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HELP! How do I write an outstanding personal statement for the Usyd Scholarship?
- Thread starter zhongie
- Start date
Mambomeg
yay! custom!!!
i got one, but i cant remember what i wrote, ummm. hang on, i'll get back to you
Mambomeg
yay! custom!!!
found it! but dont have an electronic copy, so i'll give you the basic gist
BIntro
- Talk about being adaptable, hardworking, enthusiastic, outgoing, friendly etc
- talk about being involved in your community, mention volunteer work etc, any contributions you have made
- talk about your beliefs, as in equality for all, social justice, education being the basis for improving society etc
Your life
- desire to expand horizons, grab opportunities etc, if you have hosted an exchange student, mention that, say if you want to travel etc to broaden your mind, get a balanced outlook on life
- emphasise your independance, ie- by holding part time job etc, being determined to do what you want not what is expected of you, emphasise that the course is what you want to do
- Mention sports involved in, instruments played etc any other extracuricular stuff like art classes, or, i dunno, whatever you do in your spare time
Leadership
Mention leadership roles you have taken on at school, work, scouts etc (eg- if you train new employees at work)
Academic
- school awards etc distinctions etc in science maths, english comps, any thing else you got
- also mention work experience you have undertaken - shows that you are comitted to your chosen career field
future
-where you expect the degree to take you, career interests etc
- if you want to work overseas etc
- if you want to do postgrad work, or research
suck up
- emphasise how you want to study at Sydney above all other uni's coz of its prestige and good reputation, or, if relevant, internship programs etc
-talk about how the scholarship will ease the financial burden and help you focus on your studies
PERSONALISE!!!!!
This is the most important, you need to stand out from the thousands of other applicants who are all just as competitive as you. eg- I talked about all my pets (including my snakes)
You could, i dunno, print it on pretty paper or something, or make it funny, or make it into a poem, or, i dunno, be creative! make sure you stand out so that they are engaged by your application and dont just immediately pass it over.
sorry, i know this is really long, but just a few more hints
- dont whinge, about anything, like how hard your life has been etc, because there is always someone worse off
- dont make stuff up, they;ll be able to tell that you didnt hold down 4 jobs and do volunteer work every weekend and play state netball etc, its gotta be realistic.
thats all, any q's i'd be happy to help, and if anyone else has any other suggestions, thatd be cool!
BIntro
- Talk about being adaptable, hardworking, enthusiastic, outgoing, friendly etc
- talk about being involved in your community, mention volunteer work etc, any contributions you have made
- talk about your beliefs, as in equality for all, social justice, education being the basis for improving society etc
Your life
- desire to expand horizons, grab opportunities etc, if you have hosted an exchange student, mention that, say if you want to travel etc to broaden your mind, get a balanced outlook on life
- emphasise your independance, ie- by holding part time job etc, being determined to do what you want not what is expected of you, emphasise that the course is what you want to do
- Mention sports involved in, instruments played etc any other extracuricular stuff like art classes, or, i dunno, whatever you do in your spare time
Leadership
Mention leadership roles you have taken on at school, work, scouts etc (eg- if you train new employees at work)
Academic
- school awards etc distinctions etc in science maths, english comps, any thing else you got
- also mention work experience you have undertaken - shows that you are comitted to your chosen career field
future
-where you expect the degree to take you, career interests etc
- if you want to work overseas etc
- if you want to do postgrad work, or research
suck up
- emphasise how you want to study at Sydney above all other uni's coz of its prestige and good reputation, or, if relevant, internship programs etc
-talk about how the scholarship will ease the financial burden and help you focus on your studies
PERSONALISE!!!!!
This is the most important, you need to stand out from the thousands of other applicants who are all just as competitive as you. eg- I talked about all my pets (including my snakes)
You could, i dunno, print it on pretty paper or something, or make it funny, or make it into a poem, or, i dunno, be creative! make sure you stand out so that they are engaged by your application and dont just immediately pass it over.
sorry, i know this is really long, but just a few more hints
- dont whinge, about anything, like how hard your life has been etc, because there is always someone worse off
- dont make stuff up, they;ll be able to tell that you didnt hold down 4 jobs and do volunteer work every weekend and play state netball etc, its gotta be realistic.
thats all, any q's i'd be happy to help, and if anyone else has any other suggestions, thatd be cool!
Last edited:
vicksta
Member
Mambomeg, how tha hell did ya fit all of that into 1 A4 page???
Im having so much trouble with mine - I have like 3 pgs atm!!
