Sex Before Marriage (1 Viewer)

[fake_mcdickpant]

I think the most often time that this situation occurs is when the person who isn't a virgin decides that they don't want that lifestyle anymore and decide to wait from then until marriage before they sleep with anyone else. In this case the moral values of both the virgin and the promiscous one match up and they are able to fall in love.

Why is someone instantly promiscous because they arent a virgin anymore.
You need to chose your words more carefully.

 

[SweetSeasons]

No. Sex is fantastic and different with every person I've done it with, something you can't possibly understand. In fact, it's been more fantastic with every person I've been with.


Edit: For BradCube's enjoyment.

fuck now i really want another bf so i can have sex again, lol. DAMN YOU

 

[fake_mcdickpant]

fuck now i really want another bf so i can have sex again, lol. DAMN YOU

a/s/l?
[comment]ugfdhgfkgkf[/comment]

 

[Josie]

fuck now i really want another bf so i can have sex again, lol. DAMN YOU

Hahahah sorry.

 

[SweetSeasons]

a/s/l?
[comment]ugfdhgfkgkf[/comment]

lmao

 

[sparkl3z]

why say "iam saving sex for marriage" when you can say " iam saving sex for love" because then there really is a special connection. Loving someone isnt contingent on marrying them, i am sure there will be people you will love, girlfriends and what not before you find the girl you marry, what makes them worth less? just because you didnt marry them?]

i don't believe you can love 10 guys, sure you can say it, but that feeling is only there for one person in my entire lifetime, the one that i will marry, imo, hypothetically, say you have an ex girlfriend, and now you're getting married, why didnt you marry the ex girl then if you loved her? to me, that's not love, that's just what you THOUGHT was love, otherwise they guy wouldve married her instead.

 

[- Messiah -]

i woudnt marry a guy who's had sex with another girl either.

what if he's had sex with another man... or a piece of fruit???

Surley there is a differance between a living breathing person and an inanimate object such as a piece of fruit?

A guy that has sex with another man, or a piece of fruit for that matter has issues.

 

[fake_mcdickpant]

i don't believe you can love 10 guys, sure you can say it, but that feeling is only there for one person in my entire lifetime, the one that i will marry, imo, hypothetically, say you have an ex girlfriend, and now you're getting married, why didnt you marry the ex girl then if you loved her? to me, that's not love, that's just what you THOUGHT was love, otherwise they guy wouldve married her instead.

Because situations can change due to unforseen circumstances.

 

[SweetSeasons]

A guy that has sex with another man, or a piece of fruit for that matter has issues.

just because it doesn't float your boat doesn't mean it's wrong for others...

 

[- Messiah -]

i don't believe you can love 10 guys, sure you can say it, but that feeling is only there for one person in my entire lifetime, the one that i will marry, imo, hypothetically, say you have an ex girlfriend, and now you're getting married, why didnt you marry the ex girl then if you loved her? to me, that's not love, that's just what you THOUGHT was love, otherwise they guy wouldve married her instead.

Well said.

 

[SweetSeasons]

I planned to marry my ex, we talked about it.. he even wanted to go to the registry and do it like the day after homebake.

You can love in different ways at different times and share love with different people. Just because you don't want to marry them doesn't mean you don't love them.

 

[- Messiah -]

just because it doesn't float your boat doesn't mean it's wrong for others...

I wouldnt be in a relationship with someone I knew that has same gender sex. Whats stopping that person later on in life of doing the same thing...or realising, gee darling, ive made a mistake...im gay.

 

[SweetSeasons]

I wouldnt be in a relationship with someone I knew that has same gender sex. Whats stopping that person later on in life of doing the same thing...or realising, gee darling, ive made a mistake...im gay.

Maybe they are bi-sexual.

just because some ones had sex with someone else doesn't mean they would love you any different... seems to me that you don't really know what love is because love is unconditional

 

[Josie]

i don't believe you can love 10 guys, sure you can say it, but that feeling is only there for one person in my entire lifetime, the one that i will marry, imo, hypothetically, say you have an ex girlfriend, and now you're getting married, why didnt you marry the ex girl then if you loved her? to me, that's not love, that's just what you THOUGHT was love, otherwise they guy wouldve married her instead.

