English HELP! (2 Viewers)

[foram]

I need ideas for an 600 - 800 word journeys narrative. I cant think of any good ideas. This is due tomorrow btw, along with a feature article. Screw english.

 

[adrian597]

hmmm sounds like a nice one lol...the best way to go i think its to think about something you are interested in.. maybe a goal of yours and write about it...if you like sports write about a favroustie sport star as someone else

 

[black_kat_meow]

Hahaha, in another thread you claim it is simple to obtain a UAI of over 99 and that you don't consider that high, yet by the looks of it, if you are really struggling with English that much, perhaps that is out of reach?

I would help you if you weren't such an arrogant prick.

And god you're stupid if you have such problems with English but chose to do Extension English.

 

[foram]

Hahaha, in another thread you claim it is simple to obtain a UAI of over 99 and that you don't consider that high, yet by the looks of it, if you are really struggling with English that much, perhaps that is out of reach?

I would help you if you weren't such an arrogant prick.

And god you're stupid if you have such problems with English but chose to do Extension English.

Even if i end up with a scaled mark of 70 in english, I can still get a UAI over 99.

I chose 3U english so i can drop it next year for 4U math. I need 12 units for prelim.

 

[jellybelly59]

Grab ideas from the environment around you or films u watch and alter it so that it becomes your piece of writing foram but most importantly for ur narrative it doesnt have to be super creative or original just stick to the the "journeys" theme, add a bit of "flair and sophistication" in ur writing, make sure all grammar is correct and it should be ok. My teachers tell me that you dont have to be some creative genius to get an A in eng just dont make it sound corny lol oh yerh i dont think ur main character saying "that I will suicide if I get another 'C' in english" will get u an A or B ROFL hahaha most likely ur teacher would freak out and report it to the head teacher or vice principal to get u some help foram lol teachers go all crazy on yucky gory stories because they might think u have some problems at home or something... lol my friend did that and got a D for his writing in yr 10... all we could do was laugh because we knew he was mentally ok

 

[Aerath]

800 words for a narrative is not much. Google any short story.

 

[foram]

You just need to make sure that if the teacher reads the narrative he/she can tell what your concept of journey was, or at least get the jist of it. Because I wrote about 4 drafts, and all of them were trashed as my teacher told me that I didn't have a concept of journey expressed in it, or something like that. And hopefully the one I'm going to hand in tomorrow does, unlike all my drafts.

i just did my narrative. It didn't have anything to do with journeys, so i just stuck the work journeys inside a few times.

I'll start of my feature article now.

Anybody help me with editing my narrative? Don't bother plagarizing off me if you want anything above a C.

