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Thread: Paragraph checking

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    Junior Member highshill's Avatar
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    Question Paragraph checking

    Can someone see if my paragraph is good I do eng advanced give it marks too if possible

    Throughout Dracula the Gothic theme of superstition is incorporated. It is through dialogue which allows Stoker to extensively express the theme. "Do you know... clock strikes midnight... will have full sway? The dialogue indicates an eerie tone of despair and hopelessness. Stoker creates this Gothic doom to foreshadow the horrible events to come. It allows a sense of fear to be settle in the responders mind, a tone often incorporated in classic gothic literature. Superstition acts as an everlasting hope to ease characters as it provides them with logical reasoning to benefit their safety whilst destroying evil as well, thes "omens, portents and visions play a crucial role towards the unpredictable despair of doom.

    Thanks

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    Junior Member highshill's Avatar
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    Re: Paragraph checking

    The question is regarding gothic elements

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    Re: Paragraph checking

    Quote Originally Posted by highshill View Post
    Can someone see if my paragraph is good I do eng advanced give it marks too if possible

    Throughout Dracula the Gothic theme of superstition is incorporated. It is through dialogue which allows Stoker to extensively express the theme. "Do you know... clock strikes midnight... will have full sway? The dialogue indicates an eerie tone of despair and hopelessness. Stoker creates this Gothic doom to foreshadow the horrible events to come. It allows a sense of fear to be settle in the responders mind, a tone often incorporated in classic gothic literature. Superstition acts as an everlasting hope to ease characters as it provides them with logical reasoning to benefit their safety whilst destroying evil as well, thes "omens, portents and visions play a crucial role towards the unpredictable despair of doom.

    Thanks
    Needs a proper topic sentence. Why is superstition incorporated? The second sentence just delete it as it serves no purpose. Try and make every sentence necessary. For quotes you must blend it into your sentences not just make it its own sentence, e.g. Stoker uses dialogue in "quote" to portray an eerie tone of despair and hopelessness. Dialogue wouldn't be a sufficient technique, what part of the dialogue? The quote I'm assuming you cut short using ellipses, don't do this it looks like you forgot the quote and are just filling in the blanks.

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    Re: Paragraph checking

    Thanks a lot pikachu975 I need the critism to improve thanks a lot your help is really apppreciated

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    Re: Paragraph checking

    Can I say distressed dialogue?

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    Re: Paragraph checking

    How about this version

    Throughout Dracula the gothic theme of superstition is incorporated, to allow a tone of despair and doom. Stoker uses emphatically dialogue in do you that tonight when the clock strikes midnight all the evil things will have full sway? to portray an eerie tone of despair and hopelessness. Stoker creates this I paling gothic doom to foreshadow the horrible events to come. It settle a sense of fears in the readers minds, a tone which is often used in gothic literature. This outlines superstion as an everlasting hope as it benefits the characters safety by providing 'logical reasoning'

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    Re: Paragraph checking

    ah, I'd be careful of plagiarism if I were you.
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    Re: Paragraph checking

    Quote Originally Posted by highshill View Post
    How about this version

    Throughout Dracula the gothic theme of superstition is incorporated, to allow a tone of despair and doom. Stoker uses emphatically dialogue in do you that tonight when the clock strikes midnight all the evil things will have full sway? to portray an eerie tone of despair and hopelessness. Stoker creates this I paling gothic doom to foreshadow the horrible events to come. It settle a sense of fears in the readers minds, a tone which is often used in gothic literature. This outlines superstion as an everlasting hope as it benefits the characters safety by providing 'logical reasoning'
    You need to fix some typos some parts don't make sense
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    Re: Paragraph checking

    Thanks pikachu975 and He man
    Last edited by highshill; 14 Jul 2017 at 5:33 PM.

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    Re: Paragraph checking

    Can someone check this too:

    The castle in Dracula acts as an impending link to madness. When Johnathan quotes "All I see are doors,doors,doors!" The repition of the word 'doors' of the castle signify as a barrier to the sane world. as it imposes a threat to the character's eternal happiness only to replace it with absurd madness. The traditional gothic castle exposes its false sense of security by driving sane characters like Johnnathan into madness by the discomfort it for puts on the characters. As a result the characters begin to act irrational allowing the never ending fear to incorporate into madness.

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    Paragraph checking

    Quote Originally Posted by highshill View Post
    Can someone check this too:

    The castle in Dracula acts as an impending link to madness. When Johnathan quotes "All I see are doors,doors,doors!" The repition of the word 'doors' of the castle signify as a barrier to the sane world. as it imposes a threat to the character's eternal happiness only to replace it with absurd madness. The traditional gothic castle exposes its false sense of security by driving sane characters like Johnnathan into madness by the discomfort it for puts on the characters. As a result the characters begin to act irrational allowing the never ending fear to incorporate into madness.
    I did an essay on Dracula based on a similar question last term for English Extension for my half yearly exam actually, so I hope I'll be able to help you somewhat. Aside from the spelling and grammatical errors that have been mentioned previously, here is my feedback for your paragraph;

    First of all, do not say 'Jonathon quotes', ever. You're the one quoting. You also need to revise the clarity of your expression; the direction of your argument is often unclear. While I can understand your points, the way you've worded it compels me to read it twice in order to fully understand what you're trying to convey. You say the characters begin to act irrational, but how does this link to the background of the Gothic genre? Where is the evidence to support this point? How does Stoker bring forth these ideas effectively? Why are the characters placed in discomfort? How does this affect contemporary responders? In order to critically evaluate in the way that is required in Module B, you must answer these questions comprehensively. You need to strengthen your argument with judicious and purposeful references to not only the novel itself, but also its contextual influences. This is clearly an aspect you lack. A significant part of critical study is the ability to create links to context, so please consider this if you want to maximise your results for this essay. Overall, the paragraph has potential but you need to incorporate far greater analytical depth into your response if you want to perform well here.


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    Last edited by Lumenoria; 14 Jul 2017 at 8:37 PM.
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    Re: Paragraph checking

    thanks alot lumenoria because of your feed i may improve myself and be a better student in english advanced thanks alot
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    Re: Paragraph checking

    Thanks to everybody who took out their time to help me.

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    Re: Paragraph checking

    Quote Originally Posted by highshill View Post
    thanks alot lumenoria because of your feed i may improve myself and be a better student in english advanced thanks alot
    No worries, best of luck!


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