Rules for Customers (1 Viewer)

Katie123

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i could have banned children from disney on ice on the 4 days i worked there !ahhhhhhhhh frustrating creatures...actually their parents were a lot more frustrating, come to think of it!
 

*hopeful*

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when you come to the bank

-don't be a pig and rush up to my counter, wait till i say may i help you (you pig)
-if you want to withdraw money, show me your id. are you stupid? of course i need to verify who you are and no your keycard isn't enough
-i don't give two shits about whether you've been coming to this branch for 50 years, i wasn't here 50 years ago so show me your id you old bag
-yes we can run out of certain denominations because your not the only customer we serve, if you want 10grand in all 100 notes make an order you idiot

i cannot stand working with customers
 
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selurkcin

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for a gym:

- for the love of god wipe the sweat from your machines after you have finished working out you fat, dirty whores.
- if you manage to bend the exercise balls out of shape due to your sheer weight, please let someone know so as the next person who decides to use it doesn't get snapped.
- pick the weights up and put them back on the shelves after you have finished.
- and NO, personal training is not inlcuded in your $10 entry fee or monthly membership.
 

*Minka*

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Thankfully I was still in Europe for the Thursday Morning of Targets toy sale (I left about 4am Friday Aussie time) and missed that fucking shit. But if I was there, I am sure I could have compiled a 4 page rant on why people fucking suck.
 

Lori.

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I know this doesn't really belong here, but i am in desperate need to bitch about a customer from yesterday. She was extremely evil and rude and i can't get over her. I so regret not having thrown something at her
She came up to my counter and wanted two tickets to jindabyne:

Evil Woman: Two tickets to Jindabyne, please
Me: Ok, now this session is filling up, so there's only the front section left...*Evil Woman interrupts me*
Evil Woman: *makes evil face in vain hope that this will magically make better seats available* Well that's just great *Sarcasm* because i have an eye condition, so that just won't work for me, will it?
Me: Well, you can have seats either in the fourth row in the middle or the sixth row on the side...
*Evil woman turn away and ignores me completely as i try to explain her all her options*
Suddenly, Evil woman turns her head back to me really quickly, like something you would expect an alien to do in a horror movie. I'm petrified by the evil this women exudes.
Evil Woman: Well, then, how far away is the fourth row from the front?
Me: Well, it's the fourth row ... from the screen.
Evil, NO! *Evil woman raises voice in a patronizing way* I mean from here to where?
Me: uhhh..well..
Evil woman once again turns away from me as if i am not answering her completely ridiculous question fast enough and asks her daughter the exact same question. Poor daughter tries to guesstimate the distance between the fourth row and the screen. So silly.
Evil Woman: Well? *Looks at name badge* Gloria, you work here, why can't you tell me how far away the screen is?
Me: *Not the architect, who designed the cinema* From here to there, maybe? *Completely gobsmacked by this evil woman patronizing me while asking completely dumb questions*
Me: *finally trying to take control of this conversation* Look, what you can do is get your tickets and go in and have a look for yourself...
Evil Woman: *again interrupting and raising voice to extremely uncomfortable level* and then what? Can i get a refund?
Me: *All sorts of rude remarks are floating around in my head, but completely controlling my anger* Yes, you can.
Evil Woman still eyes me very rudely and is exuding the stench of 'bitch'.
Me: *Almost bursting of anger, but thankfully not so much that i want to throw a drink at her* Look, ma'am, i do have people waiting, why don't you just get the tickets and go in and have a look...*In a split second, realising i am dead meat dangling in front of starved lion*
Evil Woman: EXCUUUUUUSE ME! GLORIA, i am trying to decide here, GLORIA! you should at least give me my three minutes with you, GLORIA!


Everything after that is a complete blur. Stupid Bitch of an evil customer. The rest of the night i hoped that she would just come back to me and complain and then i'd just smile at her and ask her how the movie was and wish her a good night, so that she'd explode at my denying to give her what she wants so that she would throw something at me or try to hit me so that i could have her arrested for assault and then who's laughing?!??!!? HUH???!!?!! muahhahahahha!
 

scarybunny

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God I hate evil people like that. Is it too much to ask that people are decent human beings? As if expect a movie person to know the distance between the 4th row and the screen.

Rules for all customers-
Just be nice. You had a minimum wage job too, once, so treat us the way you would have liked to be treated. Being a bitch is not going to get you served any faster or better. Quite the opposite.
 

*Minka*

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That reminds me why I refuse to wear my name badge anymore. So sick of putting up with evil bitches being all 'Ex-cuse me MI-RO-SLAAAAVE-VAHH'. You don't even Pronounce it right bitches.
 

