Rules for Customers

[townie]

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In light of posts by _muse_ and others, i present customer rules


1. Dont tell me u left ur green bag in the car and expect me to laugh
2. Dont blame me when ur credit card wont scan thru because u've mangled it
3. ask for cash out BEFORE u've entered ur PIN
4. Query the price BEFORE ur signing the credit card slip
5. When i say 'would u like a bag?' make up ur mind in 5 seconds, and dont change it.
6. that buzzing noise, the one u hear when people walk in, that keeps on going if u DONT MOVE OUT OUT THE FUCKING DOORWAY
7. No, i dont know where every single product in the store is
8. No, we dont have infinite storage to magically have 2 cases of some obscure product.
9. Dont be suprised when ur not allowed in 15 minuters after the store has closed.
10. dont be suprised when i refuse 2 accept ur payment of $15 in 10c coins

ADD YOUR OWN

[townie]

Special Woolworths Liquor Ones:

1. Amazing as it is, we dont carry an infinite supply of paper bags
2. The specials for the next week are put up on Sunday because suprisingly enuf, people dont wanna come in at 3am on monday to set them up before open of business.
3. dont be suprised wen u dont get 10% of the wine wen it has a particular bottle of wine in it, since there are 50 signs up telling u it's not included in the 10%
4. our fridge isnt big enought to have every single bottle if white cold
5. we DO run out of wine, "out the bacK" is not a place where 3 cases of every single bottle of wine is held.
6. i ask for ID for a reason
7. wen ur an able bodied person, dont ask me 2 get a case of beer when there is a long line and u can bloody get it urself

[bamiyan]

Make my job any more harder than it is and I'll bash ya...

That pretty much sums it all up.

[!! CaR`JiE !!]

Originally Posted by bamiyan

Make my job any more harder than it is and I'll bash ya...

That pretty much sums it all up.

LOL

[elisabeth]

For fast food:

1. If there's a long line, there is NO excuse for not knowing what you want by the time you're being served. Don't hold up the line for ages because you're an idiot who can't make up your mind.

2. Be nice to your server. It is the difference between getting free sauces, extra napkins and hot chips, as opposed to me scraping the chip dump for all the old ones that have been there for a while.

3. If you're at Oporto, don't order a fucking bondi burger "without the chilli". If you can't read the menu and you're rude about it, I will pointedly explain the difference and make you look dumb in front of your gf.

4. I hate this, for couples: if I look you in the eye and ask politely what drink you'd like, don't whisper it do your partner and make him/her to tell me. I asked you, dammit!

5. Don't slap your money down on the counter when my hand is outstretched. It's really rude. Would I do the same thing with your change?

6. If I tell you upfront there will be a 5 minute wait while your food is cooked fresh and ask if that's OK, you have the choice to walk away and eat somewhere else if this is a major inconvenience for you. Don't roll your eyes and glare at me the whole time because there is nothing I can do about it and I've given you fair warning.

Pharmacy:

1. When I ask politely "if you've got your medicare card on you..." it's not because I think you're trying to cheat the system. I don't care if you've "been coming here for ages, I should be on the computers" but IT'S THE LAW. It's my job to check and there are signs all over the counter saying this. Doctors sometimes make mistakes, people get new cards... and then who'd be the first one to bitch about paying more because your card number came up wrong?

2. Do not get aggressive with me because the pharmacist won't sell you whatever drug you're after.

3. Please don't completely muck up all the shelves and sunglasses stands. If you do, try and at least look apologetic about it?

4. Unless you buy something big/heavy, most pharmacies will put your purchase in a paper bag. When I ask "would you like a bag for that?", it's almost always referring to a paper bag. So if you would like a plastic, no worries, just please ask BEFORE I've taped up your pills and scripts in a paper bag. The first few times, no biggie. But when you're a regular customer and this happens every time, it gets annoying.

5. If there's just me and the owner there and the doors are down, we're closed and only let you in because of his goodwill. Once you've paid, don't hang around trying on sunglasses because we're CLOSED. Go home so I can do the same! I don't get paid to hang around while you do.


Ahh.. writing that brought up all these memories of crappy customers. Hopefully everyone who reads this thread will recognise and lose a few of their own bad habits as customers.

[elisabeth]

Originally Posted by townie

In light of posts by _muse_ and others, i present customer rules
7. No, i dont know where every single product in the store is

Lol, I asked someone at woolies once where something was and saw him check that laminated sheet at the end of the row. You guys can't be expected to know everything... so anywho, now I don't have to bother anyone and just look at the 'cheat sheet' myself.

[jumb]

I don't give a shit if you want to take your service elsewhere. Either way, I'll get paid the same amount.

[Hippy La-Laa]

Fruit Shop

1. Do not bring back half-mawled fruit and expect a refund on the bit you didn't use.

2. Don't piss me off or I'll claw your fruit as I place it into the bag.

Random Corporate Office

1. When you call:

a) Speak in english (I do not understand incoherent Vietnamese)

b) Don't just ask to 'speak to David'. There are 7 Davids in the office.

c) I do not need to hear all about your wall and leaking roof. I'm an 18 year old female who knows absolutely nothing about buildings and can't offer advice on how to fix it. Tell me who you want and I'll put you through.

d) Don't call and say 'You just called me'. I didn't. There are over 200 people in the office and any one of them could have just phoned you.

e) Don't get tetchy when I tell you the above. Move on with your life and accept that you have one missed call from our number.

