Is smacking a child ever acceptable? (2 Viewers)

John McCain

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Is smacking a child an indefensible act of abuse against the most vulnerable in society, or does it teach children important lessons about how power structures operate in the adult world?

It seems to me that smacking is often applied because it is convenient to the parent. It's simple, quick and sends a strong message. I've heard it argued that smacking is justified because the busy pace of a modern parents lifestyle demands that an uncooperative child's behavior be addressed swiftly.

This is a ghastly justification imo. We don't consider it acceptable to violently lash out against others who inconvenience us during our day, so why should our children be any exception? Impatience doesn't justify violence.

The implicit admission by a parent that they are too time poor or impatient to implement a gentler and more humane punishment reflects a failing on the parents behalf, or on the behalf of the systems in the world we live which are not sufficiently accommodating to the parents needs, and in no way justifies the violence against the child.

On witnessing a child misbehaving in public, we've all found ourselves thinking about how the parent is doing a disservice to that child by not correcting their behavior, and you may have found yourself entertaining thoughts of how a smack would be beneficial to the child.

There is an assumption in society that an arbitrarily determined "appropriate" level of violence against a child is a parents right.

Having experienced violence and trauma from a young age, we are all as children socialized to accept the power structures that exist in society, and that it is the right of authority figures, in this case parents, and later in life others such as teachers, the police, to violently rebuke us when we disobey their rules and systems, which we did not choose to participate in.

Because we've been hurt by this abuse, we repress our feelings of hurt towards our parents by embracing the absurd popular fantasy that this abuse was beneficial to us as a child. We are scared, threatened and jealous of the anarchic, free personalities of children, because we were abused and denied the freedom to feel that same way. Our own innocence was stolen from us, we are justifiably bitter and confused about this, so we take it out on the only people who have no power and voice to resist.

Undoubtedly hitting a child can be effective at changing their behavior. But given the number of dysfunctional adults and teens that come from families where they were regularly physically punished, it seems unreliable and dangerous as a treatment

I think the use of physical violence against children must be justified as in some way beneficial to the child, in ways that other punishments are not.

What does hitting a child really teach them? That those with power are entitled to inflict violence and control? That they are inferior to everyone else around them who is not forced to suffer physical violence?

If we accept smacking a child is wrong, it raises the question of what is appropriate punishment for a child? Can you be certain other, psychological punishments, such as sensory deprivation, are any less harmful to a child?

/here endeth the longest post
 

Bootawa_Boy

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Yer little smack around the ears never hurt me im here respect my parents and are about do my HSC
 
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Yes, parents need to teach them the difference between acceptable and unacceptable and at a young age talking to them often wont do any good. Smacks send a clear message of 'No' and cause no lasting damage to the child mentally or physically provided the parent isn't a basherfag and doesn't abuse their right to punish their child beyond a reasonable level. If you are unaware to what a reasonable level is, plox drown yourself to remove your genes from the pool.
 

mcflystargirl

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depends on the context chrildren learn by concequenses, if a child i playing up a smack on the hand or bottom is an appropriate punishment if used wisely, i believe this needs to be followed with a good sit down talk as to why they recieved that smack.
 
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Ah, yes, sit down talk. Should have mentioned that eh, good one mcfly.
 

loquasagacious

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If we accept smacking a child is wrong, it raises the question of what is appropriate punishment for a child? Can you be certain other, psychological punishments, such as sensory deprivation, are any less harmful to a child
Good thread and I will respond in full when I get a chance. In the meantime I just wanted to comment that sensory deprivation actually sounds much more extreme than a smack....
 

John McCain

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The core of it, is that there seems to be this idea that we should make our children conform to the norms of society by whatever means necessary.

A smack around the head is a pretty brief and accurate primer for life tbh. That's how life is, everyone is going to try to fuck with you, you better learn to take crap without complaining if you want to live in this society.

This is what I feel smacking teaches. It's good practical advice if you want to live in contemporary society, keep your head down and not get arrested. But it still sucks ethically.

Ideally society would be different to accommodate the loudness and exuberance of children, and there would be ample support and flexibility available so parents would never feel rushed or pressured when dealing with their children.
 

John McCain

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Yes, parents need to teach them the difference between acceptable and unacceptable and at a young age talking to them often wont do any good.
Smacking is far from the only option. Words are effective at any age. You can take away toys, isolate them by themselves, dope their food etc...

Smacks send a clear message of 'No' and cause no lasting damage to the child mentally
How do you know? Influences on a child's development are subtle. It might not 'damage' them in the sense of serious psychological illness, but they may be less happy later in life.

If you are unaware to what a reasonable level is, plox drown yourself to remove your genes from the pool.
Why is it ever reasonable when there is a non-violent alternative?

In the meantime I just wanted to comment that sensory deprivation actually sounds much more extreme than a smack....
I just felt like using that phrase, I was thinking in the sense of taking away their toys. But sending them to bed early, effectively trapping them in a darkened room, would be kind of sensory deprivation?
 

David Spade

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graney, somewhat related, did you rape a girl while posing as an insulation salesman lol?
 

ay0_x

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No.

Never acceptable.

A child will cry if it wants to. They'll grow out of it. I don't see why you have to traumatize them with memories of being smacked. Because it does hurt, and it is remembered; no matter what anybody says.

I'm sick of the public bitching "oh parents need to smack their kids for screaming in the shops". Society's gotten so ridiculously heartless it's absofuckinglutely sickening. It's animalistic and it shows that you have no other strategies to deal with a misbehaving child.

I do hope your sons grow big enough to smack you one day. I will sit back and laugh.

[endrant]
 

John McCain

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graney, somewhat related, did you rape a girl while posing as an insulation salesman lol?
lol

I have no words. This was in the news?

I forgot to leave someone's downlights uncovered today which probably would have burned down the house if my teammate hadn't pointed it out.
 

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