Lori.

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The thing is, we have to wear our badges in case we have a mysteryshopper. They also have new ones on order which have our last name on them as well. I'm so refusing to wear that! next thing, we're all going to have stalkers! especially people like me who share their last name with no other person in the country
 
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GJV said:
I know this doesn't really belong here, but i am in desperate need to bitch about a customer from yesterday. She was extremely evil and rude and i can't get over her. I so regret not having thrown something at her
She came up to my counter and wanted two tickets to jindabyne:

Evil Woman: Two tickets to Jindabyne, please
Me: Ok, now this session is filling up, so there's only the front section left...*Evil Woman interrupts me*
Evil Woman: *makes evil face in vain hope that this will magically make better seats available* Well that's just great *Sarcasm* because i have an eye condition, so that just won't work for me, will it?
Me: Well, you can have seats either in the fourth row in the middle or the sixth row on the side...
*Evil woman turn away and ignores me completely as i try to explain her all her options*
Suddenly, Evil woman turns her head back to me really quickly, like something you would expect an alien to do in a horror movie. I'm petrified by the evil this women exudes.
Evil Woman: Well, then, how far away is the fourth row from the front?
Me: Well, it's the fourth row ... from the screen.
Evil, NO! *Evil woman raises voice in a patronizing way* I mean from here to where?
Me: uhhh..well..
Evil woman once again turns away from me as if i am not answering her completely ridiculous question fast enough and asks her daughter the exact same question. Poor daughter tries to guesstimate the distance between the fourth row and the screen. So silly.
Evil Woman: Well? *Looks at name badge* Gloria, you work here, why can't you tell me how far away the screen is?
Me: *Not the architect, who designed the cinema* From here to there, maybe? *Completely gobsmacked by this evil woman patronizing me while asking completely dumb questions*
Me: *finally trying to take control of this conversation* Look, what you can do is get your tickets and go in and have a look for yourself...
Evil Woman: *again interrupting and raising voice to extremely uncomfortable level* and then what? Can i get a refund?
Me: *All sorts of rude remarks are floating around in my head, but completely controlling my anger* Yes, you can.
Evil Woman still eyes me very rudely and is exuding the stench of 'bitch'.
Me: *Almost bursting of anger, but thankfully not so much that i want to throw a drink at her* Look, ma'am, i do have people waiting, why don't you just get the tickets and go in and have a look...*In a split second, realising i am dead meat dangling in front of starved lion*
Evil Woman: EXCUUUUUUSE ME! GLORIA, i am trying to decide here, GLORIA! you should at least give me my three minutes with you, GLORIA!


Everything after that is a complete blur. Stupid Bitch of an evil customer. The rest of the night i hoped that she would just come back to me and complain and then i'd just smile at her and ask her how the movie was and wish her a good night, so that she'd explode at my denying to give her what she wants so that she would throw something at me or try to hit me so that i could have her arrested for assault and then who's laughing?!??!!? HUH???!!?!! muahhahahahha!
I HATE THOSE CUSTOMERS! We shouldn't be asked to estimate accurately based on our memory. Sometimes, when it's busy like that you feel like just yelling out "next!" and start serving the next person. If she didn't want the tickets then someone else probably would. I also hate the following situation:

Me (serving tickets): "where would you like to sit?"
Customer (usually old men or dickhead teenagers): in a seat kekekekekeke
Me (not smiling): Where abouts...
Customer: in a cinema. kekekekekeke.
Me (snapping): FRONT MIDDLE OR BACK!
It's not like i haven't heard those responses about a ZILLION times before you dickheads! get something original and stop wasting my damn time.

Some people just shouldn't go to the movies. I've noticed at my work (especially in school holidays) that some people are just so flustered before they even get to the cinema. They've either been rushing to make the movie on time, their kids have been naughty or the traffic has been bad etc so they take out all their frustration on the first person they see - me at the ticket counter. When they can't get the seats that they wanted because it's the middle of the stupid school holidays, it's $7 day and the movie starts in 5 mins, they either leave or get them anyway and, by that stage, are still angry so they start having a go at the person at the candybar.
People just need to take a deep breath and put on a smile before they go into a cinema. Maybe it would help them to realise that everything they're whining about isn't really that important. It would do them and us a world of good.
 