Also, is it essential that u have heaps of community service, because my careers advisor told me that there are people that go and get like 100 hours of proper community service and stuff - all ive done is stuff like red cross doorknock and clean up australia and 40 hour famine etc..am i screwed??
Im having so much trouble with mine - I have like 3 pgs atm!!
Also, is it essential that u have heaps of community service, because my careers advisor told me that there are people that go and get like 100 hours of proper community service and stuff - all ive done is stuff like red cross doorknock and clean up australia and 40 hour famine etc..am i screwed??
i wrote one a while ago and its in these forums somewhere... not on my comp anymore... but i didn't get any scholarships to sydney... haha nor did i get into sydney law... so yeah, take it with a pinch of salt.zhongie said:
Mambomeg
yay! custom!!!
i had to really squeeze it all in! thats one thing you get good at at uni, being concise (although i obviously havent mastered that art...) It took me a long time to cut mine down, you need to focus on the things that you are most proud of, and the things that will make you look good to the uni, its hard to know what to cut out, believe me, i completely understand!
Dont stress too much about community service, if you havent done it, theres not much you can do about it now. Mention the stuff you have done, like the red cross stuff, you dont have to specify how many hours you spent doing it.
like natstar said, it is partly about how good you are at bullshitting, and partly about how well you can present yourself, and how good you can make yourself sound. heres a hint, get at least 4 or 5 other people to read your statement, different perspectives can really help
i dont know what else to say except good luck!
Dont stress too much about community service, if you havent done it, theres not much you can do about it now. Mention the stuff you have done, like the red cross stuff, you dont have to specify how many hours you spent doing it.
like natstar said, it is partly about how good you are at bullshitting, and partly about how well you can present yourself, and how good you can make yourself sound. heres a hint, get at least 4 or 5 other people to read your statement, different perspectives can really help
i dont know what else to say except good luck!
thaoroxy2001
Bored member
What happens if my teacher lists most of my qualities such as independent, organised etc. and my contributions to the school community in my Reference? would I still have to write them in my Personal statement because my personal statement is sooooo... long!
And the other thing, if you write down your qualities how can you make it sound as though you're not stuck up...because it makes me feel weird when I write stuff about how good I am, it just makes me feel like I'm bragging.
And the other thing, if you write down your qualities how can you make it sound as though you're not stuck up...because it makes me feel weird when I write stuff about how good I am, it just makes me feel like I'm bragging.
nit
Member
It's probably easiest to just stick to the categories listed under no.2 of the application form for the statement, and leave most of the stuff regarding your qualities to your reference from school
Mambomeg
yay! custom!!!
The personal statement kind of goes with and supports what is said in the reference. For example, reference says "independant", personal statement says "has casual job". Reference says "active" personal statement says "played soccer for school".
You dont have to say "i am a wonderful, caring compassionate person", if you put in that you've done charity work or something, that will imply that you are caring and compassionate.
does that make sense? that way you show your qualities without sounding like you are bragging.
You dont have to say "i am a wonderful, caring compassionate person", if you put in that you've done charity work or something, that will imply that you are caring and compassionate.
does that make sense? that way you show your qualities without sounding like you are bragging.
thaoroxy2001
Bored member
Ahhh...I see now
Thanx Mambomeg
Thanx Mambomeg
braindrainedAsh
Journalist
I got on the shortlist for a Sydney Scholarship but then my UAI automatically ruled me out because I wasn't going to get in to the course there anyway lol.
I just found mine on the computer lol.... I'll post it but it is a bit embarassing.... it's really nothing special or anything.
One of the greatest experiences of my life so far has been traveling to Vietnam in 2001 for a Modern History study trip. It made me realize how different life can be, and taught me so much about myself and the world around me. It opened my eyes, made me eager to see more of the world, and made me want to make the world a better place by informing people of realities that are often undisclosed or ignored. It is for this reason that I decided that I wanted to work in the industry which brings information to the public, the media.
Throughout my time at school, I have enjoyed setting myself the goal of obtaining academic success. I have participated in many competitions, achieving credits and distinctions in English, Science and Mathematics competitions. I have also achieved 3 High Distinctions and 2 Distinctions in the Australian National Chemistry Quiz. I have been awarded certificates for coming top in subjects such as Computing Studies, Japanese and Commerce in years 9 and 10, and in Yr 12 have received awards for coming 1st in the internal assessments for English Extension 1, English Extension 2, Mathematics Extension 1, Chemistry, Biology and Modern History. In 2000 I won the prose section of the Albury High School Writing Competition, and was Runner Up in the Poetry section in 2002. My favorite subject is English, as I absolutely love writing.
