lesbian/gay view on bisexuals (1 Viewer)

azzie

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the weird thing is, i really really like guys. like really really. they are droolworthy.

but sometimes i have phases where i like girls too. maybe its nothing to do with my sexuality. maybe im just moody.
 

Ollz San

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I think most views on bisexuals are influenced by the media.
Most are portrayed as someone who's not willing to be in a monogamous relationship and that they always end up with men anyway.

Most lesbians are probably wary of that.
I mean, everyone knows Angelina Jolie is bi and she's never been with a woman other than Jenny Shimizu and that was ages ago.
Pink is "supposedly" bi.
and a number of others as well.

They just come across as girls who like to play around with lesbians but always return to men in the end.
It just discourages a lot of lesbian; resulting in them getting a bad name in the lesbian community.

If I was in a relationship I don't really care about the other person's sexuality, be it straight or bisexual.
I believe sexuality is fluid and that nothing is absolute.
I identify as a lesbian because I have never found guys attractive, only girls. But, I can't promise you with my life that I would never ever find a man attractive.
 
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azzie said:
the weird thing is, i really really like guys. like really really. they are droolworthy.

but sometimes i have phases where i like girls too. maybe its nothing to do with my sexuality. maybe im just moody.
I remember reading some thing about how all girls are bisexual to an extent. (I don't know its validity though!)
 

Redgoddess

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I personally am a bisexual and am currently involved in a relationship with a lesbian (we've been going out for two months now). I really don't see how bisexuality is an issue - when you love someone you love someone, I'd never leave my girl for another girl, and I'd never leave her for a guy just because they were a guy. I'd have to have an issue in the relationship for it to end. To me cheating is cheating, whether it's with a guy or a girl, and gender doesn't excuse it.

That said, I'm not entirely sure that I am bisexual... I know I like girls, not so sure on the guys front. I had a b/f for 11 months and that went nowhere cos i wasn't really that sexually attracted to him, but whether that was because he was a guy or not a (what I personally find to be) hugely attractive specimen of the gender, I'm not sure. So I'm sticking with bisexual for now... actually, I've kinda gotten over questioning it, I'm with my girl, I don't see/want that changing any time soon, and I just define myself as a person who happens to love a girl. *shrugs* if that makes sense.
 

seeka_train

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Redgoddess said:
I just define myself as a person who happens to love a girl.
Well said. I totally agree with you. I don't understand why it's so necessary to label everything. I hate it when people ask if i'm gay/straight or whatever. How do you answer someone when you don't exactly know. You've all heard the 'oh, you're too young to know if you're gay' speech that's been popularised by TV. Well, it's true. How do you know?

Why label something as pure and beautiful as love?

Isn't it enough to be satisfied and happy?
 

Ollz San

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It's an idealistic view. and I totally agree with it.

It's just that for some people, belonging to a certain group/label give them a sense of security or just the feeling of knowing who you are and who you identify with.
 

Redgoddess

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purplefruitloop said:
personally, i have no problem with bisexuals but i do not think i'd date one.
also, i guess it really depends on the person.
if they feel comfortable sitting on the fence well good for them but then again, it would suck if they turn out being greedy and happen to be bisexual merely because they have easy access to both sexes.
bi-curious in the other hand well, i do not have a problem if they are in the 'intransition phase' as in, finding out if they are gay but if they are plain 'ol bi-curious/tri sexuals well i think thats stupid merely because they could literally hurt the person who they are with. they are practically using the person and that is not nice! if they happen to be trisexuals/bi-curious in need of a fuck, they can just find a fuckbuddy who also, does not intend to pursure relationships but only a fuck. eeeeeek! sorry for the over use of the word 'fuck' lol. my apologises for people who may be offended.
I'm just a bit curious - who out there would refuse to pursue a relationship with someone they really liked just because they were bisexual? I mean, I can understand your concerns in terms of being used just for a fuck rather than engaging on an emotional level, but doesn't it all really come down to communication? I mean, if one of you is in the rlnship with the desire for an emotional commitment, and one of you just wants sex, then that's gonna be messy and hurtful regardless of whether the parties involved are both lesbians, both gay men, lesbian and bisexual, or a straight relationship. I guess my point here is - if you'd discussed emotional involvement with a bisexual, they really liked you, you really liked them, and they had indicated they wanted a meaningful relationship not just a fuck, would you refuse to date them cos they were bi? I'd be pretty sad if my g/f had had that attitude...

