Does this sentence makes sentence??? (1 Viewer)

sghguos

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This is in the Frankenstein and blade runner essay. Its a paragraph on the relationship between creator and creation.




The objectification of man's creation limits his responsibility, which shows that they have insuffecient compassion in understanding the actions of their creation.




Chreers,
 

OzKo

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Bit too wordy in my opinion.

It looks like you've tried to toss in as many keywords pertaining to your argument in one sentence.
 

Absolutezero

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Your phrasing is verbose and unclear and while sense can be made of it, it doesn't mean anything. You've asserted that the objectifications limits responsibility and that the objectification limits compassion, but you haven't shown how any of this is actually true.
 

Nooblet94

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This is in the Frankenstein and blade runner essay. Its a paragraph on the relationship between creator and creation.




The objectification of man's creation limits his responsibility, which shows that they have insuffecient compassion in understanding the actions of their creation.




Chreers,
Not really, no. I can see what you're getting at, but you need to be clearer - I've always been told you should assume the marker is an idiot.
 

2xL

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Yep, makes good sentence to me.
 

LoveHateSchool

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This is in the Frankenstein and blade runner essay. Its a paragraph on the relationship between creator and creation.




The objectification of man's creation limits his responsibility, which shows that they have insuffecient compassion in understanding the actions of their creation.




Chreers,
It's a little awkwardly expressed but it does make sense. I think with a bit of rewording your key idea would come out better :)
(I don't do Frankenstein/Bladerunner, so yeah)
 

SunnyScience

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This is in the Frankenstein and blade runner essay. Its a paragraph on the relationship between creator and creation.




The objectification of man's creation limits his responsibility, which shows that they have insuffecient compassion in understanding the actions of their creation.




Chreers,

Big words and verbose sentences ≠ sophistication.

Expressing complex ideas clearly with evidence = sophistication.
 

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