Could someone please read over my speech and tell me where I could improve? (1 Viewer)

2loseyourmind4

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Hi!
So I have a speech due next week - it should be around 5 minutes, I understand at this point its alittle long, but I was wondering what i could cut out or improve on?

The statement we were given was “Often journeys take us to a place that is not on any map.”


JOURNEYS
King Lear & Flowers for Algernon


What does it mean, for a journey to take us to places that is not on any map?

Both inner and physical journeys which individuals will embark on undoubtably bring about difficult, unexpected experiences and significant changes to their lives and moral intelligence. Good Morning Year 11, upon our study, it has become apparent to me that journeys have the ability to heavily impact individuals and may be somewhat detrimental but can result in moral growth. This is primarily evident through Shakespeare's ‘ King Lear ’ and Daniel Keyes ‘ Flowers for Algernon ’ which presents stories of main characters undergoing significant journeys, that were definitely not on any map. This changed their state of mind towards particular situations and resulted in unpredicted changes.

The difficulty of undertaking an unexpected physical journey has the ability to detrimentally impact individuals, which is something they never would have thought possible. This is evident to us before Lear enters the storm, he slowly watches his daughters betray him, and his inability to believe the situation he is faced with, pushes him towards his insanity. He reacts with a dramatically physical upwelling of grief - he cries out with a raging tone, “I could as well be brought to knee his (King of France) throne and squire like pension beg to keep base life afoot!” (2.4.208–209). The utilisation of diction, especially of the phrase ‘ knee his throne’ encompasses how Lear's superior power was unrightfully stolen by his daughters, which is something he could have never anticipated. As Lear prepares to run off into the storm he ironically professes “ I’ll not weep” (2.4.276)“ Shakespeare's utilisation of pathetic fallacy assists us to understand the symbolism of Lear’s tears and him believing there’s a “tempest in (his) mind” (3.4.15) this amplifies the tension of his struggle, by elevating human forces to the level of natural forces. It is evident that Lear is now on a journey which a King of his prior power, would never believe to endure. Hence, the inner and physical journey individuals venture into will push them to their limits, especially if the individual is unprepared.

It is certain that individuals will come across what seems to be dire situations in their unexpected journeys. Yet, if they are able to overcome them, they can be left with a significant amount of moral growth, in saying this, they could also be physically left with less than what they started with. This is significantly conveyed through Daniel Keyes ‘ Flowers for Algernon’ where the main character Charlie Gordon is faced with a life changing event that is extremely difficult. Charlie embarks on a journey to try and regain what he once knew, yet, much like Lear, he is forced into a state of dire, and is astounded at how his life has taken a turn for the worse. Charlie exclaims in an frightful tone “ I’ve got to try and hold onto some of it. Oh God, please don't take it all away!”. As we can see, Keyes utilises emotional apostrophe and diction of the word ‘all’ and ‘some’ to juxtapose the struggle of losing everything from the unexpected event. Additionally, at the end of Charlie's peregrination, similarly to Lear, he is left with no one in his life.. He sombrely tells his doctor “ I dot have any frends or relatves”. Through the use of illogical dialect and diction of the word ‘any’, we are able to note of the end of Charlie's journey, which left him with nobody in his life when it underwent significant change. His journey unknowingly took him places he never could have conceived prior to the commencement of it, “but it was worth it”. Therefore, I’m sure we can agree that it is undeniable that those journeys which are unexpected can result in immense change.

Once individuals have undertaken their difficult journeys and learnt about themselves, not only their lives are changed, but often the lives of those around them. Depending on their actions within their journey, they can be left with people who they least expected to be there for them. We can note of this at the end of ‘King Lear’ when Cordelia is seen to be Lear's only support. The foreshadowing within the first Act of the play highlights Cordelia and Lear ironically repeating the words ‘Nothing’ (1.1.82-85) showcases how the end of Lear's journey will turn out, in fact, the word nothing is repeated in the play 34 times, showcasing how dramatically life changing the journey will be for Lear. It is especially important to note the significant change at the end of Lear’s journey is when he reunites with Cornelia. His tone immediately lightens to a joyful cheer “ We two alone will sing like birds i’th’cage” (5.3.9). This shows us the significant change in Lear’s demeanour, juxraposed to the previous Lear who was blind and furiously ran in the storm. We are also able to realise that the physical and inner journey which Lear embarked on allowed him to gain moral intelligence, in that he was able to realise the wrongfulness in his banishment of his daughter. Lear’s imploring tone demonstrates that “Ill kneel down and ask of thee forgiveness”. We should note that in the play, the actor of Lear would be in an inferior stance to Cordelia, his facial expressions sombre. This certainly showcases while Lears journeys into the storm was unforeseen, it was the journey which played the most significance to help him understand who he was and where he went wrong. Therefore, I assure you that journeys which characters like Lear may unexpectedly commence, have the ability to be some of the most important to their lives, no matter how difficult they may be.

To conclude, It is beyond doubt that journeys, both inner and physical are able to be of great significance to all individuals, especially those that cannot be found on any map, no matter how difficult or inexorable they may seem at the time. Through the characters of King Lear and Charlie Gordon, I have learnt that journeys are capable of challenging some individuals conception of themselves, thus without them, we wouldn't be able to grow and become who we truly are.
 

tigerian

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Hi!
So I have a speech due next week - it should be around 5 minutes, I understand at this point its alittle long, but I was wondering what i could cut out or improve on?

