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- i can't jump upstairs, cause my mum thinks im going to fall through the floor
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Of course it reminds her of "bedroom action" every night she doesn't need to hear it anywhere else or any other time.
Well of course if your mum notices you spend more time out at night rather than at school to improve your literacy she would resort to this.
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- can't lock my door, even though there is a lock on the door
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You didn't use your keys to pry open a can of tuna did you?
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- after school i have to come home
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You need to do your homework or study.
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- have to have hair SHORT at all times, or else it distracts with study
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Unfortunately she won't be able to recognise you as her child otherwise.
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- when my parent's ask for something.. it is IMMEDIATE
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You need to be more assertive unless you are their slave by fate.
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- i can't have too many friends, cause they distract with my study
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Because your mum suspects them doing crack or drinking alcohol like it comes from a fountain.
She is trying to prevent you from experiencing the materialistic way of life.
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- can't wake up later than 10 or sleep later than 11 (they don't know I'm on now)
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Because she can't afford sleeping pills.
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- uai MUST be 90+, preferrably 99.95, or something similar
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The HSC is competitive it is a dog eat dog world and it proves your worth.
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- can't look in the mirror cause it is VAIN
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She is afraid you will see a mysterious figure in the mirror which will tell you how to kill your parents.
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- can't get in a relationship till im in uni
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She knows if you are 18 she is no longer obliged to raise you and cares shit all if you get AIDS.
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- can't drive even though im legal age, cause it distracts with study...
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Because you cannot read a book while driving unless you are a superhuman.