No. How do you know the person you marry will be the only one you will ever love? What if you just THOUGHT you loved them, to use your own words. Marriage is NOT proof of love.

 

[fake_mcdickpant]

What if you were married, and your spouse died, and eventually you married somone who's spouse had also died.
Neither of you would be virgins, so what would you do?
Never have another relationship again?

 

[sparkl3z]

dude, different people are different, but, i only get married once, if he dies, then i'm not getting married again, theres no such thing as a divorce in my life, although if it happened, i wouldnt get married again. i only give my heart to one person, that's all my heart can handle, that's why i'm not getting married straightaway, or giving my body to anybody.

 

[fake_mcdickpant]

I don't see the point of limiting yourself.
To employ a tired cliche, you only live once.

 

[Josie]

dude, different people are different, but, i only get married once, if he dies, then i'm not getting married again, theres no such thing as a divorce in my life, although if it happened, i wouldnt get married again. i only give my heart to one person, that's all my heart can handle, that's why i'm not getting married straightaway, or giving my body to anybody.

How on Earth can you know? You can't. Limiting yourself like that is only going to cause heartache.

 

[sparkl3z]

better to have one heartache than 10 million hearaches.

 

[BradCube]

Well I know for sure I have the controversial thing going on now .It makes me think out logically my reasoning behind all of this, so in that regard thanks guys (and gals)

What i was trying to do was point out that just because you are saving something good, doesnt necessarily make it better later, and why stop at only saving sex?

to me, the first kiss is pretty damned important, why not make the first kiss at the altar?

The reason I would be keeping sex until after marriage is because it physically conssumates the marriage. It doesn't mean it will be any better physically but it means you have made the commitment to each other through marriage to love each other until you die.

Sex is the most phsically intimate act two people can share, and for me I only want that to be shared with one person, marriage commits to that (see my opinion on divorce further down). Kissing on the other hand is not quite as itimate, and I think that this is where the differences lies. It is still an extremely important event and action for two people, but I don't think it holds the significance that sex does. Having said that, I also have heard of people who have kept thier first kiss until the alter (now there is disipline )

why say "iam saving sex for marriage" when you can say " iam saving sex for love" because then there really is a special connection.

I can understand what you are saying completely here. The difference with me is that not only do I want the life long commitment from someone else before I have sex, I want to be able to give them this very same commitment. It is not good enough for me to say I will have sex with you just because I feel as though I love you, I want to be commited to that one person for the rest of my life. This is because, just you pointed out, we can fall in love (or at least feel as though we have) with more than one person in our lives. With that in mind, how could I ever hold that sex should be given to whomever I think I love. I cannot do that, I want to be in a life long commitment with the person I share it with.

Just because love and marriage usually occur at the same time doesnt mean you should base your ideals on marriage as apposed to love

I don't think that marriage and love occur at the exact same time. I think that love occurs far before marriage, otherwise you wouldn't want to get married right? It is because of this, as explained above, that I won't be having sex until I am married. I want to be able to give my true love the life long commitment she deserves.

I think when you finaly have sex.. you will realise it's just sex..

I think commitment and trust and companionship and monogomy are much more important factors if you are going to marry someone, then wether or not they have had sex with someone in the past. It's the being able to spend the rest of your life with that person that counts when you get married, it's not the sex... although as I have said before sex does help bond two people in a relationship together.

But what happens if you get married and 5/10 years later you realise they aren't the one for you... what happens then? are you going to stay unhapily married just because you only want sex with one person your whole life?

You know maybe your right and I will never be able to prove you wrong until that day. So on the basis of my own personal experiences, I have no argument. However, I have read far to many things and heard way too many stories to believe that sex, is just a pyhsical act or "just sex". When two people have sex, they not only feel closer to each other because they can be phsically open to each other, but rather because they give a part of themsleves to each other. It is so much more than a pyhsical act from the things I have read. Surley you can feel that is more than a physical act? Could any physical act result in the fusion that is felt when sex goes on? Because of sex you fuse together as one, I mean you are practically inside each other.

