Is high school a jungle? (1 Viewer)

[nomi]

My 12 year old son just started high school – year 7 in a mediocre public school (boys only). It’s not the best public school but its not the worst (or the roughest). The school is ranked around 200 in HSC ranking.

The way I have brought up my son – his manners are impeccable and he has immense respect for authority. He is well spoken and I have raised him to understand that swearing & filthy language is not acceptable in our home. His parents don’t swear and he shouldn’t either – no matter what the situation. At the same time, he is fairly strong – can stand up for himself and is not afraid to speak up if something is not right.

He has now been at high school for 5 months. He is struggling – not academically but with the environment at high school. He said boys swear openly in playground, filthy language is rife in the playground and older boys randomly bully (push & shove) younger kids. He is starting to hate school. He does not like the environment where kids don’t care about study, are poor mannered and are rough. I am quite worried now. Did I bring up my son too well mannered? Is he a misfit in this society?

Dilemma: Should I change his school? He did not make it to selective school. He is an average kid academically and was not able to get into a selective school.

What do I do? Should I enrol him in a private school? Which one? I can’t afford the really expensive ones like Newington. Catholic schools maybe?

Can I have some feedback from those that went to public high schools? Is it a jungle? Do things get better in later years?

As you can see, I have a lot of questions. I am confused and worried for my son.

Any feedback would be much appreciated.

 

[turntaker]

The thing is, you have to realise that regardless of the school, there will always be students who swear, misbehave and do other things that your son might not be used to.
In my early years of high school, I did not enjoy it as much as later years. I am sure your son will get used to the environment and distance himself from people that are not his type. He will find his own group and fit in quite well.

So in my opinion, changing school won't help this situation.

 

[si2136]

Changing schools won't work.

Every school has these issues, either physical issues or psychological issues.

 

[Silly Sausage]

What about moving to a school that's not all boys?

Most people grow out of it by YR 10.

 

[Flop21]

My 12 year old son just started high school – year 7 in a mediocre public school (boys only). It’s not the best public school but its not the worst (or the roughest). The school is ranked around 200 in HSC ranking.

The way I have brought up my son – his manners are impeccable and he has immense respect for authority. He is well spoken and I have raised him to understand that swearing & filthy language is not acceptable in our home. His parents don’t swear and he shouldn’t either – no matter what the situation. At the same time, he is fairly strong – can stand up for himself and is not afraid to speak up if something is not right.

He has now been at high school for 5 months. He is struggling – not academically but with the environment at high school. He said boys swear openly in playground, filthy language is rife in the playground and older boys randomly bully (push & shove) younger kids. He is starting to hate school. He does not like the environment where kids don’t care about study, are poor mannered and are rough. I am quite worried now. Did I bring up my son too well mannered? Is he a misfit in this society?

Dilemma: Should I change his school? He did not make it to selective school. He is an average kid academically and was not able to get into a selective school.

What do I do? Should I enrol him in a private school? Which one? I can’t afford the really expensive ones like Newington. Catholic schools maybe?

Can I have some feedback from those that went to public high schools? Is it a jungle? Do things get better in later years?

As you can see, I have a lot of questions. I am confused and worried for my son.

Any feedback would be much appreciated.

You'll have to check out the reputation of your local schools. You're catholic school might be better, or it might be the same. Maybe check the rankings of the schools to find this out. If there's a better one, say a catholic one, yeah switch schools.

Otherwise he'll obviously have to deal with this school. Does his school not have an extension class? E.g. the top class? There's usually a small group of people that like doing well and are a good crowd to get in with.

And simply tell him to focus on his studies so maybe in the next fews years he can get into a selective.

 

[Flop21]

Changing schools won't work.

Every school has these issues, either physical issues or psychological issues.

I don't know about that. My high school when I started was pretty rough and this was mainly due to the older year group being a bunch of rough idiots. But as the years went on they left and more good kids came in, and eventually the majority were not rough idiots anymore and the whole environment was a LOT different.

OP's kid does sound a bit sheltered, but I'm not sure if the kid is just has little social skills (did he have many friends in HS?), or the school is really the issue.

But in my school we had the top class which was filled with normal people who appreciated their grades and were somewhat competitive, so we all did pretty well. There should be a class like that at OP's kid's school.

 

[Chronost]

lol exact copy of this posted on Whirpool, all he's gotta do is make some friends and not be put off by the swearing, I used to be just like your kid, I really hated swearing but at the same time if someone else swore, it's like yeah okay, not my problem. I think he's reacting too much about petty things, tell him to just ignore all this stuff and focus on having fun and studying with friends.

Also go co-ed, unless it's a top boys school.

 

[Dragon9000]

lol exact copy of this posted on Whirpool, all he's gotta do is make some friends and not be put off by the swearing, I used to be just like your kid, I really hated swearing but at the same time if someone else swore, it's like yeah okay, not my problem. I think he's reacting too much about petty things, tell him to just ignore all this stuff and focus on having fun and studying with friends.

At any school, this isn't going to get any better until the rest of the year is mature which is usually year 10-11. Just focus on the studies, and find some like-minded people.

 

[BandSixFix]

move out of muslimland or chinkland

What? That has no relevance and is pretty offensive.

 

[Red_of_Head]

Welcome to high school.

For what it's worth, I went to a private school with the same sort of environment and had a similar mindset to your son (at first). I personally think it's part of the learning process. A lot of kids in your son's year will be feeling the same way. It got easier to deal with as I went on and got sorted into classes, took electives, dropkicks left and I made friends. I absolutely hated the first 2-3 years of high school, but each year got better.

You grow up a lot during high school, and if bad language is all you have to worry about you're doing pretty good.

As mentioned above, everyone calms down after the first year or two. By the senior years, our entire cohort was mostly amicable towards one another. People start to value learning once they start taking subjects they're interested in, put into classes that match their abilities and/or the threat of HSC is looming over them.

This is all just my opinion/experience. I think it would be good to ask your son what he thinks, as he is the one who will be most affected by the decision.

 

[buckskinbrumby]

I'm at a Christian private school, and swearing's around all the time (just not so much around teachers haha). Most of our year's on drugs and drinking every other night, but as a year group we've all matured a lot and so we just get on with our work and whatever. It is a process of personal maturity and working out where you stand and what friends you'll have/people you won't hang around. Takes guts to move groups tho.
In terms of being worried about other kids not studying, their mucking their lives up and he can't do anything about that, it's their choice. Highschool's about growing up (as well as school), it's just something everyone has to do at some point and some people take longer than others....a lot longer

 

[Kolmias]

No offence OP, but if you care that much about your little darling cherub being exposed to such uncouth characters, you might as well wrap the kid in bubblewrap and home achool them.

 

[Green Yoda]

My school is probably one of the worst schools in terms of behaviour. I have an really close friend that has never swore or done anything bad...it's just how she was brought up. I only have many other friends who rarely swear and it's mostly dependent in how they have been brought up..if the duxi point is strict, then a student morality should remain as it is wherever they are in life.

 

[Orwell]

It's like a jungle sometimes,
It makes me wonder how I keep from goin' under.