terrible classical music jokes (1 Viewer)

[philphie]

they're all terrible actually, man i am going to get so much shit for this and will be the only proper poster.


ITT: tards.



how do cellists greet their mothers? "Yo yo, Ma!"

 

[ClockworkSoldier]

Hahaha... I hate these jokes.

When is the only time you'll see a bassist wearing a suit?

At his own court case.

 

[Absolutezero]

What did the classical musician say after he was booed off the stage?

I'll be bach.

 

[ClockworkSoldier]

What did Beethoven say to his mum when she told him to clean his room?

"Na na na naaaaaaaaa..."

 

[philphie]

lol ok.


k here's one. i type in google search engine 'violist virtuoso' then google asks me 'did you mean violinist virtuoso'


ok here's another joke.






suzuki method.

 

[Absolutezero]

When a classical musician goes fishing, what do they catch?

Perfect Herring

 

[ClockworkSoldier]

these are my favourite type of jokes you stupid penks

Lol.

 

[philphie]

what do you call a string quartet? conductor rejects

 

[philphie]

first musician: Who was that piccolo I saw you with last night? second musician: That was no piccolo, that was my fife.

 

[ClockworkSoldier]

first musician: Who was that piccolo I saw you with last night? second musician: That was no piccolo, that was my fife.

*Pulls out shotgun*

 

[philphie]

what do you call an orchestra that has viola players?

a sympathy orchestra

 

[philphie]

A note left for a pianist from his wife: Gone Chopin, (have Liszt), Bach in a Minuet.

 

[philphie]

what do you call a conductor wearing a cape and a beard?

a wizard

 

[ClockworkSoldier]

Are you on google? Lol.

 

[philphie]

haha no. a lot of the ones i have said have benn passed around for ages and are quite well known except the wizard one which i just made up

 

[philphie]

i remember as a kid all we ever had were viola jokes

 

[ClockworkSoldier]

Lol, I have a few from a few years of being in the choir for the Sydney Celebration Concert... But they are so bad that I dun wanna post them lol.

 

[philphie]

lol who cares, this is what the thread is for.


how do you stop guitarists from playing so loud?

give them sheet music.

 

[philphie]

how do you know when a percussionist is knowcking on your door?

it is overwhelmingly loud and out of time

 

[ClockworkSoldier]

Conductor tells guitarist, "Mark in the semi-quaver in bar 32 as staccato."

Guitarist says; "Put it on my tab?"

That's very much an 'in' joke lol.