Weirdest place you have m*bated? (1 Viewer)

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Pacchiru

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Re: Weirdest place you have masturbated?

HalcyonSky said:
and pretty faces*
why, what else do u expect me to cum on?

clingy? so you were in an e-relationship with a 22 yr old guy that collects cum filled socks? immaculate tastes u have
on your chest. :eek:


and no ew. he was gross.. always fapping and shit.

just talked to him loads of times, when i was bored, and he became a little too attached to me. :shy:

hahaha he even offered to pay for my flight to NZ to him.
 

HalcyonSky

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Re: Weirdest place you have masturbated?

Pacchiru said:
on your chest. :eek:


and no ew. he was gross.. always fapping and shit.

just talked to him loads of times, when i was bored, and he became a little too attached to me. :shy:

hahaha he even offered to pay for my flight to NZ to him.
u know there'd be alot less men in jail if underage girls like you didnt actually try to turn them on

Alyssar's into that, too. She gets her webcam happening and everything
 

Pacchiru

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Re: Weirdest place you have masturbated?

HalcyonSky said:
u know there'd be alot less men in jail if underage girls like you didnt actually try to turn them on

Alyssar's into that, too. She gets her webcam happening and everything

can't help it if we're so damn seductive. :(


lol @ alyssar and that old man. i don't go for men that old.
 

henry08

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Re: Weirdest place you have masturbated?

Supermarket toilet.
School camp.
Girlfreinds parents lounge.
Aeroplane.
 

SkyLo

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Re: Weirdest place you have masturbated?

at a church during a wedding. wasnt as fun as i hoped
 

SkyLo

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Re: Weirdest place you have masturbated?

newmz89 said:
your going to hell ^
does it help if i was thinking about the groom cos he was hot
 

SkyLo

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Re: Weirdest place you have masturbated?

newmz89 said:
your in the clear then ;)
good to know. i better not mention what happened at the reception tho
 

ziggy.zoozah

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Re: Weirdest place you have masturbated?

chamelia said:
in a banana peel. plus it will provide you will much needed potassium which is always a bonus.
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew r u for real?
 

chamelia

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Re: Weirdest place you have masturbated?

Alright, listen closely. I'm not going to beat around the bush. Ha ha ha. Your little body's changing - it's all good, believe me. Problem now is... every time we jerk the gerkin, we get a lot of unwanted sticky white stuff everywhere, right? Right. So... First order of business - no more socks. They're expensive, gumming up the works plumming-wise.

Now you might be thinking to yourself, "But, Uncle Andy, what do I do with all that pearl jam if I can't spew it into Mr. Sock?" Glad you asked... You can have a lovely time tugging the tiger in the shower each morning - that eliminates the need for a goo glove. But, the day is long, masturbation's fun, so unless we want to take 4 or 5 showers every day, we're gonna need some other options.

So let's start with the basics. Tissues. Perfectly acceptable backstop for all that Creamy Italian. They can be rough and dry on such soft, sensitive skin and it can stick to your dick head like a fuckin' band-aid - ouch.

From there we move on to more lubricated flack-catchers - specificially, bananas. Step one: Peel the banana. Step two: Slip the peel over your Randy Johnson and start pitching. Now for extra credit, warm up the peel in the microwave. Not too hot! Serious yowza. Also, olive oil, moisturizer, honey, spit, butter, hair conditioner, and Vaseline can all be used for lube. In my opinion, the best lube... is lube. So save your allowance and invest in some soon.

Alright, moving on - when you tug your Thomas on the toilet - ffft - shoot right into the bowl. In bed - soft t-shirt, perhaps a downy hand towel of your very own that you don't mind tossing after tossing. There's no such thing as polishing the raised scepter of love too much. It reduces stress, it enhances immune function. Also, practice makes perfect. So work on your control now, while you're a solo artist - you'll be playing some long, happy duets in the future. Ok - class dismissed.
 

sonyaleeisapixi

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Re: Weirdest place you have masturbated?

That post thoroughly amused me.

But, in answer to this question;
my driveway about about 1 in the morning whilst on the phone to a dear friend.
and on the beach once because no one was around.
 

SkyLo

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Re: Weirdest place you have masturbated?

sonyaleeisapixi said:
That post thoroughly amused me.

But, in answer to this question;
my driveway about about 1 in the morning whilst on the phone to a dear friend.
and on the beach once because no one was around.
id be impressed if you had done it on the beach with people around. are you dedicated or not ;)
 

HalcyonSky

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Re: Weirdest place you have masturbated?

sonyaleeisapixi said:
That post thoroughly amused me.

But, in answer to this question;
my driveway about about 1 in the morning whilst on the phone to a dear friend.
and on the beach once because no one was around.
why are you so fucking horny?

do you have some excessive blood flow problem to your clitoris?
 

one8two

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Re: Weirdest place you have masturbated?

HalcyonSky said:
why are you so fucking horny?

do you have some excessive blood flow problem to your clitoris?

calm down.
school for me.
god i was horny that day.
 

sonyaleeisapixi

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Re: Weirdest place you have masturbated?

HalcyonSky said:
why are you so fucking horny?

do you have some excessive blood flow problem to your clitoris?
I honestly dont know.

I mean, Im ridiculously so nowadays because thats just how I deal with and release tension, ie the HSC

Normally Im just like. I dunno? Doesnt interfere with my day. Three times a day give or take.
 

one8two

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Re: Weirdest place you have masturbated?

sonyaleeisapixi said:
I honestly dont know.

I mean, Im ridiculously so nowadays because thats just how I deal with and release tension, ie the HSC

Normally Im just like. I dunno? Doesnt interfere with my day. Three times a day give or take.

oh dear. I could just imagine you doing some naughty stuff in the actual exam *laughs*
 

sonyaleeisapixi

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Re: Weirdest place you have masturbated?

one8two said:
oh dear. I could just imagine you doing some naughty stuff in the actual exam *laughs*
hahahaha. actually, im never stressed IN exams
i just zone out and do my thing
 
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