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Best+Worst of Teacher Quotes and Habits (1 Viewer)

andyn

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yes this happened in my math class during a fire drill n we had to follow proper evacuation routes. OH&S

*bell goes off, everyone runs around*

Class- where do we go, wheres the map?
Teacher- I'll be back.....

next thing we know she runs out of the building.
 

sabira001

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Last period of last day of term (class chattering about upcoming holidays):

Substitute: Girls, we shall have a one minute silence to listen for the bell
Student (looks at watch): the bell is going to ring in five minutes
 

w00dy.

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we had a casual for modern one thursday afternoon double and we were all board out of brains, with about half hour til the bell. the teacher asked when the bell goes and one student said that the bell went soon, and asked if she could get an early mark because she missed her bus the other day. the casual teacher believed her and she was like oh, you should go then, and the rest of you can go too.

we left and the bell went half an hour later when it was supposed to go.
 

bringbackshred

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Year 9 English we had a sub who let us out 20 minutes early for lunch.

She came out to the quad to see us all, and rather than telling us to come back in, she decided to apologise profusely.
 

Legham

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In year 7 we were waiting out the front of our maths room for our teacher. He ended up walking straight past us, said "g'day" to some of us on the way past, and went and jumped in his car and drove off.. He didn't know he had a class even though he saw us there waiting :eek:
 

bringbackshred

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Legham said:
In year 7 we were waiting out the front of our maths room for our teacher. He ended up walking straight past us, said "g'day" to some of us on the way past, and went and jumped in his car and drove off.. He didn't know he had a class even though he saw us there waiting :eek:
/Win.
 

ranga29

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My sport teacher had a mad comeback one time that i dont think he was expecting would work as well as it did.
we were in sport and it was raining so we were watching a movie and one of the smart arse boys got up and said:
boy: i am not watching this crap
Sir: you dont even know what it is yet
Boy: if it isnt porn i dont wanna watch it
Sir: mate, you couldn't even spell porn
Boy: (in a mocking voice) P-O-R-N-E (slams door and walks out...everyone laughing at his expense)
Sir: i wonder what kind of sites he gets when looking up porne on the net?
:rofl:
Also, my maths teacher once said to me.
Teacher: why not the next time you are at a party take your maths text book with you incase you get bored.
:confused:
we have had a lot of ex-sport people substitutes and one day we had slippery steve morris (his twin sons now play for st george illawarra, his old team) anyway, i think he has been hit in the head with the ball to much because when we were revising the periodic table of elements we thought we would mess with him a bit:
Slippery: What does C stand for?
Me: Magnesium (trying to trick him)
Slippery: Correct! now what does S stand for?
Nerd: Sulfur (knowing that she is right)
Slippery: Wrong! salt!

lol some of the teachers at my school are classic!
 
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shorty123

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Redbeard said:
My computer studies teacher told us about his computer one day, he said:
"My computer has this nifty feature, i put in a cd and it plays music back to me." He then said, "I know many of your computers probably don't do that though."
omg that reminds me of my yr9 computers teacher...she thought the CD ROM was a cup holder.....no one let her forget that day, after all she is a computers teacher
 

goosiegoo

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tezable said:
ancient history teacher...

" i dont know much about this sunbject, so im learing along with you!!"

"i dont have time to teach you this...co u will have to teach yourselves"

mmmm....i love ancient history!
Oh! My (advanced) english teacher said that to us on the first day of Year 11. "Now... you probably all know as much about English as me, so we'll be learning together!" And i'm like; Arrgghhh, this is the top class.
What fun.
 

freakshow42

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ME: sir, do you have a floppy disk?
Teacher: that's a rather personal question to ask.

some of the boys in my class were playing with tennis balls.
Teacher: boys stop playing with your balls. if you must play with them play with them at lunch.
 
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Peteage

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I have several from my studies of religion class

1)
Member: Hey sir. You know how Jesus is going to come back and the world is going to end and such.
Teacher: Yea...
Member: Well, like, how is all that going to happen?
Teacher: Well you see all the people with sirnames ranging between A-H will stand over... HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?!?!

2)Note: teacher has a distaste to swinging in chairs
Teacher: *walks into class* When I walk into this class I think it is the special olympics, because everyone is moving around in chairs.

3)
Member: Hey sir you remind me of this Harvey Norman sales person.
Teacher: Thats ok, you think this is a harvey norman class.
Member: What is that supposed to mean?
Teacher: Well you come here and then you dont expect to pay any interist for 2 years.
 

Chinmoku03

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These are some really shocking (To me anyway) things my teachers have said during class...

