Haku
Member
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2004
- Messages
- 779
I know there is 18days to go. But any criticisms and long comments are appreciated.
I once wondered how far I could ride with out looking back. It was my country rural childhood. I did not know what I was trying to prove back then, on my blue bike I rode. It was maybe through an inner compulsion that kept me going, but some how I would always stop short and turn back. Maybe if I didn’t, I snicker to myself almost bitterly now, I would have circled the globe.
My father was a kind, smiling and sincere man with frail age-sodden hands. He was frail but would always smile at me with soft blue eyes which embrace me with warmth and joy. Misfortune hit with almost cruel swiftness. On his last night in that sterile hospital cubicle which had come to instill so much sadness and sorrow in my young naïve mind. He gripped my hands with never displayed strength, and said with a stern voice before my tearful face, “Look after your mother”.
With out dreams or other directions in life, I took on this mission. Yet I always knew the inevitable would happen. The stranger my mother introduced to me was completely opposite to my dad. He was loud and energetic, but he would smile kindly at my mother and me. But I was never comfortable near him. Thus my only mission and direction was taken away with out resistance or fight.
Time trickled by with almost agonizingly speed, like the migrating birds I observed from the window of the dorm year after year. Year after year, I wonder to myself - where is that world they are flying towards? Why they choose to take on this arduous journey. Somewhere in my mind I knew the answer, they have their own world to go to. I would then wonder about my own life. Though I have finished University, consecutive failed job interviews tore what is left of me to shreds. It was my inner self I was never able to place, a world that solely belonged to me.
Once more I was on my bike, with no directions I rode. Through grass lands and black mess, riding towards the orb hanging in the sky, or sometimes the bright orb press on behind me like a warm hand pushing me, keeping me on the path. I think they call this kind of journeys soul-searching trip, a trip with no purpose or intent.
I learned many things. You find your self always hungry on a journey, and if not eating at least 5 times a day I wouldn’t get the energy to ride. Though we live in a vast bountiful world with immense beautiful space and comfort, I could not fathom why people cannot sleep peacefully unless it is next to an unyielding concrete block or a weathered tree. Without looking back I rode across landscapes, azure oceans and mountains.
Riding through an underground tunnel, I never knew trucks drove so close in the tunnels. I screamed and screamed. Among those pathetic screams I came to understood that I have always being afraid. I was afraid because I couldn’t see the future. I was afraid because I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I was afraid of my self who didn’t know what he wanted to do. And days just kept on flowing. If I keep going down this unilluminated path will I be able to see it? In the distance a life giving beam of light shined through the mouth of the tunnel.
“Maybe someday even I can see it.”
any comment is appreciated. thanks.
it is 588 (now) words, is it still too short?
I once wondered how far I could ride with out looking back. It was my country rural childhood. I did not know what I was trying to prove back then, on my blue bike I rode. It was maybe through an inner compulsion that kept me going, but some how I would always stop short and turn back. Maybe if I didn’t, I snicker to myself almost bitterly now, I would have circled the globe.
My father was a kind, smiling and sincere man with frail age-sodden hands. He was frail but would always smile at me with soft blue eyes which embrace me with warmth and joy. Misfortune hit with almost cruel swiftness. On his last night in that sterile hospital cubicle which had come to instill so much sadness and sorrow in my young naïve mind. He gripped my hands with never displayed strength, and said with a stern voice before my tearful face, “Look after your mother”.
With out dreams or other directions in life, I took on this mission. Yet I always knew the inevitable would happen. The stranger my mother introduced to me was completely opposite to my dad. He was loud and energetic, but he would smile kindly at my mother and me. But I was never comfortable near him. Thus my only mission and direction was taken away with out resistance or fight.
Time trickled by with almost agonizingly speed, like the migrating birds I observed from the window of the dorm year after year. Year after year, I wonder to myself - where is that world they are flying towards? Why they choose to take on this arduous journey. Somewhere in my mind I knew the answer, they have their own world to go to. I would then wonder about my own life. Though I have finished University, consecutive failed job interviews tore what is left of me to shreds. It was my inner self I was never able to place, a world that solely belonged to me.
Once more I was on my bike, with no directions I rode. Through grass lands and black mess, riding towards the orb hanging in the sky, or sometimes the bright orb press on behind me like a warm hand pushing me, keeping me on the path. I think they call this kind of journeys soul-searching trip, a trip with no purpose or intent.
I learned many things. You find your self always hungry on a journey, and if not eating at least 5 times a day I wouldn’t get the energy to ride. Though we live in a vast bountiful world with immense beautiful space and comfort, I could not fathom why people cannot sleep peacefully unless it is next to an unyielding concrete block or a weathered tree. Without looking back I rode across landscapes, azure oceans and mountains.
Riding through an underground tunnel, I never knew trucks drove so close in the tunnels. I screamed and screamed. Among those pathetic screams I came to understood that I have always being afraid. I was afraid because I couldn’t see the future. I was afraid because I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I was afraid of my self who didn’t know what he wanted to do. And days just kept on flowing. If I keep going down this unilluminated path will I be able to see it? In the distance a life giving beam of light shined through the mouth of the tunnel.
“Maybe someday even I can see it.”
any comment is appreciated. thanks.
it is 588 (now) words, is it still too short?
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