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Cornered by my Motivation (Waving Help Flag) (1 Viewer)

Jynx

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I'm twirling into a state of depression pretty rapidly for a various number of reasons.

1) I've never been a 'study-person', this may be due to my computer-addiction or just because I'm lazy. I can't help myself - I just can't study, I have no motivation and it really makes me depressed, which i know i shouldn't let it get to me because It's something I have to work out for myself but I have no idea how to.

2) I come from a single-parent family and don't really have all these expensive-items, I know I know that they are just 'things' But somehow i feel cheated that my dad was an irresponsible tool. He died when was i was 2, So i didn't know him. But i just think Life would of been easier with him around. Also i know I am being very selfish on this point, but when all my friends are these 'wealthy-class boys who all goes to private schools and have an awesome dad' etc, it just gets me down.

3) HSC Is this year, and although i aced my first few exams I'm extremely worried that i won't be able to change before the HSC Trials and I'll be stuck when it comes around to them.

4) It took me over 5-6 years to actually get an idea of what i wanted to do when i left school, but a year ago while getting my eyes-examined they detected that i had colour-deficient eyes, restricted my job availabilities. Which i think took all of my motivation out of me, I wanted to be either a Policeman, Fire Fighter or Join the Army/Navy/Airforce - But after this distressing discovery i found out that all of those options are striked out.

I'm not throwing a hook out in hopes to get some sympathy, But i would really just like someone to relate to maybe? Some words that can help me get motivated to change... I don't know, But all i know is that I'm pretty in the crapper at the moment.

Thanks for taking the time to read this randoms rant.
 
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-pari-

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hey =)

kinda hard to know what to say, coz i'm not sure if what i say will make much difference.

i think ....the biggest thing that keeps me going...is not looking at my weaknesses. like for you, that might be trying to ignore the absence of your dad, even though you're reminded daily, it's probably close to impossible, but at least ...you can try focusing on what you do have, which might help.

also - i try staying in the present. i've been quite up in the air about what i wanna do after uni too, and i'm the kind that i need to know where i'm going. i need to know that to motivate me
but i realised i hardly have time to think about after uni now days, coz mostly, i just think of what i'm doing now, today, whats the big event facing me right now? my half yearlies.

so try sticking to the present, because, things like the trials and the hsc look real big when they're so far off.....it just scares you out more.


also...i know this might be out of the blue - but i suggest maybe start playing a competitve sport of some type if you dont already. i'm not a sporty person myself, but sport does a WORLD of good in terms of controlling your emotional and pyschological realm

n a last thing. do what works for you - some kids study heaps, some kids study even more than heaps - some dont study that much and get by okay. one'a the important things this year, is dont worry, or even look at what others are doing.
it'll probably just add undue stress. so if you're acing your exams so far, just keep it steady, and it'll be okay =)

gud luck :)
 

Sofstar

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hi Jynx,

I don't think many of us have realised how much we could study until now, but if you're lacking some motivation you have to start cracking down on yourself *cringe* start with small goals, rather than set time limits, do a 'to do' list so you know what you have to do and how much left you have to do.
My motivation at the moment is to climb up the rank ladder in the subjects and it also switches to beating people. Talk to others to find out their motivation and you might find yours!

What if you thought of what your dad would want for you? Not to be down because your friends have things that you don't but maybe your friends don't have qualities that you have? What about thinking that his prescence is still around you? As long as he lives in your memory, he still lives. :)

It's great that you're getting good marks, remember to think that the only way from here is up. See what you can improve on and learn from the mistakes that you make.

Career wise, there have a look around, i'm sure many of us on here haven't made up our minds yet as to what we want to do or switch careers every 2 weeks. There's still time!

Crappiness is sometimes cured by sleep too.
 

m0ofin

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You sound like you're having a pretty rough time so it's good to have a vent every now and then or else it'll consume most aspects of your life.

I'm sorry about your father and all the other things that are happening, while you can't change your past, you can always change your future. Try talking to your school counsellor (because sometimes it's harder speaking about these things to friends) about how you feel and such, it might provide you with a bit of motivation and help you cope with your vision problem, lack of a father-figure, not having the things that your friends have and studying issues.

There is plenty of help out there, especially on the internet (more helpful than the trusty BOS here, I know, shocking). Some include:
Reach Out and KHL

All the best. And, in the words of Ghandi "be the change you want to see".
 

bringbackshred

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Man, I wish you the best for the HSC. I'm in a slightly better situation that you so it's hard for me to emphasise, but I really do wish you the best of luck and hope that everything works out.

If you've aced your first exams without study, you should be fine if you put in some effort. Just turn off the computer - I know it's hard (I can't even do it myself), but if you really want those marks, that's what you need to do. In that sense, I'm in the same boat as you because I can't turn my PC off and I get distracted very easily, but just think of some motivating factor... Wouldn't you like to be able to stick it to the 'rich kids' in your year when you beat them, just to show that even though you had setbacks, you could still beat them? For me at least, that'd be motivation enough in itself.
 

bmwz4

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dont dwell on things you cant change, i.e your dad. It has nothing to do with how well you will do in the hsc and how well u will succeed in the future. If we all brought up bad memories/experiences whilst trying to study and get thru school we wuld all be going thru a depression spiral Turn off your computer, what motivates you? going to uni? so what if your friends have expensive material possessions? do you think it would make you focus more on school or distract you? i think your making excuses to distract yourself. Find motivation and i wish you luck :)
 
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bmwz4 said:
dont dwell on things you cant change, i.e your dad. It has nothing to do with how well you will do in the hsc and how well u will succeed in the future. If we all brought up bad memories/experiences whilst trying to study and get thru school we wuld all be going thru a depression spiral Turn off your computer, what motivates you? going to uni? so what if your friends have expensive material possessions? do you think it would make you focus more on school or distract you? i think your making excuses to distract yourself. Find motivation and i wish you luck :)
The man speaks the truth.