The statement we were given was “Often journeys take us to a place that is not on any map.”


JOURNEYS
King Lear & Flowers for Algernon


What does it mean, for a journey to take us to places that is not on any map?

Both inner and physical journeys which individuals will embark on undoubtably bring about difficult, unexpected experiences and significant changes to their lives and moral intelligence. Good Morning Year 11, upon our study, it has become apparent to me that journeys have the ability to heavily impact individuals and may be somewhat detrimental but can result in moral growth. This is primarily evident through Shakespeare's ‘ King Lear ’ and Daniel Keyes ‘ Flowers for Algernon ’ which presents stories of main characters undergoing significant journeys, that were definitely not on any map. This changed their state of mind towards particular situations and resulted in unpredicted changes.

The difficulty of undertaking an unexpected physical journey has the ability to detrimentally impact individuals, which is something they never would have thought possible. This is evident to us before Lear enters the storm, he slowly watches his daughters betray him, and his inability to believe the situation he is faced with, pushes him towards his insanity. He reacts with a dramatically physical upwelling of grief - he cries out with a raging tone, “I could as well be brought to knee his (King of France) throne and squire like pension beg to keep base life afoot!” (2.4.208–209). The utilisation of diction, especially of the phrase ‘ knee his throne’ encompasses how Lear's superior power was unrightfully stolen by his daughters, which is something he could have never anticipated. As Lear prepares to run off into the storm he ironically professes “ I’ll not weep” (2.4.276)“ Shakespeare's utilisation of pathetic fallacy assists us to understand the symbolism of Lear’s tears and him believing there’s a “tempest in (his) mind” (3.4.15) this amplifies the tension of his struggle, by elevating human forces to the level of natural forces. It is evident that Lear is now on a journey which a King of his prior power, would never believe to endure. Hence, the inner and physical journey individuals venture into will push them to their limits, especially if the individual is unprepared.

It is certain that individuals will come across what seems to be dire situations in their unexpected journeys. Yet, if they are able to overcome them, they can be left with a significant amount of moral growth, in saying this, they could also be physically left with less than what they started with. This is significantly conveyed through Daniel Keyes ‘ Flowers for Algernon’ where the main character Charlie Gordon is faced with a life changing event that is extremely difficult. Charlie embarks on a journey to try and regain what he once knew, yet, much like Lear, he is forced into a state of dire, and is astounded at how his life has taken a turn for the worse. Charlie exclaims in an frightful tone “ I’ve got to try and hold onto some of it. Oh God, please don't take it all away!”. As we can see, Keyes utilises emotional apostrophe and diction of the word ‘all’ and ‘some’ to juxtapose the struggle of losing everything from the unexpected event. Additionally, at the end of Charlie's peregrination, similarly to Lear, he is left with no one in his life.. He sombrely tells his doctor “ I dot have any frends or relatves”. Through the use of illogical dialect and diction of the word ‘any’, we are able to note of the end of Charlie's journey, which left him with nobody in his life when it underwent significant change. His journey unknowingly took him places he never could have conceived prior to the commencement of it, “but it was worth it”. Therefore, I’m sure we can agree that it is undeniable that those journeys which are unexpected can result in immense change.

Once individuals have undertaken their difficult journeys and learnt about themselves, not only their lives are changed, but often the lives of those around them. Depending on their actions within their journey, they can be left with people who they least expected to be there for them. We can note of this at the end of ‘King Lear’ when Cordelia is seen to be Lear's only support. The foreshadowing within the first Act of the play highlights Cordelia and Lear ironically repeating the words ‘Nothing’ (1.1.82-85) showcases how the end of Lear's journey will turn out, in fact, the word nothing is repeated in the play 34 times, showcasing how dramatically life changing the journey will be for Lear. It is especially important to note the significant change at the end of Lear’s journey is when he reunites with Cornelia. His tone immediately lightens to a joyful cheer “ We two alone will sing like birds i’th’cage” (5.3.9). This shows us the significant change in Lear’s demeanour, juxraposed to the previous Lear who was blind and furiously ran in the storm. We are also able to realise that the physical and inner journey which Lear embarked on allowed him to gain moral intelligence, in that he was able to realise the wrongfulness in his banishment of his daughter. Lear’s imploring tone demonstrates that “Ill kneel down and ask of thee forgiveness”. We should note that in the play, the actor of Lear would be in an inferior stance to Cordelia, his facial expressions sombre. This certainly showcases while Lears journeys into the storm was unforeseen, it was the journey which played the most significance to help him understand who he was and where he went wrong. Therefore, I assure you that journeys which characters like Lear may unexpectedly commence, have the ability to be some of the most important to their lives, no matter how difficult they may be.

To conclude, It is beyond doubt that journeys, both inner and physical are able to be of great significance to all individuals, especially those that cannot be found on any map, no matter how difficult or inexorable they may seem at the time. Through the characters of King Lear and Charlie Gordon, I have learnt that journeys are capable of challenging some individuals conception of themselves, thus without them, we wouldn't be able to grow and become who we truly are.

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