Manners in today's society (1 Viewer)

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Hello,

I'm from the Insight program on SBS Television and we're interested in talking about MANNERS for an upcoming episode.

I'm interested to hear what young people think about this topic.

Do good manners still matter these days?
Have we lost the art of good etiquette?
Are manners the mark of a civilised society or just a stuffy set of outdated rules?
Do/should manners be a feature of the workplace? Our relationships? Our home lives?
Are manners a generational issue?

I'd love to hear your thoughts. You can post a response here or email me at kate.mayhew@sbs.com.au.

Yours in good manners,
Kate Mayhew
 

A High Way Man

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Hi Kate,

How'd you get your job?

Regards,
A High Way Man

edit: there will probably be people posting real answers soon dw.
 
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jb_nc

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can i get in the audience and be the token racist who blames multiculturalism for a decline in manners
 

Stevo.

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Fuck yeah! I love Insight! Pretentious wanking session for everyone!
 

A High Way Man

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Do good manners still matter these days? Yes
Have we lost the art of good etiquette? No, just less inclined to use it
Are manners the mark of a civilised society or just a stuffy set of outdated rules? First one imo
Do/should manners be a feature of the workplace? Our relationships? Our home lives? Depends a lot on context
Are manners a generational issue? No
 
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Perhaps it's a case of what is regarded as 'good manners' changing as opposed to manners themselves becoming outdated or ignored.

Of course manners should be a part of the workplace/relationships/home lives, it's not like it requires an inordinate amount of effort to be polite.
 

kuroneko

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[Do good manners still matter these days?] -Of course they do. Just because times change doesn't mean that people don't expect a basic level of dignity and/or courtesy. [Have we lost the art of good etiquette?] -Nope. But some don't hold others' expectations in high regard. [Are manners the mark of a civilised society or just a stuffy set of outdated rules?] -The mark of not neccesarily a civilised society, but a loving one. If people care about others they'll *take* care of them. [Do/should manners be a feature of the workplace? Our relationships? Our home lives?] -Of course. Why shouldn't they? [Are manners a generational issue?] -Not really. It's more the individual, in a lot of instances the whole generation is blamed. People need to stop generalising, and maybe then everyone would be more polite.
 

incentivation

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Manners, etiquette and respect have long been on a downward spiral. It reflects the progression to a society focused upon self-interest and self-advancement with little, if any, regard for others.

Whilst table manners or similar might be perceived to be of a more trivial nature, I tend to think that a decline in these types of disciplines has permeated into other aspects of our lives. I look at how people interact in a variety of social situations, including shopping etc, and the expectation these days is on the 'me; right here, right now'.

Although the notion that one's own interests are more important than another person's is not directly attributable to manners, it reflects societal values and causal link between values and an individuals attitudes.
 

fantabulous

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ppl r so fucking rude these days, it makes me sik. ppl need to be educated agaibn on this.
 

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Do good manners still matter these days?
Yes. In my opinion manners are about respecting other people. Respect is a two way street, though; you can't earn it unless you also give it. That's why manners matter because they're an important way of showing that respect.

Have we lost the art of good etiquette?
If by good etiquette you mean that finishing school, which-fork-do-i-use bullshit, then probably. If you mean etiquette as in walking on the left hand side of a footpath, giving up seats to pregnant women and such, then no, but it's probably on a bit of a decline. people don't want to do things that inconvenience them. i'd say as a society overall we have become more selfish.

Are manners the mark of a civilised society or just a stuffy set of outdated rules?
I wouldn't say they are the mark of a 'civilised' society because it depends what you mean by that. there are rules of etiquette and conduct even in the most primitive tribes, so I don't think its fair to say that you can distinguish a civilised society from an uncivilised one on manners alone.

Do/should manners be a feature of the workplace? Our relationships? Our home lives?
Yes. In personal relationships the people involved would have their own individual notions about what is acceptable, though.

Are manners a generational issue?
This is a stupid lie cooked up by whinging old people. People have always been rude and always will be, it's not like one generation was perfect and well mannered and genteel and then their children turned around and trashed the place or anything. It's just that the 'rules' change over time. My grandma would never have dreamt of calling anyone new by anything other than "Mr/Ms So-and-So." Nowadays that's not so big a deal, but it doesn't mean manners have fallen by the wayside, it means theres a new definition of what's acceptable, is all.
 

Stevo.

