Family dilemma...how to get out of this? (1 Viewer)

[faintygirl83]

Here is a family dilemma...

My folks and teenager brother will be visiting my sister and other relatives in the UK for 3 weeks in May. On the way home my folks and brother have planned to go to New York for a week, and recently my dad invited my London based sister (who is 27) to come to NY and offered to pay for her flight there.

And now we've just gotten an email from my sister saying my cousin (who is 30) will be coming to NY too. My cousin was not invited at all, and now my folks are really pissed off about it. My sister actually lives with this cousin, and my cousin's family have treated my sister well and invited her on holidays etc.

How in the hell can my family get out of this? Having my cousin there will completely change the group dynamics (cousin is nice, but a strong character - my sister also behaves differently around my cousin). My folks also wanted the trip to NY to just be immediate family - they don't see my sister very often at all. Logistically it will also make the trip more difficult - 5 people can't fit in a cab and my folks will probably end up paying for everything (cousin doesn't work and gets money from her mother).

How the hell can my folks get out of this without offending my cousin and her family? Can anyone suggest any lies?

My family aren't really looking forward to the NY part of their holiday now.

 

[timlay]

you can make some pusssy excuse up.


but the easier way would be just telling them the truth. immediate family only.


OR OR. you can make life hell for your cousin. like you said. 5 people don't fit in a a cab. so tell your cousin to GO AWAY AND GET HER OWN CAB. lawl.

has your family tried to tell your cousin that its immediate family only? i also think having a cousin around is a bit...weird. =/ i live with my cousin. shes okay. but its sorta awkwarrrrd. i'd feel sorry for your teen brother.

just reply to your sister and tell her that you guys don't want her cousin to come.

so that way, she can do the talking and the thinking.... (although it'd be really hard on her.)


edit: pay the cousin not to come.

 

[faintygirl83]

you can make some pusssy excuse up.


but the easier way would be just telling them the truth. immediate family only.


OR OR. you can make life hell for your cousin. like you said. 5 people don't fit in a a cab. so tell your cousin to GO AWAY AND GET HER OWN CAB. lawl.

has your family tried to tell your cousin that its immediate family only? i also think having a cousin around is a bit...weird. =/ i live with my cousin. shes okay. but its sorta awkwarrrrd. i'd feel sorry for your teen brother.

just reply to your sister and tell her that you guys don't want her cousin to come.

so that way, she can do the talking and the thinking.... (although it'd be really hard on her.)


edit: pay the cousin not to come.

What makes it worse is that my folks and brother will be staying with my cousin's mother (my dad's sister) in England before they go to New York. My dad's sister is fiercely protective of her daughter. She'd probably be really offended if we said immediate family only, because they have included my sister on holidays (although she was invited...she didn't invite herself!)

The only lie I can think of would be to say they are not going to NY anymore, and still go, but that would have to be without my sister.

 

[Davriel]

That is one horrible situation. May I suggest telling your cousin the truth? If you tell them that it's for immediate family only you will have a better chance. Then you should offer some kind of promise to visit often. You WILL hurt their feelings, but sometimes you have to hurt the ones you love.

 

[Season]

If you can't say 'immedient family only' then you'll just have to grin and bear it. I'm actually guessing the cousins was vaguely invited by your sister. Perhaps you could tell her her mistake and she MIGHT be able to pull some strings.

However its a bit unfair to this cousin and her family if your sister comes along with their holidays and you can't return the favour. Its not really nice at all.

Lying will just make it worse, don't go down that path.

 

[faintygirl83]

If you can't say 'immedient family only' then you'll just have to grin and bear it. I'm actually guessing the cousins was vaguely invited by your sister. Perhaps you could tell her her mistake and she MIGHT be able to pull some strings.

However its a bit unfair to this cousin and her family if your sister comes along with their holidays and you can't return the favour. Its not really nice at all.

Lying will just make it worse, don't go down that path.

My sister wouldn't have invited her...apparently when my cousin's mother heard that my dad was buying my sister's plane ticket, she offered to buy a ticket for my cousin too, because 'that's what parents do'.

The kinds of holidays that my sister goes on with them are normally within the UK - (eg. renting a big house and having all the extended family there etc.) My cousin is also going with her brother to Las Vegas at her bro's expense - and my sister is not going on this trip.

I just would never do this to someone - its not like i'd invite myself to Las Vegas! :burn:

 

[mr_brightside]

Can I come too?

Does your sister know how your parents (and you) feel?

 

[Skeeta]

yeah get your sister to talk to her about it.

alternatively, add another leg to the trip, and visit your cousins wherever they are.