my essay... (1 Viewer)

kieransgirl

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Moreover, the ideologies presented in the play, Educating Rita by Willy
Russel, are quiet similar to the ideologies presented by In The Park
(in what way? you have to link it here...maybe say "The ideologies of In the Park being decisions result in change are reflected in the play Educating Rita..." In the play Frank
and Rita are two central characters, who change as a result of their relationship. (this bit could then be changed to "specifically the central characters Frank and Rita change as a result of their relationship
 

kieransgirl

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Upon
the onset of the play, responders see that they both suffer from some sort of a
dilemma; Frank being a washed-out, alcoholic university lecturer, while Rita being an
uneducated hairdresser desperate for more substance in life.

gramatical error ("while rita is" not "while rita being"
 

kieransgirl

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Both, characters benefit
tremendously from their changes. However Rita had to make great sacrifices on her
part (like the women in In the Park) for this change to occur. This includes
divorcing her husband who disliked the changed Rita.

i think it would be better as "whilst both characters benefit tremendously from their changes, sacrifices had to be made of ritas part for it to happen." An example of this in the play is how she must divorce her husband as he cannot accept her change in self.
 

kieransgirl

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wow it seems like im picking on everything but dont worry ur essay is really good im just trying to make it as good as possible
 

freaking_out

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Originally posted by kieransgirl
wow it seems like im picking on everything but dont worry ur essay is really good im just trying to make it as good as possible
yeah, keep going, i need to tweak it that why i posted it up. :)
 

kieransgirl

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hes wonderin where the girl
he married has gone toshes gone, and Ive taken her place. The metaphor here
conveys Ritas changing self.

ok there i would have said "ritas change in self is reinforced by the metaphor......"

Moreover, (nooo u sed that already! maybe futhermore...In conjunction to this....)

the play only ever shows two characters-
Frank and Rita-which effectively helps us to empathise with the characters (how?) as it does not cloud us with other interpretations of their relationship...as we get to know them better...you have to state how
 

kieransgirl

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The
dramatic irony here further reinforces the fact that he is still a child.

The dramatic irony here reinforces his childhood innocence

Distraught by
this, the boy runs towards the source of remaining comfort, but this was a torturous
decision in itself for the boy, as his parents bedroom is seen as the last clearing that
he dared not cross.

what i get from that when i did glass jar was that it represented a barrier between childhood and adulthood that he was scared to enter

This symbolises his transition from childhood to adolescence as a
painful one.
 

kieransgirl

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The boys world has changed and he has
changed with it.

This is a bit simplistic....maybe "the boys understanding of the world changed and with that he matured..." i dunno i dont know this that well
 

kieransgirl

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ok i can do this coz im an art student lol. one u have to name the name of the pic/cartoon.

Similarly, in the cartoon by Leunig (The Sydney Morning Herald-
spectrum magazine-November 10-11, 2001) it is also through experience that the
character in the picture changes. The text is divided into six frames. In the first three
frames, we see a human-like creature hatching out of an egg. The creature looks
happy and optimistic when he gets out of the room he leaves with an upright posture.
The third-last frame consists of just the eggshell and the opened door-indicating the
passing of time as the creature is experiencing life. The creature then returns with a
frown and looking down at the same time. He is a changed person, completely in
contrast with the joyful, innocent person who left the room at the start. The last frame
is similar to the first frame, except that this egg is not unhatched; rather it is an egg
with patches and tapes all over it; which shows that the character has attempted to
undo his change. This shows us how change is irreversible, because even if one
tries to undo their change, they will always have with them the scars of change.
Hence, Leunig is reinforcing the notion that change is a direct consequence of us
experiencing life as well as seeking self knowledge.

thats very good. i mite mention something about however bad the effects of change are, change is inevitable
 

kieransgirl

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The Door is a poem by Miroslav Holub that urges the reader to go and
open the door. The door can be interpreted as a metaphor for the mind and heart.
That is to allow change.

i disagree sorry. well kinda anyway. i think it is saying u have to be open to change. i dont think u should say the heart and mind bit.

"the door is a poem by ..... which discusses how you must be open to change. The door within the poem is a metaphor for the openess of change" i dunno about that but the heart and mind thing doesnt sound right
 

kieransgirl

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The order to open the door is juxtaposed with
the word maybe which provides the responder with a number of possibilities which
progress from simple entities such as a tree to more complex ones a wood to
more creative things a garden to a fantasy world, a magic city.
this is a bit confusing.....
"the order to open the door....the word maybe and opens the viewer to what might be waiting for them. The use of simplistic everyday things such as a tree allows the viewer to understand that the change may be small. this is contrasted with magical kingdoms (or whatever) to show that the change might be rewarding or interesting and that there are many different types of changes waiting for us if we are open to them. this is further highlighted by the choice of a fog/ it will clear. it is showing that there bad changes but you have to accept them in order to grow
obviously u will word it better than i did
 

kieransgirl

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From the start of the song, a slow, thumping beat can be heard,
symbolising the babys growing heart beat, and as the song progresses, the music
becomes increasingly powerful and dynamic, conveying the personas increasing
confidence and determination to clear the fog. Thereby, with arms wide open
effectively deals with embracing change as an imperative for the obvious positive
benefits it will bring.

hmmmm the small heart beat could also be the reluctness (however you spell it) of the man to accept change and as he grows more used to the idea of a baby he accepts it.

but that one was well written
 

kieransgirl

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trials

wow shit sorry i got carried away
for trials on change i got 87% i got 14/15 for the essay or was it 19/20....anyway i only lost a mark
but iv been studying about 5/6 hrs a day on english for the last 5 days so i should be getting better :)
 

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Originally posted by kieransgirl
wow shit sorry i got carried away
for trials on change i got 87% i got 14/15 for the essay or was it 19/20....anyway i only lost a mark
but iv been studying about 5/6 hrs a day on english for the last 5 days so i should be getting better :)
thats, cool...thanx for ya suggestions, and good luck with getting that "one extra mark". :D
 

kieransgirl

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oh yea and with ur conclusion i would say

in conclusion change is an elusive concept with many different catalysts and results. the change within in the park is a negative one, where the women is unhappy with where her decisions have taken her. similarly the play shows that sometimes some sacrifices must be made in life so that you can develope and grow. Sometimes change is overwhelming, frightening and unwanted as shown in both the glass jar and the cartoon but as shown in the door and the song that when you embrace change there will be mayn rewards
 

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i just skimmed it, here are some things i picked i would change

"Her children, in the park, whine and bicker. The onomatopoeia here"
maube "as can be seen by this quote, onomatopoeia is used to ..."

"The symbolism here highlights Ritas influence of Frank."
say what the symbolism is. was it wind or something? i can't remember. and what the effect of it is.

leuing looks good

"Thus Holub constantly orders the
responders to go and open the door."
the imperative (order/command) 'go' orders / urges / .. the responders to "go and .."

with arms wide open looks good

yeah, that was just from looking quickly.
 

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