• YOU can help the next generation of students in the community!
    Share your trial papers and notes on our Notes & Resources page

Help with proposal - my proposal included within (1 Viewer)

stazi

Nightman
Joined
Feb 23, 2003
Messages
14,093
Location
Sydney
Gender
Male
HSC
2004
Hey we need to write 1000 words, but I am having trouble coming up with the number. I'm stuck on 650. Please download, as I think its a very good proposal, but it just lacks words

Post comments
 

AsyLum

Premium Member
Joined
Nov 13, 2002
Messages
15,899
Gender
Undisclosed
HSC
N/A
i can definitely a good start, your paragraphs though are lacking more explanation...they start off but relate it to how it will help or how it will affect your concepts...particularly the basic plot and medium...i think i spent 500 words on that baby since i felt it was immensely important since i did not have content at this point

...

"This supposed bias and prejudice is evident within society through..."

eat up words like that, and is it a limit of 1000 ? remember if you cant write anymore dont force it, it only ends up worse, if its a max of 1000 words your fine, just add a bit more detail and you should have at least 850-900

hope that helped
 

stazi

Nightman
Joined
Feb 23, 2003
Messages
14,093
Location
Sydney
Gender
Male
HSC
2004
thx heaps for the info. I've done a second draft. It's longer this time. I took your advice into account.

Any more feed back guys
 

AsyLum

Premium Member
Joined
Nov 13, 2002
Messages
15,899
Gender
Undisclosed
HSC
N/A
just read it perfect congratulations :)

awaiting this story :)
 

glycerine

so don't even ask me
Joined
Nov 30, 2003
Messages
3,195
Location
Petersham
Gender
Female
HSC
2005
it's pretty good, but when you're talking about stimulus material, you need to talk about WHY it will help you, what aspects, etc.
 

sugaryblue

Living on deficit
Joined
Mar 10, 2003
Messages
1,274
Location
Around the globe
Gender
Female
HSC
2003
It looks pretty good, but what makes me think is that, you've already got a pretty comprehensive storyline. It's probably just my opinion, but it might make the marker thinks that you've already got your entire story plot and that probably doesn't really show what further investigation you are going to do. I think what would be good to add is to explain, how further research and investigation can shape the storyline that you already have eg, further research will strengthen my portrayal of... etc

but that's just my opinion. :)

yay, another person making a video. I was a vidder in 2003. looking forward to seeing your work
 
Last edited:

Users Who Are Viewing This Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 1)

Top