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bored of sc

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Could someone please give me some pointers on my english speech (below):

What we have done in the past never ceases to fascinate us. Memory allows us to pinpoint a time in our history and explore it for all its worth. It allows us to document many key events in time. Poetry is a powerful medium of communication. It can be simple and conventional, beautiful and descriptive and in the case John Donne’s ‘Batter my Heart’, profound and shocking. Poetry puts memory onto paper. It preserves our memories and for Donne, poetry provides a sense of immortality.

Good morning/afternoon Mr Trirro and students. Infamous metaphysical poet John Donne wrote a particularly interesting poem – Holy Sonnet 14 or ‘Batter my Heart’. It is through poetic techniques and form that Donne communicates a distinctive and meaningful reflection on the memories, history and life of not only himself but his society in general. The poem has intrinsic value and textual integrity; its themes have withstood the test of time and continue to be studied and critically analysed. This is because ‘Batter my Heart’ brings to light so many of the human inevitabilities – exploring ideas of God, spirituality, the nature of morality, conflict, love and so on. Holy Sonnet 14 can also be perceived on a variety of levels. For this reason, the poem is timeless and universal – not limiting it scope to a certain historical context or target audience. ‘Batter my Heart’ relates to us all and this is the true power of poetry. Poetry is profound and can have a significant impact upon our lives. It provides different meanings to a range of aspects of life and experience – attempting to clarify the ambiguous but at the same time question anything too clear cut. Poetry probes the essence of the human condition and Donne does this the only way he knows how – by shocking us with startling imagery.

John Donne’s Holy Sonnet ‘Batter my Heart’ communicates a struggle with sin – Donne is trying to overcome the burdens of viceroy. He needs God to renew his tormented soul from its imperfections. In order to achieve this Donne suggests that God uses abusive means such as violence and rape. Donne believes God’s imprisonment, as ironic as it sounds, is the ultimate salvation.

It is techniques that enable us, the responders, to vividly understand the aspects of life and experience inherent in Donne’s Batter my Heart. The form of the poem is crucial in establishing Donne’s tone. The form of Holy Sonnet 14 is an Italian sonnet - 14 lines - 3 quatrains and rhyming couplet. The structure of the poem can also be differentiated into 1 octave (2 quatrains) and a 6 line subset (1 quatrain and a couplet). This division is representative of the tone of poem. At line 9 a conventional Elizabethan Volta occurs. The tone changes from suicidal and pessimistic to intimate and hopeful. Donne at first is very cynical, struggling to come terms with sin; depressed with the belief that his sinfulness has made his soul so impure God will not accept his spirit into his kingdom of heaven. However, by Line 9, the Volta occurs and Donne becomes more personal – expressing his undying love for God, before finally asking God to take him as his prisoner, believing this is the only way to attain true freedom. The general tone Donne takes is didactic – achieving this through the use of verbs. Donne is commanding God to batter, break, blow, burn, imprison, enthral and ravish him. These verbs form the basis of Donne’s concerns – he is bound to Hell and needs something special to “break that knot againe,” and Donne suggests rape and violence are two sufficient ways to do this. The strong didactic language reveals to the responder the intense emotion under which Donne wrote the Sonnet. At the time he wrote the sonnet, his wife Anne More had just passed away. This brought on a range of emotions including despair, pessimism, ambiguity, remorse, anger, torment, provocation, love and disgust of the world. Donne has come to the conclusion that logic, reason, rationality and the finite is sinful and morally wrong. He is outraged by the inevitable – particularly by the untimely death of his beloved. He intends to reunite with his deceased wife, Anne, with death the only option. Commanding God to break, blow and burn suggests Donne is willing and ready to die. For Donne to attain the ultimate infinity and thus, connect spirits with Anne, he needs God to enthral and ravish (absorb and seize control of) him. It is through his death that the rational and finite is abolished, opening up the blissful infinity of God’s kingdom of heaven. According to Donne, who led an active religious life, being a prisoner of God is true freedom and gratification.

That's it so far - is it too essay-like for a speech and too complex in its expression? Also, is it particularly boring? If so, tell me! Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Help me! English is so hard...
 

jellybelly59

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I think it's good... just this sentence "This brought on a range of emotions including despair, pessimism, ambiguity, remorse, anger, torment, provocation, love and disgust of the world." has too many emotions.... Might sound when u say it... have u read it aloud or to anyone else?...

Also i think ur using the poet's name too much... u can use pronouns because it is a speech. Whether it's boring will depend on how u present it. The content seems as unboring as it could be for this topic :D
 

bored of sc

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jellybelly59 said:
I think it's good... just this sentence "This brought on a range of emotions including despair, pessimism, ambiguity, remorse, anger, torment, provocation, love and disgust of the world." has too many emotions.... Might sound when u say it... have u read it aloud or to anyone else?...

Also i think ur using the poet's name too much... u can use pronouns because it is a speech. Whether it's boring will depend on how u present it. The content seems as unboring as it could be for this topic :D
I haven't read it aloud to anyone else yet but I think I will decrease the number of emotions and try to use the word Donne less.

Cheers.

Btw, I am so over trying to aim for perfection that I am now just trying to be good and clear with what I am writing - cause perfection is impossible - its wasting my time - plus I suck at english (lol).
 

Aerath

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You might wanna aim for a more vibrant and powerful start, to draw the audience's attention. Aim for something a bit different.
 

x.Exhaust.x

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I may be a bit stingy, but 'good morning' is a waste of time. Start off with a really powerful introduction that will catch the audience's attention.

It is through poetic techniques and form that Donne communicates a distinctive and meaningful reflection on the memories, history and life of not only himself but his society in general.
List examples for the poetic techniques (probably 2 will do :))

The form of Holy Sonnet 14 is an Italian sonnet - 14 lines - 3 quatrains and rhyming couplet. The structure of the poem can also be differentiated into 1 octave (2 quatrains) and a 6 line subset (1 quatrain and a couplet).
This paragraph tends to get boring, listing the lines, quatrains, octaves etc. whilst the audience wouldn't probably care. A few students (if as smart as you ;)) would probably have the same analysis of the sonnet. Somehow, modify it. But so far so good :).

At the time he wrote the sonnet, his wife Anne More had just passed away. This brought on a range of emotions including despair, pessimism, ambiguity, remorse, anger, torment, provocation, love and disgust of the world.
Too many emotions. List at least 3.

According to Donne, who led an active religious life, being a prisoner of God is true freedom and gratification.
Why is it true freedom and gratification? If this a poem you're doing in class as a whole, then you probably wouldn't have to list why it is true freedom and gratification. Up to you

My english isn't too great, but I hope that helped...
 
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bored of sc

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Razizi said:
I may be a bit stingy, but 'good morning' is a waste of time. Start off with a really powerful introduction that will catch the audience's attention.



List examples for the poetic techniques (probably 2 will do :))



This paragraph tends to get boring, listing the lines, quatrains, octaves etc. whilst the audience wouldn't probably care. A few students (if as smart as you ;)) would probably have the same analysis of the sonnet. Somehow, modify it. But so far so good :).



Too many emotions. List at least 3.



Why is it true freedom and gratification? If this a poem you're doing in class as a whole, then you probably wouldn't have to list why it is true freedom and gratification. Up to you

My english isn't too great, but I hope that helped...
Thanks, um true freedom is being prisoner of God since God being under God's control is the ultimate infinity and blissfulness (if that answers your above question).

Cheers again.
 

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