I think commitment, trust, companionship and monagomy are also extremly important factors, it would be very unwise of me to underestimate their value. However, to me, sex after marriage is what shows the commitment to want to give these factors to the husband/wife. It's interesting that you would mention monagomy, in that from the dictionary it has a few meanings:

1.The practice or condition of having a single sexual partner during a period of time.

2a. The practice or condition of being married to only one person at a time.
b. The practice of marrying only once in a lifetime

Putting these together wouldn't it seem logical to say that monogamy means one sexual partner for a lifetime? If that is the case, then monagomy is exactly why I will only have sex after marriage. In fact the Zoologoy definition is:

3.The condition of having only one mate during a breeding season or during the breeding life of a pair.

Not that I particularly want to relate us to animals, but rather want to get a better idea of what the word means.

Now in regard to me finding out that they are not "the one" after 5/10 years. It is not a concern. Once married, that is it, it is final, there is no other one, they are the one because I am married to them and have given myself to them completely. If for some reason the marriage itslef is not working aswell as I first thought it would, it would not end. Just because marriages have their ups and downs at times does not mean I should call it quits. It means I should have the integrity to work at the marriage and make it a happy one. When two people love each other properly they should be willing to work things out together.

And so we move on to the divorce issue. Only under one circumstance would divorce be a consideration. That being if my partner had, had an affair. However even then I think I would try and work through. Sure it would be hard as hell, but forgiveness is the better option. As long as the partner is willing to change there actions then I don't think even that should be something that ends the marriage. If it did end up having to be a divorce, which for me is practically a non-existant possibility, I wouldn't be getting remarried again. How, could I back up all of what I had said if marriage meant nothing to me and I would be happy sleeping with the next person I married? I couldn't. I may as well be sleeping around and not getting married.

Marriage is final until death for me, and the consideration that they are not the one will not be something I actually consider once married. If I am married, they are the one as far as I am concerned.

No. Sex is fantastic and different with every person I've done it with, something you can't possibly understand. In fact, it's been more fantastic with every person I've been with.

Your dead right, there is no way I can understand that because I have not been there. There is no way I will ever be able to understand that, because I won't ever be there, so I can't argue with you in that regard. Judging by the way you are talking though, has sleeping with more than one person made sex lose its meaning? Like the first time, it must have been a huge and meaningful step in the relationship. However, now, even though it is fantastic and different with every person has it lost it's meaning slowly, knowing that sex doesn't always mean commitment?

Why is someone instantly promiscous because they arent a virgin anymore.
You need to chose your words more carefully.

Your right, sorry about that. It was the only word I could think of at the time of writing. I'll go back and edit it. Ta.

No. How do you know the person you marry will be the only one you will ever love? What if you just THOUGHT you loved them, to use your own words. Marriage is NOT proof of love.

Marriage is not always proof of love in our world (eg Brittany Spears) but it should be. There is no doubt in my mind that people should love each other before they are married. To say that you may be wrong about whether you love the person when married to me rediculous, why would you get married that quickly unless you knew it would work for the rest of your life? Sure people get divorced (not going to go into it completely again this time dw) but I think is either due do the fact that they rushed things to quickly to begin with or are not willing to work together and sort out their differences. Maybe I could be wrong, but I think even the consideration once in marriage that you do not love each other could and can be disasterous to the relationship.

What if you were married, and your spouse died, and eventually you married somone who's spouse had also died.
Neither of you would be virgins, so what would you do?
Never have another relationship again?

This is different again, because marriage is a commitment "until death do us part". So in that regard I think it would be fine for someone in this situation to be re-married. Personally though, I don't know that I would ever want to be married again if my spouse had died. I couldn't bare to live out with someone else that I wanted to only be with my first true love. I'm sure this will differ from person to person and either point of view still fits in with the conditions laid down in marriage.

I don't see the point of limiting yourself.
To employ a tired cliche, you only live once.

I am limiting myself because I do only live once, and in that lifetime that I do live, I want that connection between me and another person to be as stong as it possibly can be.

And with that I think I am done. Geez this took a while to type up. I hope you guys are happy for all the effort I am going to explaining myself . I should also point out that I mean to offend none by my opinions here. Please don't take them as a personal attack because that is not what I intended.