I definitely agree that saying/giving the impression you want an emotional relationship and then using a girl just for sex and experimentation is completely wrong.

"as for bisexuals i have mixed emotions because they always turn out to be more pro one gender then the other when it comes to crunch time"

You can be more pro one gender than the other and still be bisexual, being bisexual just means you're attracted to both and (in my opinion) would be willing to engage in a relationship with both. You can lean more one way than the other, but the fact is if you still like both then you're bi. That's what I reckon anyway...
 

yy

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Mrs.McDreamy said:
I've decided to become gender queer. Who the hell needs to take gender into consideration when deciding whether you like someone or not? Who the hell cares what gender they are, everyone is different anyway, so why not look at them as an individual rather than male/female. I have had a tendancy to kiss girls in the past (although its never actually had anything to do with attraction..), so just because i dont particularly want a relationship with anyone at the moment, whos to say in the future whether i might like someone who happens to be female? Never say never.
So to answer to your question (which i havent at all yet o_O), if they are confused about sexual orientation, and you aren't, steer clear. They are probably more effort than they are worth. But bisexuals arent necessarily bad, like me... the recently (about 10 seconds ago) proclaimed gender queer!
123, i agree completely!
 

jest

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i like bisexuals... i think they're one of the most honest people (and they're not entirely picky)... i'd date one but i'll be honest, there's always that feeling that if she leaves you for a guy, then you might wonder whether you were good enough or not... but then again, that pretty much happens in all relationships
 

robo-andie

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Damn right we are greedy!!
I never want to have to be exclusively attracted to one sex, it limits me incredibly!
I like to be able to love whoever I want - guy or girl.

When I was a huge fag, I remember that I liked bisexuals, there was something about their sexual freedom which moved me. It's like the ultimate in human sexuality, a completely uninhibited state of sexual freedom.
 

Wolfowitz

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robo-andie said:
Damn right we are greedy!!
I never want to have to be exclusively attracted to one sex, it limits me incredibly!
I like to be able to love whoever I want - guy or girl.

When I was a huge fag, I remember that I liked bisexuals, there was something about their sexual freedom which moved me. It's like the ultimate in human sexuality, a completely uninhibited state of sexual freedom.
Word up.
Let's make out.

But I was reading 'Homosexuality' by some knobhole and he said homosexuality was more about filling a hole. Not a physical one but an emotional void. It could be a want for attention, sex, love, whatever. But bisexuals are the questers. Those willing to go the extra mile for what they believe in and I hold it true.

Whilst there were some pretty fucked up stories in the book about brothers sleeping with eachother after they didn't go far enough with their girlfriends, bisexuality is also mostly about finding a balance between masculinity and feminity. Most bisexual dress exhibits this balance. It borrows from both orders and melds. However with that said, a girl who is particularly masculine tends to seek femininity in women and masculinity in men. Vice versa for men.

Bisexuals also tend to be more probing and intellectual. Not necessarily smarter, but through their curiosity they'll be sexually insatiable and very well spoken - e.g. Me, robo-andie ;)

As a word of warning to all future open bisexuals, can I tell you not to be cocky about your sexuality. Don't insult others over their more formal homosexual (one sex only) choice. That'll lead more and more people to think you're a whore, untrustworthy and - worst of all - incapable of loving.