Outside of school, I participate in many extra curricular activities. I have danced since the age of 3, undertaking the styles of ballet, tap, jazz, contemporary and neo classical. I also study Speech and Drama, passing AMEB grades 1 to 7 with honors. This year, I undertook the practical component of my Associate Diploma of Speech and Drama (ASDA), at the same time as studying for my HSC trials, and passed. I will complete the theoretical component of the Diploma next year. I compete in Speech and Drama at the Albury Wodonga Eisteddfod, winning the Senior Speech and Drama Scholarship in 2000 and 2001, and winning the Open Speech and Drama Championship in 2002, as well as several other awards. I also play the flute, and have passed up to AMEB grade 5.
As a student at Albury High School, I have had the opportunity to participate in many facets of school and community life. I have been on the school debating team since Yr 8, have participated on the Student Representative Council (SRC), have acted as a scribe for students who were sitting the School Certificate, and have voluntarily worked in the school canteen on a weekly basis for a year. As a school prefect in Yr 12 I have been a role model for younger students in the school, and have taken on responsibilities at official ceremonies held throughout the school year. I have also assisted with events such as Yr 7 Orientation, serving refreshments at Parent Teacher Evenings and Sports Carnivals, organizing a barbeque for Yr 7 students and their parents at the Yr 7 Forum night and I am currently on the Graduation Ball Committee. I have collected for, and assisted in organizing school based fundraising initiatives for many charities, such as the Make a Wish Foundation, the Cancer Council and Camp Quality. This year, I was invited by the school to be the special guest speaker at Riverwood Retirement Home’s Anzac Day service. I spoke about the importance of the Anzac legend in shaping Australian culture and attitudes. I have also contributed to activities in the wider community, such as volunteering to assist backstage and selling tickets at the Albury/Wodonga Eisteddfod for many years. Another highlight of my participation in Albury High’s cultural life was being in the band for the school’s 2001 production of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.
My career aspiration, as I mentioned above, is to work in the media industry, either the fields of print or online media. I feel that the BA (Media and Communications) offered by the University of Sydney would give me a broad grounding in media studies that would enable me to be successful in this industry. My experience of editing and compiling the Yr 10 Yearbook, as well as creating web pages for English assignments made me realize that media was an industry where I could combine my love of writing with my numerous other interests, such as arts, history and technology.
But yeah I didn't get the 98 UAI that I needed for BA (media & comm) so I didn't have a chance... but I got shortlisted, I think I was in the top 50 or something. But when I look back on what I wrote it was nothing special really and it's almost embarassing to post it here.
I just found mine on the computer lol.... I'll post it but it is a bit embarassing.... it's really nothing special or anything.
One of the greatest experiences of my life so far has been traveling to Vietnam in 2001 for a Modern History study trip. It made me realize how different life can be, and taught me so much about myself and the world around me. It opened my eyes, made me eager to see more of the world, and made me want to make the world a better place by informing people of realities that are often undisclosed or ignored. It is for this reason that I decided that I wanted to work in the industry which brings information to the public, the media.
Throughout my time at school, I have enjoyed setting myself the goal of obtaining academic success. I have participated in many competitions, achieving credits and distinctions in English, Science and Mathematics competitions. I have also achieved 3 High Distinctions and 2 Distinctions in the Australian National Chemistry Quiz. I have been awarded certificates for coming top in subjects such as Computing Studies, Japanese and Commerce in years 9 and 10, and in Yr 12 have received awards for coming 1st in the internal assessments for English Extension 1, English Extension 2, Mathematics Extension 1, Chemistry, Biology and Modern History. In 2000 I won the prose section of the Albury High School Writing Competition, and was Runner Up in the Poetry section in 2002. My favorite subject is English, as I absolutely love writing.
Outside of school, I participate in many extra curricular activities. I have danced since the age of 3, undertaking the styles of ballet, tap, jazz, contemporary and neo classical. I also study Speech and Drama, passing AMEB grades 1 to 7 with honors. This year, I undertook the practical component of my Associate Diploma of Speech and Drama (ASDA), at the same time as studying for my HSC trials, and passed. I will complete the theoretical component of the Diploma next year. I compete in Speech and Drama at the Albury Wodonga Eisteddfod, winning the Senior Speech and Drama Scholarship in 2000 and 2001, and winning the Open Speech and Drama Championship in 2002, as well as several other awards. I also play the flute, and have passed up to AMEB grade 5.
