreamed of), I'm single, I've got ice-blue eyes and I wear silver-framed glasses. Oh, and wait five years and my name and the name Davriel will be synonomous. Trust me on that.

If you're average-looking, then why did you get bullied? Bullying is more based on looks in high school as far as I know. Unless you're into dungeons and dragons.

 

[Davriel]

Yr an e-paedophile whose internet handle becomes notorious for being behind several child abductions. The fame comes when yr arrested by the FBI and yr ash-blonde mug becomes plastered across all major syndicated worldwide news networks.

Awsm.

Hmmm...I probably should apologise for my drunken outburst to appease you. Oh, and about me being a pedo? Not very likely, I can't stand kids (and I want to be a teacher?)

 

[Davriel]

If you're average-looking, then why did you get bullied? Bullying is more based on looks in high school as far as I know. Unless you're into dungeons and dragons.

Well...I am into D&D, but not a huge fan, and I only play it about four times a year. However, I was hated because I didn't fit in. I was too smart for the usual crowd of jocks, and not smart enough to be in the elite nerds club. This is not to say I don't have friends, got them in abundance. No, most likely I was bullied because I'm a know-it-all twerp who has no respect for anything other than knowledge.

 

[Davriel]

Dude. He's 5 foot 6. He would've been tiny in HS.

Note, 170cm in Year 9, haven't had my height measured since, don't think I've grown too much.