Compicated Situation (1 Viewer)

taxman

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I'm in a dilly of a pickle right now, to fully understand it, you have to know how it all began. So get your reading glasses on.

I met this girl at Subway about a month ago, she was working there and I spent about 10 minutes trying to line myself up with her and failed, but eventually got served by her. We caught each other perving a bit, so I was pretty confident. I asked her for her number and got it, told her I'd call her the next day.

The enxt day, I called her and we hit it off, we spoke for five hours straight without a rest, it was amazing. We then talked continually for weeks, but I only saw her once because of her working (she's left school) and my exams and stuff. Then we didn't talk for a week.

I sent her a msg out of the blue and she invited me over to her place to watch the NRL grand final, I went, we had an awesome time, then the next day we went to the beach together, had an amazing time, flirted HEAPS and I thought I was in, but we never got enough time alone to kiss or talk or anything, so I figured I'd wait.

We talked a few days after on the phone and I asked her if she wanted a relationship, she told me she'd think about it, got back to me a week later and told me she really, really liked me but wasn't ready for a relationship, but still wanted to be friends.

So here we are, we are really close friends, but I'm still attracted to her and she's still flirting with me to the point that she spanks me in public, and called me gorgeous when I was in the change-rooms at Sandy Bay. So, obviously, she likes me.

Here's the problem. I don't want to push her for a relationship because I want to prove to her that I can be her friend without wanting more...but I can't even LOOK at any other girls because I like this girl so damn much. I don't know whether to make another move or just forget about it...I want her as a girlfriend, but I don't want to make an attempt and lose her as a friend.

I mean, here's some of the messages she's sent me over the past few weeks:

'No worries thanks heaps max, you're a great guy'

'thanks 4 comin max, i had heapz of fun.mwah.'

'Hey Max. Im good u? Bout the other day, i like you heaps and hope we can still be friends but i dont think im ready for a bf at the moment, sorry, hope we can stay friends cos ur the nicest person ive ever met. mwah. msg back please.'

'Miss you too. I'm glad you had fun, I love it when you msg me, it's good to hear from you.' - I saw her then night before.

So, what do you guys reckon? Should I make a move?
 

Sophie777

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Sounds like she wants to be friends. Doesn't want to lose you so is still flirting.
 

iambored

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keep it as friends for now, she outright stated she doesn't want you as a b/f atm. hopefully she'll come around soon. the only way this can get too complicated is if she goes out with another guy.
 

dani86

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taxman said:
..I met this girl at Subway about a month ago..
Did you use that pick up line on her?

Guy: Hey, do you like Subway?
Girl: Yeah, why?
Guy: Cos I got a footlong in my pants, baby..

So sleazy lol

Ok seriously now, just keep talking to her, flirt back and shit.. If she says anything like "oh you've become just like a brother to me.." run for the hills.
Is she very physical with you? Like, a touchy feeling kind of person?
Try a little wrestling game or something, just to test the waters..
 

taxman

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Hey, thanks Dani. I'll use that pick-up line next time :p...she is pretty touchy feely...I'll try that little wrestling game thing...see how it goes. I used to wrestle myself out at homebush, so maybe I can 'teach her the moves' so to speak :p

I think I'll just go with inaction for now. If I do nothing 'more thaen friendish' I can't get myself into too much strife and piss her off.
 

thejosiekiller

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i just think she would feel uncomfortable in a relationship at the moment- dont rule urself out- just wait and continue the flirting. dont let some other new interesting guy come into the picture when she starts feeling like being close to someone.

and all guys know how it feels to wait on a girl, but keep on going mate- dont give up on a girl u think is great.
 

mr_speedy

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yeah you should make a move, just go out frinking and dancing one night, and bump n grind with her and see where you go from there.
 

veanz

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taxman said:
Here's the problem. I don't want to push her for a relationship because I want to prove to her that I can be her friend without wanting more...but I can't even LOOK at any other girls because I like this girl so damn much. I don't know whether to make another move or just forget about it...I want her as a girlfriend, but I don't want to make an attempt and lose her as a friend.

So, what do you guys reckon? Should I make a move?
While it's obvious she likes you, is it possible that shes got some sort of history holding her back that youre unaware of? even so, I think it's pretty obvious that 'lets just be friends' is just a mask for 'im still thinking about what i dont/do want to risk'. And as you say, you both flirt to the point of public spankings.. :p

Like everyone else, just give her time and i think she will come around. She may even surprise you and make the move :)
 

Tuna

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How could a school boy like a subway girl? She left school because she wasn't capable of achieving a standard result. At least school leavers should be able to do some secretary work. Subway....Get on with your life and start studying, "loving" her too much will make you a subway boy.
 

timrie6

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Tuna said:
How could a school boy like a subway girl? She left school because she wasn't capable of achieving a standard result. At least school leavers should be able to do some secretary work. Subway....Get on with your life and start studying, "loving" her too much will make you a subway boy.
Cmon that's a bit snobbish
 

malkin86

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Sometimes friendliness can be mistaken for flirtiness. I'm not sure what I'd do in your situation. Probably be her friend for a while and then try and mention the dating thing again? But that could get old..
 

thejosiekiller

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i dont think that when ur a teenager ur worrying that much about someone's financial/social stability whatever- load of crap. when ur this age u should be having a good time with someone u care about

because at this age no1 is really an expert on relationships- its all about learning
 

taxman

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Tuna said:
How could a school boy like a subway girl? She left school because she wasn't capable of achieving a standard result. At least school leavers should be able to do some secretary work. Subway....Get on with your life and start studying, "loving" her too much will make you a subway boy.
Look, find out the facts before you begin to comment.

She left school at the beginning of Year 11 because she had no intentions of going to university and figured it would be smarter to get a job then waste her two years. She worked fulltime at subway while searching for a new job. Now she's got a job at a Credit Union and is doing quite well for herself. She did one of the smartest thing a teenager in her situation could have done without outside advice.
 

Tuna

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Lol, who cares about her...When I'll marry someone, that person must have a bachelor of something(excluding all the under 80's for UAI)
 

Sophie777

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What, do you have something against stupid people? You know some of the most intelligent people don't get high UAI's. From all the 'memorising essays' and so on, the people who get high marks are those who put in the effort and have the motivation to study. Why be so cruel?
 

taxman

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I agree Sophie. Too many people judge intelligence by UAI's and school marks, when I believe the greatest measure of intelligence is common sense. Somebody that can use logic, solve situational problems, etc are often a much more intelligent person than a straight A student.
 

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