- - - - signing school shirts (1 Viewer)

ben

Member
Joined
Jul 9, 2002
Messages
489
hmm... i'm racking my brain trying to think of something witty to write on other people's shirts.

any suggestions to trigger some ideas?
 

Lazarus

Retired
Joined
Jul 6, 2002
Messages
5,965
Location
CBD
Gender
Male
HSC
2001
Here are a few that were written on mine -

* I think, therefore I am a nerd
* You turn my software into hardware
* Dear Bill Gates: Best of luck with the whole world domination thing
* I would go out with you if you were a girl
* I only knock you cos I like you
* I like vaginas
* We must speak of your audacity!
* Insane in the mainframe
* I really do like your haircut
* Not just a 3.5 inch floppy

Hmm. I'd forgotten about some of those. =P
 

ben

Member
Joined
Jul 9, 2002
Messages
489
ROFL! :p

Some general quotes:

"Been there. Done that. Reincarnated."

"What's all this about hellfire and Dalmatians?"

"Veni, vidi, Velcro: I came, I saw, I stuck around."

"Got a 486 for my wife -- good trade."

"The four food groups: Fast, Frozen, Instant and Chocolate."

"What this country needs is a good 5-cent quarter."

"Neutrinos have mass? I didn't even know they're Catholic!"

"I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac."

"I know it all, I just can't remember most of it."

"If reality wants to get in touch, it knows where I am."

"Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!"

"Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now."

"Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies."

"System error - press F13 to continue."

"No, I'm not an elitist. Why do you ask, peasant?"

"Did you expect mere proof to sway my opinion?"

"Smokey the Bear says, "Strip mining prevents forest fires."

"Quoth the Raven, 'Eat my shorts!"'

"The most affectionate creature is the wet dog."

"I was born alive. Isn't that punishment enough?"

"Computing is a terminal condition."

"My superiority complex is better than yours!"

"`Hey, can I get something to drink?' -- Socrates"

"`I drank what?' -- Socrates"

"Everything's falling into place - on top of me."

"I won't rise to the occasion, but I'll slide over to it."

"Boldly going forward because we can't find reverse."

"Karaoke is the Japanese word for `tone deaf.'"

"What is a `free gift?' Aren't all gifts free?"

"A manager does the thing right. A leader does the right thing.

"The secret of teaching is to appear to have known all your life what you learned this afternoon.

"What do you do when you discover an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?

"Being in debt is one way of proving that is possible to have less than nothing."

"Do witches run spell checkers? "

"My brother sent me a postcard the other day with this big satellite photo of the entire earth on it. On the back it said: 'Wish you were here.'"

"One business author recently estimated the average American encounters something like 2,000 sales messages a day."

"Confidence is the feeling you get just before you fully understand the problem. "

"My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them."

"The Concorde was great. It travels at twice the speed of sound. Which is fun except you can't hear the movie till two hours after you land. "

"Progress doesn't enlighten people -- it just makes them stupid in new ways."

"My father built a quicksand box in our back yard. I was an only child, eventually."

"One of the worst of my many faults is that I'm too critical of myself. "

"If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?"

"Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?"

"One thing the inventors can't seem to get the bugs out of is fresh paint. "

"My friend Winnie is a procrastinator. He didn't get his birthmark until he was eight years old."

"Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?"
 
Last edited:

ben

Member
Joined
Jul 9, 2002
Messages
489
still searching for a perfect one - i think I need to be creative
 

Lazy

Old Bastard
Joined
Sep 9, 2002
Messages
673
Location
Bathurst
Gender
Male
HSC
2002
Well i also have some funny quotes and shit....:gridnod: :gridnod:

To me, it's always a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?," you can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."

If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like I am now.

Whenever you read a good book, it's like the author is right there, in the room, talking to you, which is why I don't like to read good books.

I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.

I remember how my Great Uncle Jerry would sit on the porch and whittle all day long. Once he whittled me a toy boat out of a larger toy boat I had. It was almost as good as the first one, except now it had bumpy whittle marks all over it. And no paint, because he had whittled off the paint.

Children need encouragement. So if a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way, he develops a good, lucky feeling.

Even though he was an enemy of mine, I had to admit that what he had accomplished was a brilliant piece of strategy. First, he punched me, then he kicked me, then he punched me again.

If your kid makes one of those little homemade guitars out of a cigar box and rubber bands, don't let him just play it once or twice and then throw it away. Make him practice on it, every day, for about three hours a day. Later, he'll thank you.

I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then when somebody comes up act like they just woke up and go, "What was THAT?!"

I hope that after I die, people will say of me: ``That guy sure owed me a lot of money.''

To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kinda scary. I've wondered where this started, and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus and a clown killed my dad.

I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.

I wish I had a kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away

If I was the head of a country that lost a war, and I had to sign a peace treaty, just as I was signing I'd glance over the treaty and then suddenly act surprised. "Wait a minute! I thought WE won!"

If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have to say.

I think a cute movie idea would be about a parrot who is raised by eagles. It would be cute because the parrot can't seem to act like an eagle. After a while, though, to keep the movie from getting boring, maybe put in some pornography. Later, we see the happy parrot flying along, acting like an eagle. He see two parrots below and starts to attack, but it's his parents. Then, some more pornography.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Dont ask me why i posted all those, i was bored and they crack me up for some reason. Theres about 45 pages of them....
 

ben

Member
Joined
Jul 9, 2002
Messages
489
Originally posted by Dumbarse
"stay in school"

"(Principals name) was here.." then an arrow pointing to the persons a-hole
ROFL at that second one!! good idea.
 

Users Who Are Viewing This Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 1)

Top