Eng: YR12, I'm spoon feeding you; It's a matter of you guys opening your mouths and swallowing

Phys: Because of our heavy dependence on electricity, greenhouse gases are being emitted to meet our demands. But that's your problem, not mine, since I'll be dead soon

Religion: I remember how this room was never used to conduct lessons before. See, a prostitute used to live in that room next to the window. So sometime during lessons, erotic noises can be heard from that room

3U Maths student: Sir, is your daughter a girl?
Teacher: Hm... Last time I checked, yeah. To make you feel special, I'll go home tonight and check if she's growing a (male genital) inside her. (female genital) You know, just to make sure she's not a hermaphrodite or anything

As for habits... My Eng teacher loves accusing people of taking drugs or, as he puts it, having bongs for breakfast. And my 3U maths teacher gets distracted so easily with little things, like discussing how dark matter relates to being a DJ
 
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Peteage said:
I have several from my studies of religion class

1)
Member: Hey sir. You know how Jesus is going to come back and the world is going to end and such.
Teacher: Yea...
Member: Well, like, how is all that going to happen?
Teacher: Well you see all the people with sirnames ranging between A-H will stand over... HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?!?!

2)Note: teacher has a distaste to swinging in chairs
Teacher: *walks into class* When I walk into this class I think it is the special olympics, because everyone is moving around in chairs.

3)
Member: Hey sir you remind me of this Harvey Norman sales person.
Teacher: Thats ok, you think this is a harvey norman class.
Member: What is that supposed to mean?
Teacher: Well you come here and then you dont expect to pay any interist for 2 years.
Wow, some actual good ones. Very nice indeed.
 

adders

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On my mates maths report card

Your son has hit rock bottom...and now he's started to dig
 

Shadowulf

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*Student walks into class late and starts talking to friend*
Maths teacher: What're you doing? You come into class 10 minutes late and start talking??
Student: I'm just getting into the groove of things
Teacher: Yeh you know what? You're gonna have a groove in your head soon


One time, 2 guys from maths class walked out to watch knock outs soccer play for the rest of the period,
so the next day, the maths teacher puts up a full serious "lecture", something along the lines of::

"I talked to (teacher in charge of knock out soccer), and he said he didnt ask you to be there, he didnt want you to talk to him, he said he was busy. And he refuses to write a note... so go to the deputy and sort things out"

*boys sit there waiting for him to tell them he's joking... but doesnt happen*
*boys walk out of class and walk 3/4 of the way up the hallway towards the deputy's office*
*teacher walks out*
"HAH!!!"

same teacher, AGAIN

Student 1: *singing*
Teacher: Oh for crying out loud, shut up
Student 2: c'mon sir, its valentines day, let him sing
Teacher: Well if he could sing, id let him


Again same teacher (this guy rocks)

At the start of the lesson, a student asks him to fill up his bottle from the staff room's water dispenser (since its close by), so he takes the bottle and throws it towards the bin, but he misses....

by the end of the lesson, the same student says
"go on sir, i'll give you another chance.." *hands over bottle*
"right from over there, go on"

So the teacher backs up, lifts arm up like hes gonna throw it, and then chucks it out a broken window

cant remember everything.. he always comes up with something funny every lesson, we have a lesson every day even on our 2 week time table =)
 

Atonofrash

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haha my computer teacher had this habit of bending over when girls were sitting down, and trying to look up their skirts, LOL.
 

m0ofin

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Atonofrash said:
haha my computer teacher had this habit of bending over when girls were sitting down, and trying to look up their skirts, LOL.
That is hardly amusing.
 

zaqwerty

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Just imagine the most conservative Studies of Religion teacher you could ever meet...
Then imagine her greeting one of her students as so:
"Wuzzup homie G?!"


It was POURING with rain one day and we were in maths, and we heard all this screaming so we looked outside the window and there were all these year 7 kids screaming at the rain, and my maths teacher said
"That's the problem with being in a drought. Kids that age haven't seen rain yet..."

Hist. Ext teacher:
"Don't just fill in your log book the night before its due and change pens every few pages"

Modern History teacher is a classic. E.g.
"The conditions in Russia were shitfull"
"So what are the peasants going to say? That's right, FUCK OFF!! *sticks finger up*"
"I once had a girlfriend that chased me with a gun..." and
"My girlfriend Barbara claimed she found God in my backyard under the bushes"
 

HanT

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LOL! They're all gold..
At our deb ball, our deputy principal was making a speech...
"...and I hope you all have great sex...uh, success, in your futures..."
Ca-lassic.
 

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