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Critique my assignment? (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter deswa1
- Start date
Private message thing isn't working for me, so posted it here, hope you don't mind
These are just my observations as I'm reading through, up to you whether you wish to change it or not:
-first sentence is really subjective, if you are going to have an opinion in there it's best to have it at the end with your conclusion
-"This is, in turn, placing upward pressure on wages and the inflation rate. " <-- make this more clear
-"A surplus occurs when government spending is less than total government receipts. A surplus, by definition, points to a contractionary budget. " <-- don't think this is correct, a surplus is when there is simply an excess amount of money in the current account, for e.g. you can have an expansionary policy when you have a surplus
-"‘cashing in’ " <-- more clarity, sophistication, don't keep it casual talk
-"going so fast it falls off the rails" <-- again, keep it more formal, and use sophistication
-you use some really good statistics in the 2nd half but of your response, but barely any in the 1st half
-A heading, and subheadings would also be appropriate since it is a report
-there's a bit of repetition of the stuff you have already gone into in your introduction
-also, there seems to only be positive impacts/effects, it would be good at the flip side of the coin as well - like where the spending cuts, higher taxation from familes etc...
-try and include atleast 1 diagram/graph as wel
Ok, other than those minor stuff most of your analysis, critique is pretty good, specially your reference to Macquarie research and citi investment
These are just my observations as I'm reading through, up to you whether you wish to change it or not:
-first sentence is really subjective, if you are going to have an opinion in there it's best to have it at the end with your conclusion
-"This is, in turn, placing upward pressure on wages and the inflation rate. " <-- make this more clear
-"A surplus occurs when government spending is less than total government receipts. A surplus, by definition, points to a contractionary budget. " <-- don't think this is correct, a surplus is when there is simply an excess amount of money in the current account, for e.g. you can have an expansionary policy when you have a surplus
-"‘cashing in’ " <-- more clarity, sophistication, don't keep it casual talk
-"going so fast it falls off the rails" <-- again, keep it more formal, and use sophistication
-you use some really good statistics in the 2nd half but of your response, but barely any in the 1st half
-A heading, and subheadings would also be appropriate since it is a report
-there's a bit of repetition of the stuff you have already gone into in your introduction
-also, there seems to only be positive impacts/effects, it would be good at the flip side of the coin as well - like where the spending cuts, higher taxation from familes etc...
-try and include atleast 1 diagram/graph as wel
Ok, other than those minor stuff most of your analysis, critique is pretty good, specially your reference to Macquarie research and citi investment