I'm having such a hard time trying to get over this virtual relationship? (1 Viewer)

[Jenny927]

Okay so there's this guy I know, he liked me and I liked him, and that was about 3 months ago. Although its a distant friendship, we never dated. And we knew each other for well over 3 years.
However in the beginning of the year, this year he barely spoke to me and I thought to give him sometimes since he needs to study. And I only spoke to him on weekends.

So about 3 weeks ago I was like I'm planning to head over to your city and he said we can hang out. But we never really brought this up again until I brought it up last week asking of he was still free for that day and he said yes and I continued on and ask if he is still up for the meet up and no reply. So I thought okay, I'll ask again when it's closer to the day I'm going. So I did. Same thing happened of no reply. So I gave up asking him but when I went there I was lost, and needed help so I ended up texting him for help in directions and he never replied and when I hopped on facebook he deleted me without a reason of what I have done to him...

Is it my clingyness? Because even though I may sound clingy whatever plans I make I stick to it till the end and he never gave me an reply for it so I never got a confirmation of meeting up. And I always thought he can't be that stupid to throw away the friendship of 4 years...but clearly he is stupid. And I dont remember doing anything that would offend or get him angry. I always think twice before saying anything even if it's a small joke I think twice before saying it. So any advice for me to get over him and also suggest some reasonable reasons of why he is like this?

Just additional info, we both live in the same country.

 

[Blue Suede]

It was a virtual friendship. He probably never meant to meet up with you (though he may have wanted to, I don't know). But perhaps real life wasn't where he wanted the friendship to go and it was too intimidating so easier to just back away.

You do sound a bit clingy but he probably had other issues going on too. It sucks, but a friendship virtually is different to a 'real life' one and you can't expect to treat them the same way.

 

[kaz1]

did you ever have virtual secks?

 

[WeaselPowa]

Did this happen before or after you added or he added you on facebook?

 

[SylviaB]

 

[raggiedoll]

Virtual relationships in my opinion are the worst if they turn 'romantic' when you haven't started hanging out in real life yet, as you know then and there it will never work out because the person online is often really different in real life, even more so if you guys never skyped each other or had any face-to-face interaction. Your expectations of what the person is like in real life is often not realistic, ending up in a possible 'shock' upon first meeting each other. Forget about him, even though it's hard if you shared so much of your life with him. I know what it's like because I've been there, but it really isn't too hard to get over a person, especially if they're from the virtual world.

 

[Ben1220]

It's weird because there's a girl from NZ who really likes me who I met online and wants to meet up with me and she reminds me a bit like you. It's obvious she thinks about me too much, and while I'm out having fun, getting up to mischief and meeting people she's at home facebook messaging me and getting upset when it takes me too long to respond. You need to meet other people, stop thinking about him, be having more fun than him, stop talking to him. If my NZ girl stopped talking to me for a few weeks and seemed to be having a blast that'd probably make me more interested in her, it's just human nature. We want what we can't have, and when we have it we don't want it anymore.

 

[stickywages]

Dear,
I feel for you. It's often hard to move on when there seems to be no "set" rationale for why the person did something.
Sometimes, the person him/herself doesn't even really know why..
humans do things out of an interaction of many factors, not necessarily 1 reason that's easily pointed out.
Even if he thinks it's 1 reason, it may not be the only thing or the actual reason.
So, rather than trying to find out why, which you may never have an answer,
try the following.
Once you have moved on and love yourself completely,
it would not even matter why he did what he did...anymore.

However, to move on you don't need closure. What's best to do may be: to focus on yourself,
your own happiness in spite of him.
Try to search things in your life that make you, and only you happy - regardless of what he or other people think.
Maybe a hobby, even just watching a funny movie can help you.
Also, try swimming and/or jogging - they give you the feeling of both physically and mentally moving on.

Good luck!

Love