P.S

azzie said:
the weird thing is, i really really like guys. like really really. they are droolworthy.

but sometimes i have phases where i like girls too. maybe its nothing to do with my sexuality. maybe im just moody.
75% of people exhibit some form of bisexual behaviour. However 95% of sexual lifestyles are determined by the person's environment and choice. In other words, just because you like women doesn't mean you'll want to secks them. <3
 
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robo-andie

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Wolfowitz said:
Bisexuals also tend to be more probing and intellectual. Not necessarily smarter, but through their curiosity they'll be sexually insatiable and very well spoken - e.g. Me, robo-andie ;)
Nicely said, indeed! :rofl:
 

Wolfowitz

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lemeray said:
They all turn out to pick a side, eventually.
Not really.
In this book there's plenty of stories of swingers clubs and prostitutes for marital intercourse.
Bisexuality isn't a phase that you can grow out of.
 

giggleite

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I agree with the whole labelling yourself thing. I'm currently seeing a guy, and have only ever been sexually attracted to guys (despite the whole 'she's hot thing which is completely normal even with the straightest of straight) and have always considered myself straight. Never kissed a girl, never even considered it.

However if i met a girl who i had the major emotional connection with, then I wouldn't rule out a relationship with them. I guess you cant help who you fall for (and falling i mean in the emotional, intellectual sense) and if they happen to be the same sex, then so be it. I mean I think if it happened to me i dont think i would even be able to consider myself BI it;s just at that particular stage i like a girl. if that girl was in a guys body, id like him. I dont really know.

I find it funny how some people may go out with someone they aren't attracted to so they are with them for their personality etc yet would still say they are exclusively straight. Well if they arent attractive that would mean you could be with them in the form of another gender right?

Ok ive only recently started to think about this and i'm trying to convince myself that this is possible. So it probably makes no sense.
 

sarebear4eva

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giggleite said:
I agree with the whole labelling yourself thing. I'm currently seeing a guy, and have only ever been sexually attracted to guys (despite the whole 'she's hot thing which is completely normal even with the straightest of straight) and have always considered myself straight. Never kissed a girl, never even considered it.

However if i met a girl who i had the major emotional connection with, then I wouldn't rule out a relationship with them. I guess you cant help who you fall for (and falling i mean in the emotional, intellectual sense) and if they happen to be the same sex, then so be it. I mean I think if it happened to me i dont think i would even be able to consider myself BI it;s just at that particular stage i like a girl. if that girl was in a guys body, id like him. I dont really know.

I find it funny how some people may go out with someone they aren't attracted to so they are with them for their personality etc yet would still say they are exclusively straight. Well if they arent attractive that would mean you could be with them in the form of another gender right?

Ok ive only recently started to think about this and i'm trying to convince myself that this is possible. So it probably makes no sense.

ya it makes sense.. :)
 

Redgoddess

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I agree with giggleite about the personality thing, it think the thing is that if you're gay you're not actually really sexually attracted to the opposite sex. like you'll acknowledge that they're hot or whatever, you might even love them in a way, but you'll kiss them and there'll just be no spark there...that's what i found anyway. i used to say i was bi, i think i'm actually gay, but since i've only recently come out as bi to my friends (like a couple of months ago) i'll leave it as that; plus i'm not 100% sure - if some guy came along and i had feelings for him i'd go for it, but i generally prefer girls...i've actually got a crush on one of my straight best friends now...it sucks soo much. having crushes on friends just isnt cool.
 

sarebear4eva

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Redgoddess said:
...i've actually got a crush on one of my straight best friends now...it sucks soo much. having crushes on friends just isnt cool.
yes me too..... well i just work with her.. but shes a friend, and she knows i like her, its really hard seein her i can tell ya... actually all the girls ive ever liked are straight or with someone.. oh well
 

Redgoddess

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I dunno, I guess this way at least I don't have to go through all the "does she like me? should i risk the friendship to tell her how i feel?" stuff...it's just "i like her, she's never going to like me, this sux. hurry up and get over her, stupid feelings".

Seriously though I don't know any lesbians in my area so it's hard to meet people and like people that will like me back. I'm hoping it'll be better at uni.
 

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