*Minka*

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GJV said:
The thing is, we have to wear our badges in case we have a mysteryshopper. They also have new ones on order which have our last name on them as well. I'm so refusing to wear that! next thing, we're all going to have stalkers! especially people like me who share their last name with no other person in the country
Oh we have to as well, I just don't. As for ones with a last name on, there is no way in fucking HELL I'd wear that - especially as I have a very Distinctive (Croatian/Serbian) last name and there wouldn't be many of us around with it. Ugh. Fuck that shit. I'd go as far to call it s safety concern.
 

townie

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Phrases i never want to hear again

-Savings! Should be called spendings!
-Sorry, i left my green bag in the car
-Haha, you dont need to see *my* ID do u (from old lady/man)
-whats on special?
-oh, is it for free, haha (when an item wont scan)
-can i pay at the other checkouts? (no, it's against the law)
 

thejosiekiller

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townie said:
Phrases i never want to hear again

-Savings! Should be called spendings!
-Sorry, i left my green bag in the car
-Haha, you dont need to see *my* ID do u (from old lady/man)
-whats on special?
-oh, is it for free, haha (when an item wont scan)
-can i pay at the other checkouts? (no, it's against the law)
hahah oh dear lord yes!

and

-oh i left my ID in the car
-is it 10% off wine (when its says it everywhere in the store)
-how much is it? (when theyre looking directly at the pricing ticket!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
-oh can i have 10% off these bottles of wine because you only have 4 bottles of what i want... (how about NO!)
 

M-turkey

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When You go into my supermarket please dont:

- Open shit, walk around eating some of it and then just dump it back on the shelf.

- If you've picked something thats supposed to be kept cold (milk, meat etc.) and dont want it anymore, don't just dump it on the shelf. It will go warm and we'll have to throw it out..
- If there's no stock on the shelf, you can be pretty certain its not out the back either. (why would it be if its empty?)
- Expect someone thats filling Groceries such as Pet Food to know which Wine is good (ask the people filling the wine...)

And although it may seem the case, a supermarket isnt always a great place to get cardboard boxes. Almost all of the time they get broken up. If you want some, ask us a day or so before hand...
 

turtleface

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Yes the supermarket ones are spot on.

For Safeway/Woolworths Produce:

1. FUCK if you eat the freaking cherries don't spit the stones. I probably pick up about 20 f'ing cherry stones every shift, all saliva covered and shit. One bitch ate a cherry whilst talking to me and dumped the stone onto some bananas whilst I was there. I should have picked it up and stuck it up her rectum.

2. Also there are dicks who come in and pick grapes off the vine as a daily ritual, never buying any, and destroying the product for others

3. After I spend about an hour sorting all the Fresh Salad/Fresh cut packs into product order, and display them nicely on the rack, some dicks just rifle through the whole lot of them and it ends up looking like a bomb hit it, chucking the packs all over the place, on the floor etc, trying to find the freshest one. To add insult, they never buy it anyway.
 

*Minka*

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Accept that the computer will not allow me to give you $37.29 cash out so it is 100.00. It will not let me do an amount that does not end in 0 or 5 so I have to make it $37.30. Yelling at me, snatching things from me and glaring at me will not get you anywhere. And after you snatch something from a 15 year old girl on her first day, I will be inclined to pack your bag in a way that is difficult to carry, tell you to swipe your own card and and so nothing by shrug at you.
 
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- when im making you a sandwhich and you ask for the 'roast beef wrap special', then i will continue to make it exactly as specified on the special board. if you dont want tomato, tell me. dont act all horrified and be all 'i didnt WANT the tomato' after i've put it on... you should have told me before. duh! im not a mind reader.

- if you want chunks of roast beef or pork to take home to your family, go to a butcher and cook it urself. if you want to buy roast beef from us, you will get a 100g serving and pay the set amount for that 100g. if you want more...you pay more. its that simple. we make sandwhiches, not sell cooked meat. oh... and you certainly cant buy the whole roast. we need it so we can sell 100g servings on sandwhiches. duh!

- dont glare at me like i set the prices for the water. i dont agree with it either. but the prices in our computer were set by our head office and coke. all i do is push the water button if you want water. i cant change the prices. if you're that cheap, go drink from a tap somewhere.
 

schnapp

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Here are some rules for customers when they come through checkouts at a Coles.

1. If I ask for Fly Buys don't tell me that you don't have wings and proceed to flap your arms like a wanker. Your NOT funny!

2. If I ask for Fly Buys and you don't have them, DO NOT tell me they are a rip off, and that nobody ever gets anything - they do!

3. Tell me that you have green bags BEFORE I start packing in plastic. Don't then expect me to unpack the goods in plastic and re-pack them into your bags. It holds you and the next customer up, and it shits me.

4. If I ask for ID when you use your credit card, don't grumble to me. If you fuking signed your card and the slip correctly I wouldn't need to.