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fantabulous said:
ppl r so fucking rude these days, it makes me sik. ppl need to be educated agaibn on this.
Ironic, considering you sound just like the people you hate.
 

ccc123

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fantabulous said:
ppl r so fucking rude these days, it makes me sik. ppl need to be educated agaibn on this.
Supreme irony indeed, since your spelling skills (or lack thereof) indicate you are uneducated, and your swearing indicates you are rude.

Do good manners still matter these days? Yes, I think good manners are still valued by all generations.

Have we lost the art of good etiquette? I don't think we've so much lost the art of etiquette, but rather, perceptions of what constituates etiquitte have chnaged. This, consequently, results in the older generation misconstuing this change and interpreting new age etiquitte rules as rudeness.

Are manners the mark of a civilised society or just a stuffy set of outdated rules?I think manners are something even more fundamenal then that. Something that transcends notions of civilised and non-civilised, and comes down to having a modicum of respect for fellow human beings, whether your in the Western world, or primative culture.

Do/should manners be a feature of the workplace? Our relationships? Our home lives?Yes. Obviosuly though, there is no blanket rule for what's considered acceptable in individual relationships.

Are manners a generational issue? This is a misconception held by the older generations. The fact is though, that in retrospect, its easy for older people to look back upon their years nostagically and say 'things were better than.' But there always was and always will be rude people, its just that Today Tonight publicizes them nowdays :)
 
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katie_tully

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That is such an awesome response in a thread about manners. I commend you, Mr. Thai

Do good manners still matter these days?: Of course they do, why wouldn't they? They still apply when you go for a job interview, at your place of work, at your place of study, etc.
Have we lost the art of good etiquette?: Why is this being asked? Because some kid with an over inflated ego destroyed the publics faith in teenagers in one foul swoop? I don't think we have, I think that the antics of those who 'rebel' against traditional manners or 'etiquette' are being advertised more than the countless examples of people who show exemplary manners. People behaving and showing respect isn't a headline grabber, nobody cares when you do the right thing. You can't complain about good manners, and we're a society of whingers.
Are manners the mark of a civilised society or just a stuffy set of outdated rules?: Same question gets asked every generation. It was asked of our parents generation. It was asked of our grandparents. The only difference now is that technology has allowed word to get out, it magnifies the situation and makes it look as though we're living in a world of impending anarchy.
Do/should manners be a feature of the workplace? Our relationships? Our home lives?: They are? I work for NSW Health, I'm not going to last long if I start to disregard manners. Relationships don't last long without manners and respect, and if they thrive on disrespect it's an unhealthy relationship.
Are manners a generational issue?: Hasn't this question been asked?
 

Slidey

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SBS Television said:
Hello,

I'm from the Insight program on SBS Television and we're interested in talking about MANNERS for an upcoming episode.

I'm interested to hear what young people think about this topic.

Do good manners still matter these days?
Have we lost the art of good etiquette?
Are manners the mark of a civilised society or just a stuffy set of outdated rules?
Do/should manners be a feature of the workplace? Our relationships? Our home lives?
Are manners a generational issue?

I'd love to hear your thoughts. You can post a response here or email me at kate.mayhew@sbs.com.au.

Yours in good manners,
Kate Mayhew
Do good manners still matter these days?
Yes, but they're not as important as good humour. Good manners are most important for first impressions, especially those of a professional nature.

Have we lost the art of good etiquette?
No, but we may not have a very high appreciation for it. Then again, has Australian culture ever? When people talk about manners, are they talking about being respectful and helpful, or some forced archaic set of rules with no place in today's society? To me, "good manners" always seemed too forced, rigid and, for lack of a better word, unphysical. I prefer to express myself through body language, so if I say "fuck off ya loser" to my friend but am grinning and not taking an aggressive stance, I don't think that should be seen as a sign of disrespect or rudeness (and thankfully my friends take it as jest).

Are manners the mark of a civilised society or just a stuffy set of outdated rules?
I think both. But perhaps, as expounded above, 'good manners' needn't always be verbal and without humour.

Do/should manners be a feature of the workplace? Our relationships? Our home lives?
Yes, as they are an important balancing tool. They are useful for defusing tense situations and socialising with people you don't know well. Even with those you know well, manners should be mingled with joviality and informality, lest one comes off as annoying, arrogant or prudish.

Are manners a generational issue?
Most definitely. We obviously learn a basic set of manners from our parents but those are subject to change as we interact with our peers at school and university. Further, manners are a social construction, and as such are subject to social changes. If, for example, a prominent figure in a social circle at one time is distinctly without specifically formal and posh etiquette, it's likely then that posh and formal etiquette would be frowned upon in that social circle.
 

sam04u

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Do good manners still matter these days?
They matter less. Some people perceive manners to be a sign of respect, but that's completely untrue. Most people act in good manners not as a sign of respect or tradition, but rather to express superiority, a moral high-ground, or worse out of consequence.

e.g; I think SBS shouldn't waste our fucking time with this shit. Is that good manners? Probably not.