I suggest you find something you can really channel your efforts into. You seem to be quite smart, perhaps you could really go for an awesome UAI, or concentrate uber hard on the next assessment... ;)

it doesn't have to be school, it can be sport/exercise, music, perhaps part time job if you have one, meet up with your friends outside of school.... just dont go on the computer as often or waste your time watching the box or playing computer games or something, because chances are it will be too easy to wallow in your own depression/sadness. something to get you out of the rut. :)

If all else fails...booking an appointment with your school counsellor will probably help. Because there's only so much family, peers, teachers/other mentors, etc can do, professsional help may be the key. :uhhuh:

:wave:
 
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Sprinkles~

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Jynx said:
1) I've never been a 'study-person', this may be due to my computer-addiction or just because I'm lazy. I can't help myself - I just can't study, I have no motivation and it really makes me depressed, which i know i shouldn't let it get to me because It's something I have to work out for myself but I have no idea how to.
I think you'd be surpised (or maybe not) at the number of people who have the exact same problem. If you're not careful it can become a bit of an endless cycle - you feel like you have no motivation, avoid studying in every way you can, get stressed because you don't get anything done, become depressed and lose motivation all over again.

There's no easy fix, you just need to make yourself break the cycle. If the computer is a major distraction try cutting back on the amount of time you spend online - use it as a reward after you get a bit of study done. If you really can't stay away have someone put a password on the computer and not let you on until you've worked. I have the same problem with wasting too much time on the computer and not doing enough uni work :p

Jynx said:
2) I come from a single-parent family and don't really have all these expensive-items, I know I know that they are just 'things' But somehow i feel cheated that my dad was an irresponsible tool. He died when was i was 2, So i didn't know him. But i just think Life would of been easier with him around. Also i know I am being very selfish on this point, but when all my friends are these 'wealthy-class boys who all goes to private schools and have an awesome dad' etc, it just gets me down.
:(

I don't think you're been selfish at all, that would get anyone down. If its all affecting you so much right now that its impacting on your work then maybe speaking to your school counsellor would be a good idea. It might be the last thing you really want to do (you're probably sitting there thinking "omg did she really just tell me to see the counsellor??" and wanting to yell at me right now for even suggesting it :p) but it can seriously help SO much to have someone to vent with and get advice. Really!

Jynx said:
3) HSC Is this year, and although i aced my first few exams I'm extremely worried that i won't be able to change before the HSC Trials and I'll be stuck when it comes around to them.
There's still a while before the trials - plenty of time to change! Well done on going well inf your first few exams, if you can do it once you can do it again. You just need to make sure you get all this sorted out now.

Jynx said:
4) It took me over 5-6 years to actually get an idea of what i wanted to do when i left school, but a year ago while getting my eyes-examined they detected that i had colour-deficient eyes, restricted my job availabilities. Which i think took all of my motivation out of me, I wanted to be either a Policeman, Fire Fighter or Join the Army/Navy/Airforce - But after this distressing discovery i found out that all of those options are striked out.
Life sucks sometimes, and sometimes there's nothing anyone can say to make a situation suck any less. I know what it's like to have your plans ripped out from underneath you and how hard it is, not that that helps you feel better about it but I can relate. Did I mention that it sucks already? I guess its another reason why talking to your school counsellor (yeah the evil "talk" word again :p) could reallyy help. Or you could just vent some more on here cos random rants are always good for you :p


Jynx said:
Thanks for taking the time to read this randoms rant.
You're welcome, anytime :p

Good luck for your HSC!
 

Forbidden.

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But really my motivation isn't very much different when there is half yearly/yearly exams ... maybe not for the trials either.

watatank said:
Are you trying to increase yours? :p

P.S. Post count +1 :D

+postcount
Another quality post by f3nr15 powered by freedom of speech
 

Season

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bringbackshred said:
No, not entirely. I've got enough. Even though post count does = penis size.
is VERY VERY VERY scared


you sound depressed and seem to be lumping together reasons why you are depressed which is just making it all much much worse.

I hate to sound harsh but at the end of the day it comes down you, just dealing with the crap in your life, putting it in a box and moving on. Personally I've had the worst start to HSC, I was in a major car crash and my brother still has some brain damage, this is only ONE of many problems I'm dealing with and its hard, real hard, but I don't really think of not working as an option. You need to take on this attitude.


Also as for your career aspirations, I was pretty sceptical of colour defiency being a problem as 1 out of EVERY 12 men have some sort of colour blindness, so I actually looked it up. Basically it varies on a case to case basis, obviously if you're completley colour blind then it there are some jobs in the navy which you cannot do, but you're not completely colour blind and I'm not sure what you're aiming for

Will colour blindness affect my chances of joining the Forces?
Colour blindness will restrict the areas of employment that are available to you. A Defence Recruiter will be able to tell you which jobs you will be eligible for.
The best thing for you to do is to pop down to your local ADFA recruitment place and actually ask about it, chances are you're making a mountain out of a mole hill. Seriously 1 out of every 12 men have it so its very unlikely they would prejudice strongly against such a large group. I assume the other places have similar things going on.
 

m0ofin

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Oh, I like that phrase.

Making a mountain out of a molehill.

Actually, what's worse? Making a mountain out of a molehill or a molehill out of a mountain? But then again, it depends on the situation.
 

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