How protective are boys of our girls? (1 Viewer)

dark_horse

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All guys have a point at which we will snap if we see another guy flirting with our g/f. Where is it for you fellas? And where do you girls think the line should be drawn?
 

davin

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what do you mean by snap? i mean...do you mean get angry or hostile, or just get jealous?
 

azzie

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i like the whole protective thing, but not too protective. but my boyfriend isnt protective of me at all i dont think. i dunno, ive never seen it.
 

dark_horse

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davin said:
what do you mean by snap? i mean...do you mean get angry or hostile, or just get jealous?
i mean get angry, either at the guy or your girlfriend.

On a scale of 1-10 1 being mild irittation and 10 putting a hit on the other guy.

10 being where you snap by the way...
 

roxychicksta

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I think if u love and trust ur gf let the guy talk to her...u never no he could just be her friend or even gay for that matter soooo dont freak out unless u see him actually touching ur girl in a manner thats not appropriate...
If u are really that worried go over and stand with ur girl to show that she is yours...:)
 

dark_horse

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roxychicksta said:
I think if u love and trust ur gf let the guy talk to her...u never no he could just be her friend or even gay for that matter soooo dont freak out unless u see him actually touching ur girl in a manner thats not appropriate...
If u are really that worried go over and stand with ur girl to show that she is yours...:)
but what if you know the guy is an absolute sleaze and will be charming and nice then you are around but will make a move on her when you arent there to stop him?

or he likes her, but she cant see that and is flirting, and he takes it seriously, then he gets hurt?
 

davin

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i'd never get angry to the level of 10, though i can get jealous, and i have been annoyed in past when i see what seems to be interest at a gf from someone that knows about the relationship. but, then again, getting defensive about it doesn't do much. if she's happy with the relationship, then there's nothing to worry about. if she's not happy with it, then there's nothing to defend.
 

beckywecky

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I think that there's a healthy protectiveness level, per se. It illustrates to us that you guys do actually care about us, which is always nice to know.

Sometimes it's overdone though... Like, for example, when a guy you're not even in a relationship with (primarily because of distance issues) who's had a somewhat promiscuous past (and present) gets angry, and barely talks to you for weeks when he hears that you've been with another guy... When you have helped him through his girl issues over the years because you want to see him happy, even if you can't be the girl he's with. Talk about hypocrisy and double standards!

<End rant>

Gaaaaah, what is WITH that guys?? After he got over it, he told me it was because he "loved" me and didn't know how to handle it. But do you think it's taking protectiveness too far? What would you do?
 

pinkblinkbarbie

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my boyfriend is over protective and it gives me the shits.
he thinks every guy that talks to me is trying to get into my pants, i only see my male friends when i go out without my boyfriend, and to me that sucks. they are just my friends, they always ask where he is and tell me i should bring him out more so they can have a beer with him.
my boyfriend approached a guy for for a fight but got held back....i wasnt there but there was good reason why he wanted to kick ass, he had sexually assaulted me and not paid in any way for what he had done for me...but other then that, he has never been physical. he just makes me feel like shit for having male friends, and personnaly i like guys as friends better, there is no bitching etc, guys are just laid back but my boyfriend just wont approve...
 

Collin

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I used to be very protective, but that was during the honeymoon period. I'm still protective to an extent, but if the trust is there.. it shouldn't be an issue.

Sometimes it's entertaining to see other guys try.
 

withoutaface

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While I'm pretty trustworthy of anyone I'd go out with, I would find it shits me off when a guy is obviously hitting on her when he knows she's taken, more cause he has the nerve to do it than because I think she's going to stray.
 

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pinkblinkbarbie said:
my boyfriend is over protective and it gives me the shits.
he thinks every guy that talks to me is trying to get into my pants, i only see my male friends when i go out without my boyfriend, and to me that sucks. they are just my friends, they always ask where he is and tell me i should bring him out more so they can have a beer with him.
my boyfriend approached a guy for for a fight but got held back....i wasnt there but there was good reason why he wanted to kick ass, he had sexually assaulted me and not paid in any way for what he had done for me...but other then that, he has never been physical. he just makes me feel like shit for having male friends, and personnaly i like guys as friends better, there is no bitching etc, guys are just laid back but my boyfriend just wont approve...
Well if you're hot, then his argument has merit. But like I said in my post, if the trust is there, he shouldn't be as protective as he is.
 

davin

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beckywecky said:
I think that there's a healthy protectiveness level, per se. It illustrates to us that you guys do actually care about us, which is always nice to know.

Sometimes it's overdone though... Like, for example, when a guy you're not even in a relationship with (primarily because of distance issues) who's had a somewhat promiscuous past (and present) gets angry, and barely talks to you for weeks when he hears that you've been with another guy... When you have helped him through his girl issues over the years because you want to see him happy, even if you can't be the girl he's with. Talk about hypocrisy and double standards!

<End rant>

Gaaaaah, what is WITH that guys?? After he got over it, he told me it was because he "loved" me and didn't know how to handle it. But do you think it's taking protectiveness too far? What would you do?
thats def messed up.... it comes down to if its a relationship for enjoyment or for love, i'd think. i'd rather see a girl i care about happy than with me, if there has to be a pick.
the only issue, for me, comes then if you have to see them get involved with someone you know will hurt them, in the end. its more of a not wanting her to get hurt than it is not wanting her with guys, per se.
 

pinkblinkbarbie

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JKDDragon said:
Well if you're hot, then his argument has merit. But like I said in my post, if the trust is there, he shouldn't be as protective as he is.
we have this conversation. the "but if you trust me.." conversation. but it always ends up us fighting and him saying that i encrouage guys to want me and that if i didnt talk to my ex none of this would happen blah blah blah...he just makes shit up and blames everything on every other man on the planet...it gives me the shits.
 

withoutaface

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I think a lot of guys, while they might trust you, also have a lot of deep seated insecurities, which means they think the worst of everything.
 

sparkl3z

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it's all about trust, it shouldnt be an issue if two people trust eachother
 

davin

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definitly a good point...that factors in big time
 

pinkblinkbarbie

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i trust him 100%. if he had a girl sleep over at his house in his room, i would trust him not to do anything with her, and if she tried, i trust him to say no.
but why cant he trust me? i have never given him a reason not to! it makes me really cut up knowing my boyfriend cant trust me
 

beckywecky

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davin said:
thats def messed up.... it comes down to if its a relationship for enjoyment or for love, i'd think. i'd rather see a girl i care about happy than with me, if there has to be a pick.
the only issue, for me, comes then if you have to see them get involved with someone you know will hurt them, in the end. its more of a not wanting her to get hurt than it is not wanting her with guys, per se.
Yeah, he said that he was more "looking after me" and "wanting me to be the best and have the best..."
So after the long, heart felt apology I definitely felt better about the situation. It would be fantastic to be together, but the combination of a busy career, the HSC and distance makes it somewhat impossible. Which is why his reaction really wasn't expected.

Someday...

*Sigh.
 

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