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Modern History Final Solution Essay (1 Viewer)

alyssaclissold

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if anyone could give me a couple of pointers on my essay. our question is
"assess the claim that the final solution evolved and was not part of a long term plan for the extermination of the jews"
I've taken the intentionalist side which is basically stating that Hitler planned to murder the jews from the beginning.
obviously please don't plagiarise.
 

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Evertone

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You've probably handed this in by now, but I'll go ahead anyway.

I think you have developed your argument strongly although more evidence is needed.

There are a few things I'd like to point out in a grammatical/syntactical sense.
1. 'Intentionalists' is spelt with an apostrophe. I'm not sure if that's correct.
2. '... “removed from Europe” whilst writing this book in 1920, intentionalist historians agree ...' This doesn't quite make sense. That requires some revision. It sounds as if intentionalists began discussing the theory in 1920. If they actually did I apologise.
3. "'treat’ or more obviously, ..." Replace obviously with evidently.
4. 'Friedlander in his book Nazi Germany and the Jews, states...' italicise the name of his book.
5. 'imagined victory,' I think 'titular victory' would be more appropriate.
6. 'kill 3 birds with one stone,' type out 3 as 'three'.
7. 'Intentionalist’s hence see this as a straight road to Auschwitz' I think it would sound better as 'Intentionalists therefore saw this as a..'
8. 'Hitler was an all-powerful dictator whose' replace all-powerful with omnipotent.
9. 'extremely smart dictator,' replace 'smart' with astute or conniving.

I am not sure about the word limit but your conclusion needs some development. Other than that, it's a quite well-rounded essay.
 

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