5. If you want to purchase cigarettes and I ask for ID just show me - don't grumble you douch bags. I'm not risking a fine for any of you fuckers.

6. If I ask for ID and you are underage, don't give me crap that its in your car and that you'll be back in a minute. Just say you don't have any and leave.

7. NO, we don't have a small bag, its one size fits all. Anyway, why do you want a bag for your fuckin Coke, when your going to drink it when you leave the store anyway.

8. If you want a refund on a product, just give me a SHORT one sentence response. I don't need to know that there was a blackout at your house and your torch batteries went flat last night. Your husband left for work early so you didn't get a chance to tell him that you would get batteries, so both you and he bought batteries. All you need to say is that it isn't required!

9. Check what mother fuckin light bulb base you need. DON'T buy a screw in one, then come back the next day and get all upset because YOU bought the wrong one.

10. Don't tell me that you checked your eggs, because chances are you didn't.

11. Don't tell me how to handle your bread. I know how. And FYI bread isn't going to self distruct if my fingers are one micron over from when you wanted me to place then on your fuckin loaf.

12. Just because you can read my name badge doesn't mean that you know me.

13. And don't ask me if I like my name, my name is Peter, its hardly unique.

14. For Christ's sake WAIT until the pinpad says "Swipe / Insert Card". Don't swipe it ten times then give me a dirty look when it doesn't work.

15. Just because you have to wait a minute at the cigarette kiosk is no reason to get all shitty. It's not like you actually have a life.

16. If I ask you for a plastic bag, give me a quick answer. Don't say, "Yeah OK,... no wait, no I don't think so... no wait, I better have one."

17. If you accept a plastic bag I DO NOT want to know that you reuse it. I really don't care.

18. Don't come through my checkout all dressed up in your running / walking gear, and then tell me that you left your bags in the car. FUCKING GET THEM YOU LAZY COCKSUCKING SHITHEADS.

19. Breadcrumbs are down aisle five, halfway down, left hand side, bottom shelf. And don't tell me you looked there, because you didn't or else you would have seen them.

20. Don't try to pick up a conversation that we had last week - I serve hundreds of customers a week so I don't remember, and trust me you're no more special that anybody else.

21. There are dividers on checkouts for a reason. Don't:
a. lean right over and stick your arm on the belt where your things begin.
b. shout out 'UH, UH, UH!!!!' and pointing if I start scanning your things with the previous order. Use the fukin divider next time fukwit.
c. watch me scan the next customers goods with your order for a good minute, then tell me they are not yours.

22. DO NOT come it 20 minutes after we have closed and tell me that you only "want to get one thing". You WON'T be let in... unless Athina is standing guard by the door.

23. Don't lick your fingers then touch the money, money is digusting enough without your wet saliva on it.

24. Keep a record of how much is left on your gift card, because it shits me off when you don't know.

25. When I go, "Hi, how are you?" your response should be "good thanks, and you", NOT:
a. not good, I just lost my job.
b. Sad, I just came from a funeral.
c. I have bags.
d. The bread is one dollar.

26. Yes, I can see the bread has been reduced. There is no need to make grunting noises while pointing at it. I'm not blind.

27. If I ask for Fly Buys don't tell me that you've got them but theres no point in using them because you never get anywhere - HELLO?!?!?!?! If you don't use your card then of course you won't get anywhere mother fuckers.

28. No, I am not greek.

29. Teenage guys: don't try to hide your condom purchases amongst other items because I always make sure that they stay on the belt for a minute after I have scanned them to cause embarrassment to you.

30. I don't care if the price of cigarettes went up by 20 cents over night. Go somewhere else, or STOP SMOKING.

31. Don't ask me the price of each item. Do you see that big glowing screen in front of you. It actually tells you what I have scanned and the prices.

32. When shopping with your mother, I don't fucking care who pays. Make up your fucking mind, and don't both of you push money in my face... its RUDE!

33. Don't tell me that you have been waiting in the express queue for five minutes to purchase one item... and yet you still don't have your money ready.

34. When swiping your cards, please be careful so as not to take out my eye.

35. Shut you're kids up... I swear or else I am going to shove a fuckin divider into their eye and give them something to really cry about.

36. YOU'RE NOT FUNNY
 

Lori.

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Oh, the hatred LOL ^

Last weekend I had this old guy who came up to the Candy Bar with his kid, I asked him 'Hi, how are you?' and the guy said 'Hello gorgeous, how are you??' May I remind he was oolllddd [and apparently very dirty].

I hate disgusting customers. He probably thought it was funny, BUT IT REALLY AINT FUNNY!
 

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