Help with proposal - my proposal included within (1 Viewer)

[stazi]

Hey we need to write 1000 words, but I am having trouble coming up with the number. I'm stuck on 650. Please download, as I think its a very good proposal, but it just lacks words

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[AsyLum]

i can definitely a good start, your paragraphs though are lacking more explanation...they start off but relate it to how it will help or how it will affect your concepts...particularly the basic plot and medium...i think i spent 500 words on that baby since i felt it was immensely important since i did not have content at this point

...

"This supposed bias and prejudice is evident within society through..."

eat up words like that, and is it a limit of 1000 ? remember if you cant write anymore dont force it, it only ends up worse, if its a max of 1000 words your fine, just add a bit more detail and you should have at least 850-900

hope that helped

 

[stazi]

thx heaps for the info. I've done a second draft. It's longer this time. I took your advice into account.

Any more feed back guys

 

[AsyLum]

just read it perfect congratulations

awaiting this story

 

[glycerine]

it's pretty good, but when you're talking about stimulus material, you need to talk about WHY it will help you, what aspects, etc.

 

[sugaryblue]

It looks pretty good, but what makes me think is that, you've already got a pretty comprehensive storyline. It's probably just my opinion, but it might make the marker thinks that you've already got your entire story plot and that probably doesn't really show what further investigation you are going to do. I think what would be good to add is to explain, how further research and investigation can shape the storyline that you already have eg, further research will strengthen my portrayal of... etc

but that's just my opinion.

yay, another person making a video. I was a vidder in 2003. looking forward to seeing your work