How belonging related is this? (2 Viewers)

[hayabusaboston]

I had a creative writing assessment task for english today, the stimulus was this audio thing and teacher said we had to use one of the themes in the audio thing or some connection to it in our piece about belonging. the title of the audio was "rain from nowhere" which was actually some poem written by some guy, and our story had to be called rain from nowhere too.

So basically I chose to write about a guy who was living a life on both sides of a coin, his family leads a lifestyle so foreign to him he cant adapt, and his only solace is in the outside world. Not only that, as a growing young adult his search for love is fruitless, and causes him great sadness and depression. To try and allay this, his parents constantly ask out girls to dinner for him and hope that he might perhaps like this particular girl that they've chosen. he likes none of them though.

THe bold is a paraphrase of what is actually said in the story. The story is written like this, the guy just about to enter a restaurant for the umpteenth time to meet yet another girl his parents have invited, and standing outside he reminisces of his life, contextualising the story for the audience. Then he goes in and has dinner, meeting the new girl but not paying much attention to her that much. Blah blah blah throughout the dinner and then it ends, the parents say bye and walk off, then he turns to look at the girl, and only really makes proper eye contact with her then. He gets a proper look at her and instantly falls in love. His depression, lonesomeness and isolation are washed away as he finds his soulmate.

thats the gist of it. how belonging related do u think it sounds?

 

[2xL]

Avoid teen angst/love stories when it comes to HSC English. Just my 2c.

 

[nerdasdasd]

I had a creative writing assessment task for english today, the stimulus was this audio thing and teacher said we had to use one of the themes in the audio thing or some connection to it in our piece about belonging. the title of the audio was "rain from nowhere" which was actually some poem written by some guy, and our story had to be called rain from nowhere too.

So basically I chose to write about a guy who was living a life on both sides of a coin, his family leads a lifestyle so foreign to him he cant adapt, and his only solace is in the outside world. Not only that, as a growing young adult his search for love is fruitless, and causes him great sadness and depression. To try and allay this, his parents constantly ask out girls to dinner for him and hope that he might perhaps like this particular girl that they've chosen. he likes none of them though.

THe bold is a paraphrase of what is actually said in the story. The story is written like this, the guy just about to enter a restaurant for the umpteenth time to meet yet another girl his parents have invited, and standing outside he reminisces of his life, contextualising the story for the audience. Then he goes in and has dinner, meeting the new girl but not paying much attention to her that much. Blah blah blah throughout the dinner and then it ends, the parents say bye and walk off, then he turns to look at the girl, and only really makes proper eye contact with her then. He gets a proper look at her and instantly falls in love. His depression, lonesomeness and isolation are washed away as he finds his soulmate.

thats the gist of it. how belonging related do u think it sounds?

Too cliched and overdone, many movies have this storyline....

 

[nifkeh]

sounds pretty related

 

[Syrrah]

It definitely sounds related to belonging/not belonging with the whole conflict over his family vs outside life. However, it is cliche and predictable. The conflict gives you plenty of things to elaborate and expand on, yet you choose to end it simply by him finding his love instantly? It is romantic, I guess but it's easy and I wouldn't bank on it scoring very well unless you have exceptional writing skills.

 

[nifkeh]

yeah, markers don't really like cliche and predictable stories- if you're looking for a 14/15 or 15/15 then this might prevent you from reaching it. But however, you do need to integrate the stimulus into the story somehow,but since it's about rain don't be like making a whole story about rain and being sad and not belonging lol because there's probably 1000 others in the state doing that too

 

[hayabusaboston]

Thanks for feedback gaiz

 

[hayabusaboston]

I just think though that pretty much everything is frickin cliche nowadays. Fuck cliche. Assessments in english assess (or rather SHOULD assess) SKILL IN WRITING not the fucking content. Sigh. STUPID CLICHE. omg.

 

[Absolutezero]

I just think though that pretty much everything is frickin cliche nowadays. Fuck cliche. Assessments in english assess (or rather SHOULD assess) SKILL IN WRITING not the fucking content. Sigh. STUPID CLICHE. omg.

Yeah, isn't it shocking that the creativity section wants you to be original. How terrible.

 

[enoilgam]

They arent expecting some groundbreaking piece on a topic which few writers have dared to cover - you just need some creativity to the story.

 

[hayabusaboston]

Yeah, isn't it shocking that the creativity section wants you to be original. How terrible.

The thing is you CANT really be 100 percent original that easily anymore, almost anything you think of has a high chance of already being written about sometime in human history.

 

[enoilgam]

The thing is you CANT really be 100 percent original that easily anymore, almost anything you think of has a high chance of already being written about sometime in human history.

There are only a few musical notes, but endless amounts of melodies can be created from them. You can take an old idea and put a fresh spin on it, or take something from multiple genres etc.

 

[hayabusaboston]

There are only a few musical notes, but endless amounts of melodies can be created from them. You can take an old idea and put a fresh spin on it, or take something from multiple genres etc.

Exactly, "Take an old idea" or "take something from multiple genres"
THis emphasises my point, its hard to have your OWN idea which is distinct from anything written previously.

 

[enoilgam]

Exactly, "Take an old idea" or "take something from multiple genres"
THis emphasises my point, its hard to have your OWN idea which is distinct from anything written previously.

You are creating something new, from an old concept.

 

[hayabusaboston]

You are creating something new, from an old concept.

Ahhh bleh okay I guess you're right. If my teachers mark me down for being cliche though thats fucking unfair, cos the whole point of the assessment is not to get assessed on how well your story agrees with the teachers opinion of how your story SHOULD be. I wont complain either way. All I know is, 99.95 dreams are gone, I do not wish to spend so much time in my life on HSC english. HSC plan is, high band 6's for all, band 4 or 5 english adv. If I manage that then yay. Sigh.

 

[theind1996]

lolol

 

[Absolutezero]

To get back to your original story though, if you push it to focus on the idea of arranged marriage (or similar) and the cultural differences between the parents and the boy, I wouldn't say that was cliché. I think it's a nice take on the idea of romance and family.

 

[ChrisMueller]

Hey dude,

Yeah, love-based stories are cliché; avoid them because they are, by definition, not creative.

If your stimulus is the poem I'm thinking, 'Rain From Nowhere' by Murray Hartin, you should adapt what it says about belonging.

I have just read the poem and the one thing I got from it was belonging to family.

Unfortunately, that's another HSC grey area; stories like that are quite cliché.

If you're out of ideas, turn it on its head. Someone who lives in the city who just wants a break and feels like they don't belong to family.

Remember, belonging is a multi-layered concept and you can use whatever you want from it.

All the best
PM if you need any further guidance.

 

[ChrisMueller]

The thing is you CANT really be 100 percent original that easily anymore, almost anything you think of has a high chance of already being written about sometime in human history.

Correct. So change something small; make it seem original.

 

[LoveHateSchool]

I just think though that pretty much everything is frickin cliche nowadays. Fuck cliche. Assessments in english assess (or rather SHOULD assess) SKILL IN WRITING not the fucking content. Sigh. STUPID CLICHE. omg.

If using creativity isn't a skill, how come one as yourself, struggles with this?

Your story's plot is superficial and cliche.

*insert enoil's analogy about the music* You should brainstorm things you have been inspired by or experienced, and tweak it to create a more original piece.