He sat still. Dark clouds hung overhead like a bleak grey covering, callously smothering any spark of exhilaration. People walked slowly, as if they formed a viscous mixture of grayness moving uniformly towards some unseen end. They lacked any spark of intelligence, moving like herd animals. Most people were stupid, they struggled in school, they struggled in university, they struggled in their careers, and they struggled through life. Stupidity was a plague on society. Hard work could never make up for a lack of genius. Taking another spiteful glance at the people droning pass, he stood up and checked the bus timetable a third time. He was growing ever more impatient, and the late bus was causing greater agitation with every passing moment.
Some droplets of water fell, allowing for a few seconds of warning before a sheet of rain poured down, with the wind ripping at people. An umbrella blew away, fluttering in the wind before being torn into two pieces. People ran towards covering, filling the space up with their useless bodies. They should just die.
Glaring obsessively at his watch, he willed the time to move faster. Each ticking of the second hand felt like another step towards madness, and the never ceasing progress of time drove him inevitably toward the end of his sanity. Already, his homicidal tendencies were symptoms of his incipient madness.
The bus halted to a stop as people flooded before the bus doors. The people moved in one great flow of flesh, the people were only lumps of flesh... nobody seemed very real anymore, they simply exist only to die. Wearily boarding the bus at the end of the queue, he gazed emptily at seated figures. Society was full of fools, all going in the same direction, on seemingly the same journey. The graffiti lined the bus thoroughly, clearly made by the lower class of society who felt a need to be different by being troublesome. Such people, who were already useless, should have died before they caused trouble. Unemployed people living off welfare wasted tax money.
The engine grunted as it began to drive off again, a short journey home. Predictability was comforting to an extent, but repetitive redundancy grows infuriating over an extended period of time. School was just that. He never learnt much at school, the school taught almost nothing, and so he learnt almost nothing. It was stagnating. The only subject where he needed to learn, could not be learnt, and relied on stupidity instead, one of the few areas where he did not excel at, unlike the rest of his school.
The bus stopped and he got off, glad to remove himself from the concentration of inanity. He felt perpetually bored, as if the pointlessness of most of each day had become a great veil shielding him from all happiness. Walking slowly home, he looked at the shabby near broken-down cars, the carriers of failed journeys. Without those which are inferior, there would not be those which are superior. In a way, he was glad for the existence of idiots, because he was only a genius in comparison to them. Every society needed inferior people for the upper class to feel superior to. Therefore, he reasoned, there was no need to kill all the idiots, although the cleansing would be beneficial to society, because the idiots were the thing which made him what he was.
Approaching his house he began to quicken his pace. His clothing was soaked, and it was clinging to his skin, making him even colder. Walking briskly to the door, he pushed the door bell, and waited for it to open, feeling confident with his genius intelligence. Having matured past his desire to kill all the idiots, he felt that there was no need to be upset with society; things were fine for him the way it was.

 

[selablad]

That was hilarious

 

[foram]

That was hilarious

what was?

 

[selablad]

You

 

[lyounamu]

I am deeply impressed with the complexity & sophistication of your language. I am also highly satisfied with the plot. However, the use of few vocarbulary can be substitued such as 'kill' to make sure that your story sounds reasonably teacher-friendly.

EDIT: Last paragraph was the most hillarious part but the funny thing about it is that it sounded so serious.

 

[foram]

Last paragraph was the most hillarious part but the funny thing about it is that it sounded so serious.

I wrote the whole thing very seriously, i wasn't really trying to make it funny... but if it works i'm happy. I made myself the protagonist in the story.

 

[lyounamu]

I wrote the whole thing very seriously, i wasn't really trying to make it funny... but if it works i'm happy. I made myself the protagonist in the story.

I know. That's the reason it was hillarious. I think that was a perfect narrative. If I was given a similar topic, I would not have been able to write at that level of language complexity, sophistication and plot.

 

[JJBearPaw]

It was so aggressive. It sounded mildly like Hitler talking about the Jews, to me.
Talking about the filth of the world and all.
It was a good story, but it made me angry.

 

[selablad]

I wrote the whole thing very seriously, i wasn't really trying to make it funny... but if it works i'm happy. I made myself the protagonist in the story.

I'm still laughing...!

 

[JJBearPaw]

I'm still laughing...!

It's not about his real beliefs is it?
Cause that is funny...
...and depressing.

 

[lyounamu]

It's not about his real beliefs is it?
Cause that is funny...
...and depressing.

I don't think so.

 

[black_kat_meow]

I don't think so.

Um, yeah it is. The whole thing just stinks of how wonderful he thinks he is. It's completely filled with unnessary long words to try make it sound more impressive. If he has a half decent teacher, they should see straight through it. Otherwise the HSC system is even more flawed than I thought.

Considering how many of you people are whining about how much you hate English and how it shouldn't be compulsory and that (read: you don't like it because you suck at it), as if most of you know what a good story is anyway. I'm appalled anyone would think that was good.

 

[selablad]

It's not good...it could do with a lot of work..but it's HILARIOUS...!

(ps...I actually rather enjoy English, and I certainly don't suck at it )

 

[kaz1]

i reckon my teacher would give that an A she gives anything with complicated language an A