Have we lost the art of good etiquette?
Why don't you answer that question? You didn't even address us with a title. Rather you started with an impersonal greeting.

Are manners the mark of a civilised society?
Quite the opposite. Manners are a sign of an outdated society where there are seperate classes, a cultured, albeit outdated society. If we're all equal, we should treat others as we would our close friends.

Do/should manners be a feature of the workplace? Our relationships? Our home lives?
No. I think it should be reserved to dealing with authorities. e.g; Courts.
 

Captain Gh3y

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SBS television

Manners still exist today, it's just that our way of expressing them may be different to 60 years ago, so old people think everyone is rude

P.S. can you get Les Murray sacked, it's just beyond pathetic these days
 

sam04u

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jb_nc said:
can i get in the audience and be the token racist who blames multiculturalism for a decline in manners
dose efnics hav gud mannaz to 1 anova m8, but hav no respekd 4 us tru blu aussies
 
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Graney

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incentivation said:
Manners, etiquette and respect have long been on a downward spiral. It reflects the progression to a society focused upon self-interest and self-advancement with little, if any, regard for others.
Are you 50? How do you know?

There have always been rude, violent, ignorant thugs. Any other opinion, is an unrealistic idealisation of a past that never existed.

The elderly have an understandably limited knowledge of youth culture, where negative incidences observed are obviously blown out of proportion. I've been asked by 2ue listening grandparents if I'm ever offered pills. This coming from the generation that led the world's highest per capita alcohol consumption. We're soft compared to the shennery our granddads got up to.
 

KFunk

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Do good manners still matter these days?

I think that manners still matter in so far as they help to reduce conflict in social situations. For example, one might take the following as a general rule of etiquette 'avoid offending others unnecessarily'. It is fairly simple to see how following this kind of rule would 'smooth the social waters', so to speak, leading to more civil interactions.

Also, living in the kind of social setting you find in a city (or similar) you inevitably interact with a large number of people that you have never met before. When conducting these interactions you don't have a past relationship history to tell you what does, and does not, constitute appropriate behavior when interacting with these people. Manners can thus act as a rough set of guiding rules to govern these interactions in the absence of a personal relationship 'protocol'.

Have we lost the art of good etiquette?
I'm only 20, I can't really comment.

Are manners the mark of a civilised society or just a stuffy set of outdated rules?

Certainly, they seem to be beneficial (some reasons are given above) but I still think there is strong sense in which they are arbitrary. Take, for example, customs regarding greeting gestures, e.g. some men will not offer their hand to a woman to shake as a matter of etiquette, whereas they will readily offer it to another man. Similarly there are rules regarding the use and placement of eating implements in a restaurant. Rules like these strike me as highly arbitrary and should probably be regarded as unnecessary. More general rules like 'do not offend others unnecessarily', on the other hand, seem justifiable given the non-arbitrary social benefit they produce.

Note also that the latter rule I support (i.e. that we should avoid offending others) can be used to justify the pursuit of seemingly arbitrary rules, e.g. following eating utensil etiquette when dining with one's grandparents. While this may provide a situational justification for some of these rules I still think that the more arbitrary practices could stand to be rejected when considered outside of such situations.

Do/should manners be a feature of the workplace? Our relationships? Our home lives?

In line with the above, I advocate rules of etiquette which can be justified on the basis of their social utility alone (i.e. the 'avoid offending others' rule) whereas I suggest we should be able to pick and choose amongst the more arbitrary ones (unless, of course, doing so offends more central rules). I think personal relationships perhaps have more room for flexibility since the development of relationships involves some degree of negotiation of what is, and isn't, appropriate (though this 'negotiation' need not be explicit).

Are manners a generational issue?

For the most part I would say they are. As I have identified above, there are probably core, abstract rules (which perhaps align themselves more closely with what we would call moral principles) which persist through time, across generations. However, the bulk of any given system of etiquette/manners seems to consist mostly of prescriptions of the arbitrary form.

Also, some items of etiquette may once have served a social purpose only to have later become redundant. For example, in a society which uses left hands to wipe after defecating it makes sense not to eat or shake hands with one's left hand. However, once toilet paper, soap and running water are introduced there is little reason to maintain such a practice.
 

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Most important aspect of manners: don't be a slut. This also goes for the guys; don't be a man-slut.
 

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