"alienating" others (2 Viewers)

[Leggy McLegs]

I've found that there are some people around me that tend to "alienate" their friends or family when starting a relationship or in a relationship. I've seen it happen to my siblings and some of my friends. By "alienating" I mean that it seems as though their whole life stops and their world revolves around their partner. Yes, good on them, they're in love, they have a partner, they're happy, and I am happy for them, but it doesn't mean they should forget about the rest of the people around them who care about them. What's the deal with that?

 

[iamsickofyear12]

My sister recently got a boyfriend. She spends most of her time at his house or out doing something with him. When she is home he is here a lot and even when she is here alone they are always talking on the phone.

It doesn't bother me though because she is annoying and I like her not being around.

 

[AlleyCat]

i always hate that awkwardness between my friends when i bring my boyfriend everywhere with me, or constantly bring him up in conversation, so i try to avoid doing things that would come between us.

also, now that we have been together for a month or so, its good to have some time apart.

i have been on the recieving end of many awkward, alienating situations, so i make a concious effort to avoid them.

 

[Lundy]

I've had at least one close friendship crumble and die because of it. We'd been virtually inseperable best friends for about 6 years, then one day she met some guy, found herself in her first relationship ever, got all caught up in the excitement and novelty of it, then she all but cut me out of her life. Consequently, I haven't heard from her in months. I assume the relationship is still going, but I really don't know, and I really don't care. Romantic interests come and go, but good friends are invaluable.


I really think there needs to be a balance between a relationship, friends and family, and I always make the conscious effort, like alleycat, to retain that balance and not to place my friends in any uncomfortable situations if I can help it.

 

[IcEy]

I really think there needs to be a balance between a relationship, friends and family, and I always make the conscious effort, like alleycat, to retain that balance and not to place my friends in any uncomfortable situations if I can help it.

Very true, but its a lot easier said than done. Especially if its like your first. You get so wrapped up in it all and everything, nothing else seems to matter.

 

[Lundy]

I think by all means you should enjoy the relationship but it's also important to be able to still see the bigger picture. Because if you alienate all your friends, then you break up.....what've you got left?

 

[AlleyCat]

I think by all means you should enjoy the relationship but it's also important to be able to still see the bigger picture. Because if you alienate all your friends, then you break up.....what've you got left?

exactly!
you tell 'em lundy
stick by your girlfriends/mates and they will stick by you.

 

[Serius]

yeah, stick by your friends, they are shitloads more important. girls come and go, but real friends will be there for life.

this happens to me sometimes , hasnt with my sisters yet but a few friends...
the thing is one of my friends is like *the best* at balancing girlfriend and friends, its so cool, and u know how sometimes u feel uncomfortable around your mate and his new girlfriend cause they are like all over each other? yeah this doesnt happen with him...iam sure he must conciously try and make his friends feel comfortable and it has resulted in a good relationship between him and his girl [ obviously] but also has made his friends [ i.e me and others] feel comfortable around his girlfriend, like i would consider her a friend, not just a friends girl as often happens

 

[Ranger Stacie]

ive lost a few friends over this, some people arent skilled enough to maintain more than one relationship at a time.

 

[kazan]

ive lost a few friends over this, some people arent skilled enough to maintain more than one relationship at a time.

amen, one of my close girl friends, let her boyfriend take over her life to the pont of where he wouldn't let her talk to any guys, or wear skirts/mini shorts, he even punched me in the face for ringing her, i stoped being her friend untill she stoped dating him...

 

[sparkl3z]

amen, one of my close girl friends, let her boyfriend take over her life to the pont of where he wouldn't let her talk to any guys, or wear skirts/mini shorts, he even punched me in the face for ringing her, i stoped being her friend untill she stoped dating him...

that's bad, nobody should get hit by thier gf/bf, or friends, NO TO ABUSE ALWAYS, but heres a thing, you can't always trust friends either, unless they are real close.

 

[kazan]

that's bad, nobody should get hit by thier gf/bf, or friends, NO TO ABUSE ALWAYS, but heres a thing, you can't always trust friends either, unless they are real close.

he hit me, not her... there was nothing to worry about between me and her, i dont find her attractive in that way, she is just a cool person to hang with and we had been close for years before he came along,

 

[Skillo]

If your friend is doing it, tell them to stop it. If they don't, shoot them...or just tell them again. Your pick

 

[MiuMiu]

When I met my current boy I was sorta just finishing school and in the process of drifting away from my friends anyway, me starting a relationship I think probably just sped up the inevitable process.

Now most of my friends are mutual friends shared with my boy, so its all good. I do admire him though, he's still great mates with his school friends and really values those relationships, he makes sure not to neglect his friends and regularly goes out just with the boys, and I think thats the way it should be.

I am always wary of not being smoochy or feely around people though because I know how uncomfortable (not to mention sickening) it feels to be around people who are getting it on (or even just kissing every 5 seconds) so I stick to VERY conservative PDAs.

 

[SweetSeasons]

Yeah... my friends are hypocrites... with all of my past bf's I've managed to have time for friends, family and my partner... yet my friends still managed to bitch at me because I couldn't see them once or twice as I already had plans or what ever... yet they've all had bf's for over a year and when ever I organise something they don't come or they bring their bf... I'm kind of very over it. I'm so glad I have friends outside of the small group at sat with at school. Cause other wise I'd have no social life

 

[Jess-a_belle]

my current sitation is good. i met my bf last year, and we started a relationship etc. at the end of year 12 i moved to wollongong to be with him. this was good cos i had gotten kicked out of school and wasnt speaking to any of my friends anyway. now my friends here are also his friends but his two closet guy mates have gfs/ fiancess who i get along with really well even though they are a few years older than me. so whenever we go out we have no worries about the girls walking off to chat and the boys doing the same, or leaving the boys at home and going shopping/beach etc.

yay for good juggling!!

 

[MiuMiu]

What did you do to get kicked out of school?!?!

 

[Serius]

my current sitation is good. i met my bf last year, and we started a relationship etc. at the end of year 12 i moved to wollongong to be with him. this was good cos i had gotten kicked out of school and wasnt speaking to any of my friends anyway. now my friends here are also his friends but his two closet guy mates have gfs/ fiancess who i get along with really well even though they are a few years older than me. so whenever we go out we have no worries about the girls walking off to chat and the boys doing the same, or leaving the boys at home and going shopping/beach etc.

yay for good juggling!!

your from wollongong? haha join the club *points at sig*

i was gonna say something mean about getting kicked out of school, like 2 much sex, but then i realised u were from wollongong and i decided to be nice

 

[Jess-a_belle]

hahaha


no i got kicked out for fighting

"year 12 - my best friend and i were inseperable for like three years, you know, told each ther everything, blah blah. i broke up with my bf of two years. three weeks later she lost her virginity to him. needless to say i was very hurt. so i punched her in the face a few times, put her on the ground, tried to choke her, got pulled off her by four guys. got expelled from school and had to complete the HSC from home. hence the UAi of 54.70. Ha."

 

[MiuMiu]

Hehe omg, I think you possibly had the worst friend in the world.