lol, love the conclusion! I so wish I could use that in my essay
ok, I'd probably say the essay is on the borderline of band,4-5, but there's not too much work needed in order to push it up further.
your using a bit of logic (or textbook knowledge), and your using economic jargon, but there's just a few tweaks you could add. Like instead of saying "decreased", you could say lowered, pulled down, dropped, etc. Its just a way of keeping their attention, and making sure you sound more sophisticated - just use a greater variety of words. Also, instead of using variable, (when referring to the use of government spending and taxation in fiscal policy), use instruments instead, because that's the correct word for their use.
I personally would've used a different structure, but yours is still acceptable. What you need to do there, is just push some of those paragraphs together, merge some into others, and get rid of others. Your structure, is based on the economic objectives. So your body should be divided up into those objectives. You can spend say the first two paragraphs of the body explaining fiscal and monetary policy if you wish, and then after that, divide the paragraphs, or group of paragraphs, into economic growth, inflation, etc etc. and then meld monetary and fiscal policy into each. that way you demonstrate a degree of logic into your piece.
To add another degree, you need to do what !meeee! says. I think its a little bit hard using the structure you've taken, because you also need to relate to the conflicts between economic objectives, such as improving economic growth and gaining full employment, conflicting with the external balance, or inflation.
Finally, don't go down right to the very very basics - i.e. don't bother defining the terms, such as what inflation is, etc. Rather, explain what effect they have, how macroeconomic policy affects it, and the consequences, not just on that particular issue, but on other issues. You don't need to do the last step all the time, but somewhere in the essay, you should be showing what the overall effect is over the entire economy.
That's about it really. looks promising though!