[Invalid]

Pub Work...

ID is a requirement

[Abbeygale]

Gift Shop

1. I may be female, but that doesn't mean I think your children are as cute as you do. Do not stand looking at them adoringly while they ask stupid questions and pull our display to bits.

2. We're willing to make jewellery and do repairs, but the price goes up by five dollars every time you say the word 'just'. 'Can you just add an extra three red beads in the centre here?'.

Chinese Restaurant.

3. If I tell you that I've only been working there for a couple of shifts, don't roll your eyes if I have to find a supervisor to explain to you how the Peking Steak is made. Surprisingly enough, I don't have the ingredients list of everything on the menu memorised.

4. If you say you're ready to order, I tend to assume you're ready to order. Don't leave me standing by the table for ten minutes while you debate whether to order the Satay Beef or not.

[^CoSMic DoRiS^^]

For Checkouts:
1. if you are buying something for, say, one dollar, DO NOT pay for it with a 9 hundred dollar note and then get pissed off when i have to scrape the bottom of the register for change.
2. likewise, if you buy something for, say, 50 dollars, DO NOT pay for it in 5c coins and then get pissed off when i have to spend 3 days counting it out.
3. dont expect me to let you in after the store has closed. standing there bashing on the door wont help either.
4. you break it, you pay for it. and i if i say this to you and you chuck a tantrum, my supervisor will make you pay more for it...so watch ur mouth

[_muse_]

Originally Posted by _muse_

here are my rules if you ever come through my checkout
- if i look bored, i probably am so dont make some stupid joke like "oh HAHAHAHAHA you look bored ill come through you and give you something to do!" chances are, ill serve u like shit cause you would've jus pissed me off.

- if you ask for money out, do it BEFORE the eftpos is being processed so i dont have to cancel everything and put it through while u stand there and sigh at me. its not my fault you didnt tell me early enough

- i dont HAVE to serve you, so dont prance up to my checkout like you are fucking royalty and expect me to serve you like im a slave. I'll put as many things in a bag as i want - its called saving money. If you want something done separately, i have no problems, just dont say it nicely, i have NO problems doing anything for customers who are polite and speak to me in the manner that i speak to them.

- If your under 18 and you come through and ask for cigarettes and i ask you for ID.. you should be proud, even you 30-something year olds should be proud if i ask you for ID.. it means you look YOUNG. Dont sigh and shake your head at me like im a fucking idiot.

- If i ask you how you are dont ignore me and then badger on about how crap your life is at the moment and how you wish there was someone who would just hold you. Because i wont.

- dont EVER, EVER say "good girl" when i finish serving you. FUCK that pisses me off.

there.. i quoted myself haha...
ooooooo boy i could find some more rules though...

[_muse_]

i have another one...
- DONT make some stupid joke about "Oh HAHAHAHAHA You've got the 'magic touch'" when u cant get your card to work and i can.. its common sense to read the instructions on the eftpos machine and actually swipe the card like it says........instead of holding the card in the one place and expecting it to read it.

- if your card works in the atm and not in our machine.....DONT BLAME ME... Its not my fault your card is mangled and feels like sandpaper because u have tried to stickytape it up so many times and then dropped it in the dirt. I have no sympathy for you.

[Atticus.]

FRESH FISH ANS FISH AND CHIP SHOP

1. dont ask me what is in a dimsim or i will actually tell you. then after ive told you dont act like i make the fucking things.

2. dont come into the shop and ask me for a fish that has fins ALL FISH HAVE FUCKING FINS

3. dont order a fuck load of shit then ask me if you can pay on card... i would have thought the 82634648 signs around the shop that say NO EFTPOS AVAILABLE would have given you the idea that you infact cannot pay on card

4. do not think your funny by ordering a piece of puffer fish. yes i know its poisonous and yes ive heard that joke before you twat

5. do not ever click at me and call me boy. i wll plunge your head in the deep fryer if you do

6. do not think that just because you eat at maccas everyday you will get your food in under 3 mins. your an obeses fuck anyway get out of my shop

7. in general do not come into the shop, i still get paid even if no one comes in!

[_Bushra_]

- Don't become intimate with your partner when i am trying to serve you. It's rather embarrasing for everyone involved
- Don't sigh and groan and mutter things like "This doesnt occur at ***" when you have to wait a few minutes for a price check
- Don't crack lame jokes. I am never in the mood for laughs at the register
- Don't EVER make humourous comments about my name. THEY ARE NOT FUNNY, JUST RUDE AND MEAN. (And don't get annoyed at me when i get pissed off!)

BIGW LAYBY RULES
- Don't repeatedly ring the (extremely annoying) bell when i have ALREADY served you
- Don't have a bitch about being unable to layby clearance goods
- Don't layby the following: Heavy dinner sets, anything fragile, anything bulky etc
- Don'y get pissed off when i have to call a manager and you have to wait. Its your problem.