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WertL

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TLDR, my friend has a 2 paragraph split module A essay on Tempest Hagseed. He has one general overarching theme of human depravity and explores the differing perspectives of it through his essay. He got 20/20 for AT2 and when he modified and repeated it in Trials, it is a REALLY good essay, but the main problem stems from the fact that when faced with a specific extract/idea, it goes to shambles since there is literally one specific thing to talk about. Anything that relates to metatheatre (metatheatre generally, not specific to caliban/ariel or any other marginalisation stuff) , forgiveness, power, retribution is perfect for adapting. Feminism, Sebastian/Antonio, Caliban and the other and he's not quite prepared for that.
But right now the main worry is whether the HSC markers will have a stroke when reading this horribly structured essay. The first paragraph (Tempest para) explores human depravity and whatnot but the main focus really is metatheatre as a vehicle for it. The metatheatre is basically his theme but he focuses that discussion on his niche goofy ah idea. The second paragraph is about Hag Seed and he draws VERY heavy links to the Tempest paragraph. In general it looks fine, it is a bit short though (950-ish with intro and conclusion) and it did perform well in the Trials (20/20). Pretty much every other forum related to Mod A structure does not touch on this (only about the integrated 2 theme essay or 3/4 paragraph essay), so wondering for any feedback. All schools and teachers and students have different ideas of what is acceptable or not, but any comments that might help us gain insight into what goes on at the markers centre is greatly appreciated.
Soz for the other ones
 

hscccc

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did u just repost this or smth?? I just typed out a big reply to one that was deleted 😭 unless its my wifi that just died
 

WertL

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Terribly sorry, he sent me a new thing to ask + his original message had brainrot shenanigans
 
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hscccc

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Terribly sorry, he sent me a new thing to ask
ok lol ill summarise my opinion from what I said (before it was deleted lol)

1. cohesion and structure is a big thing. Your essay needs to be cohesive and flow - you need to have a progression of argument that is logical and flowsss.

2. Mod A is about the textual convo, you need to make sure you address this in a synthesised way. If you have 1 chunky 1st para on just one text, how are you addressing the conversation between both texts and the new insights/what we gain from viewing the texts TOGETHER. My school advised a 2 paragraph structure with synthesis within both. These are the essays that have done the best in the hsc and trials

3. It's not good to have an essay thats too rigid - it needs to be adaptable especially as they can specify particular sections/quotes from the texts. Prepare an additional para/quotes/ideas for feminism/important other themes if you are worried. You could work in a cause in effect and twist the question possibly. I dont do tempest so I cant really comment on ur themes but for example u could say that power causes deceit if your essay was on deceit and the essay q was about power. (dont quote me on this thooo)

5. How does ur school perform in english and this section in general? The 20/20 cant really be validated unless theres no mark inflation or experienced markers w this section if that makes sensee

Anyway just my opinion so take it w a grain of salt, as you said all schools/teachers work differently. It sounds like a pretty good essay so I guess ur mate needs to be flexible and ready to adapt the essay - rn he should be practising questions where his essay doesnt fit at all and trying to work it out

ps. my essays around 1200 - no conclusion. idk what the general size is, quality over quantity can be a thing too and depends how much youre able to write in 40 mins
 

Masaken

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TLDR, my friend has a 2 paragraph split module A essay on Tempest Hagseed. He has one general overarching theme of human depravity and explores the differing perspectives of it through his essay. He got 20/20 for AT2 and when he modified and repeated it in Trials, it is a REALLY good essay, but the main problem stems from the fact that when faced with a specific extract/idea, it goes to shambles since there is literally one specific thing to talk about. Anything that relates to metatheatre (metatheatre generally, not specific to caliban/ariel or any other marginalisation stuff) , forgiveness, power, retribution is perfect for adapting. Feminism, Sebastian/Antonio, Caliban and the other and he's not quite prepared for that.
But right now the main worry is whether the HSC markers will have a stroke when reading this horribly structured essay. The first paragraph (Tempest para) explores human depravity and whatnot but the main focus really is metatheatre as a vehicle for it. The metatheatre is basically his theme but he focuses that discussion on his niche goofy ah idea. The second paragraph is about Hag Seed and he draws VERY heavy links to the Tempest paragraph. In general it looks fine, it is a bit short though (950-ish with intro and conclusion) and it did perform well in the Trials (20/20). Pretty much every other forum related to Mod A structure does not touch on this (only about the integrated 2 theme essay or 3/4 paragraph essay), so wondering for any feedback. All schools and teachers and students have different ideas of what is acceptable or not, but any comments that might help us gain insight into what goes on at the markers centre is greatly appreciated.
Soz for the other ones
2 chunky paragraphs are the least recommended when it comes to mod a structures (vs 3- or 4-paragraph structures) but as long as it's structured well and the cohesion and the flow is fine (read it aloud if you want to check) then there should be no problem. If your teachers had no problem reading it, then I don't think the HSC markers will have an issue either; in the NESA HSC Workbook I think there were a few 2-paragraph essays in there. A 900-1000 word essay is completely fine.

In terms of your extracts or ideas, if your friend doesn't know how to adapt his thing to any question he may be cooked because that not directly answering the question is one of the differentiators from a Band 5 and a Band 6. For an extract question, he just needs to keep practising those over and over but he might need to prepare some additional quotes / an additional paragraph to prepare for the situation of another separate theme if he still isn't able to get the hang of it.

Also how is power and retribution not related to Caliban? Does he not attempt a pursuit for power and sovereignty throughout the play? Does he not want revenge against Prospero? The metatheatre argument is good but for Module A you really need to make sure your arguments are framed around very generic themes and ideas, I had a friend who did a 2 paragraph structure and did secularism and postmodernism as her two main ideas (similar to metatheatre) but framed those around several themes such as retribution, marginalisation, power and feminism (basically think of two umbrella concepts where you can sprinkle the more specific themes underneath)
 

HazzRat

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TLDR, my friend has a 2 paragraph split module A essay on Tempest Hagseed. He has one general overarching theme of human depravity and explores the differing perspectives of it through his essay. He got 20/20 for AT2 and when he modified and repeated it in Trials, it is a REALLY good essay, but the main problem stems from the fact that when faced with a specific extract/idea, it goes to shambles since there is literally one specific thing to talk about. Anything that relates to metatheatre (metatheatre generally, not specific to caliban/ariel or any other marginalisation stuff) , forgiveness, power, retribution is perfect for adapting. Feminism, Sebastian/Antonio, Caliban and the other and he's not quite prepared for that.
But right now the main worry is whether the HSC markers will have a stroke when reading this horribly structured essay. The first paragraph (Tempest para) explores human depravity and whatnot but the main focus really is metatheatre as a vehicle for it. The metatheatre is basically his theme but he focuses that discussion on his niche goofy ah idea. The second paragraph is about Hag Seed and he draws VERY heavy links to the Tempest paragraph. In general it looks fine, it is a bit short though (950-ish with intro and conclusion) and it did perform well in the Trials (20/20). Pretty much every other forum related to Mod A structure does not touch on this (only about the integrated 2 theme essay or 3/4 paragraph essay), so wondering for any feedback. All schools and teachers and students have different ideas of what is acceptable or not, but any comments that might help us gain insight into what goes on at the markers centre is greatly appreciated.
Soz for the other ones
read my guide here https://boredofstudies.org/threads/mod-a-structure.410655/post-7592614
 

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