As a student at Albury High School, I have had the opportunity to participate in many facets of school and community life. I have been on the school debating team since Yr 8, have participated on the Student Representative Council (SRC), have acted as a scribe for students who were sitting the School Certificate, and have voluntarily worked in the school canteen on a weekly basis for a year. As a school prefect in Yr 12 I have been a role model for younger students in the school, and have taken on responsibilities at official ceremonies held throughout the school year. I have also assisted with events such as Yr 7 Orientation, serving refreshments at Parent Teacher Evenings and Sports Carnivals, organizing a barbeque for Yr 7 students and their parents at the Yr 7 Forum night and I am currently on the Graduation Ball Committee. I have collected for, and assisted in organizing school based fundraising initiatives for many charities, such as the Make a Wish Foundation, the Cancer Council and Camp Quality. This year, I was invited by the school to be the special guest speaker at Riverwood Retirement Home’s Anzac Day service. I spoke about the importance of the Anzac legend in shaping Australian culture and attitudes. I have also contributed to activities in the wider community, such as volunteering to assist backstage and selling tickets at the Albury/Wodonga Eisteddfod for many years. Another highlight of my participation in Albury High’s cultural life was being in the band for the school’s 2001 production of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.
My career aspiration, as I mentioned above, is to work in the media industry, either the fields of print or online media. I feel that the BA (Media and Communications) offered by the University of Sydney would give me a broad grounding in media studies that would enable me to be successful in this industry. My experience of editing and compiling the Yr 10 Yearbook, as well as creating web pages for English assignments made me realize that media was an industry where I could combine my love of writing with my numerous other interests, such as arts, history and technology.
But yeah I didn't get the 98 UAI that I needed for BA (media & comm) so I didn't have a chance... but I got shortlisted, I think I was in the top 50 or something. But when I look back on what I wrote it was nothing special really and it's almost embarassing to post it here.
Mambomeg
yay! custom!!!
hey wow thats pretty impressive! *note to self...never attempt to compete against braindrainedash!* hee hee, its funny how u pretty much followed by list of suggestions down to a tee, and we both wrote them ages ago! weird.... spose most ppls were probably pretty similar in format....
Mambomeg
yay! custom!!!
hey wow thats pretty impressive! *note to self...never attempt to compete against braindrainedash!* hee hee, its funny how u pretty much followed by list of suggestions down to a tee, and we both wrote them ages ago! weird.... spose most ppls were probably pretty similar in format....
mervvyn
Marshm'ello
- Joined
- Aug 7, 2004
- Messages
- 537
- Gender
- Male
- HSC
- 2004
wow... that's impressive ash, congrats for being an all-rounder and getting the shortlist 
thaoroxy2001
Bored member
OK then... The personal statement that braindrainedAsh posted is totally different from mine...I'm sooo afraid I did mine wrong. For one thing I didn't write it out formally but listed my achievements...is that wrong?
And the other thing...my careers teacher said not to print your reference in fancy paper coz the judges don't like that...he works with most of the people in the judging panel so he knows... yet my statement looks so plain...I really want to print it in nice paper...should I just do it? I want my statement to stand out.
And the other thing...my careers teacher said not to print your reference in fancy paper coz the judges don't like that...he works with most of the people in the judging panel so he knows... yet my statement looks so plain...I really want to print it in nice paper...should I just do it? I want my statement to stand out.
LadyMoon
Member
- Joined
- Aug 11, 2003
- Messages
- 109
- Location
- Watching over you from the Moon
- Gender
- Undisclosed
- HSC
- 2003
note to Mambomeg: Post once dear
Last edited:
Mambomeg
yay! custom!!!
sorry! i dunno what hapenned there... my comp goes really slow at peak times and sometimes i have to refresh, so maybe it had already posted when i refreshed...oh well!
Replies...
thaoroxy - if your careers teacher said that, listen the them, they obviously know what they are talking about.
Bri - yes it means one sided! (you sneaky thing you)
Replies...
thaoroxy - if your careers teacher said that, listen the them, they obviously know what they are talking about.
Bri - yes it means one sided! (you sneaky thing you
)
braindrainedAsh
Journalist
Yeah it means one sided.... but I used a smaller font and changed the page margins in order to fit more in....
Don't worry if yours is not the same as mine, it's by no means definative.... heck I didn't even win the scholarship lol just got short listed....
Don't worry if yours is not the same as mine, it's by no means definative.... heck I didn't even win the scholarship lol just got short listed....