A classic case? (1 Viewer)

[veanz]

Youre good friends with the opposite sex. Then you notice very obvious signs that they are begininng to like you more so, but there is definitely nothing on your part but just deep respect and gratitude for the friendship.

Basically, i know that he likes me but i dont think he knows that i know he likes me. Sometimes i try to avoid him, afraid that hanging out with him will give him ideas, or hope - i know that sounds mean and eogtistical. Is this approach too blatantly obvious? he hasnt said nething about my avoidance either.

it freakn shits me cos theres no going back to the way it was.
i want to hit him over the head with a tennis raquet to make him forget all this!

What to do? Come out and say it and live with awkwardness? risk the friendship?

 

[babydoll_]

"You know, I don't think it would work out if we ever dated... we're just such good friends it's not worth the risk" *WINK WINK NUDGE*

something along those lines

 

[Ziff]

Tell her if you go on a date you'll show her your willy?

Anyway, if you're too immature or just crap then a relationship will ruin the friendship. If you're not crap then it won't.

 

[bubz :D]

babe i have been in your exact situation
do not risk the friendship, if you have no feelings for him.


maybe you should wait for him to say something about his feelings (if he is going to say anything at all) before YOU do anything about it...

 

[Loz#1]

All that advice, but if you don't do the big "WINK WINK NUDGE" thing that nancy said, it won't be the same.

 

[veanz]

Anyway, if you're too immature or just crap then a relationship will ruin the friendship. If you're not crap then it won't.

haha did you even read my post? and what do u mean by me being 'just crap'?

 

[tomorrows_angel]

i've been in exactly the same situation... twice... with the same guy...
doesn't learn.
basically i ignored it unitl he actually said something, at which point i said i really liked him as a friend, and i didn't want to hurt him, but it wouldn't work. strange thing was that i liked his best friend instead.
don't get in that situation... things get very screwed up!!! especially when they spend every weekend at each others houses, staying up all night and talking about you!!!
actually things are still screwed up, cos if i hurt one, i hurt the other and i then hurt myself.
so anyway... i just had to let him down very gently... sure was hurt for a while, but we're still best friends now so it's all good!

 

[veanz]

i think its best to stop talking altogether and run away and eat all the cake and i want so he'll be so repulsed by the way i look and think twice about it

 

[Ziff]

If by read you mean imagined a naked lady, then yes.

 

[tomorrows_angel]

i think its best to stop talking altogether and run away and eat all the cake and i want so he'll be so repulsed by the way i look and think twice about it

ummm well if that's what you want...
but since i was going after the other guy, that wasn't really an option (he's very big on image... not entirely sure why i liked him) However, if it works for you then go for it! lol... nah... he'll track you down. guys don't get the hint that way... just when you decide to talk to him again don't say "sorry i've been avoiding you". Unless you say that they don't normally realise lol.

 

[Tommy_Lamp]

from a guy's perspective, i would rather the girl come straight out and say it, why lead him on (not that you intentionally are, but by not saying anything, you are leading him on, wa?), the more you let him carry on liking you the worse it will be when you tell him.

 

[berry580]

Basically, i know that he likes me but i dont think he knows that i know he likes me. Sometimes i try to avoid him, afraid that hanging out with him will give him ideas, or hope - i know that sounds mean and eogtistical. Is this approach too blatantly obvious? he hasnt said nething about my avoidance either.

Well are you sure?
You know, girls can be very arrogant at times. (e.g OMG, 9 out of 10 guys in the street looked at me, that means 90% of the world male popluation llikes me. )

What to do? Come out and say it and live with awkwardness? risk the friendship?

Just be his friend like normal. If he asks you out, just go, but don't show signs that you're accepting him, and if he tries to make a move (e.g kiss you), you can reject him then (but preferably not with an addition of a smack across the face unless he's really over it. e.g tries to touch your 'rack'.)

it freakn shits me cos theres no going back to the way it was.
i want to hit him over the head with a tennis raquet to make him forget all this!

Well just don't add too much top spin onto his tead....

 

[thejosiekiller]

exactly- the only way out of this is being honest

its just the hardest route to happiness so i advice u provoke a response on his part somehow

 

[veanz]

Well are you sure?
You know, girls can be very arrogant at times. (e.g OMG, 9 out of 10 guys in the street looked at me, that means 90% of the world male popluation llikes me. )

haha thats so true...!

Just be his friend like normal. If he asks you out, just go, but don't show signs that you're accepting him, and if he tries to make a move (e.g kiss you), you can reject him then (but preferably not with an addition of a smack across the face unless he's really over it. e.g tries to touch your 'rack'.)

that would be leading him on, as tommy_lamp said.

from a guy's perspective, i would rather the girl come straight out and say it, why lead him on (not that you intentionally are, but by not saying anything, you are leading him on, wa?), the more you let him carry on liking you the worse it will be when you tell him.

but that would risk the friendship...

 

[Tommy_Lamp]

Like i said, the longer you let him like you, the worse it will be in the end because it sounds like he will eventually ask you out. And if he's been swooning over you for 1yr, as compared to 1mth, its gonna be harsh.

 

[lengstar]

i sound like that guy...it happens...but you get over it. i tend to wait it out and find info on the person before making a move in which case works best cause usually they are already taken. meh, i'm sick of looking, must get back to study.

 

[berry580]

"but that would risk the friendship..."

Risk the relationship? Meaning if you tell him the truth, he won't be your friend anymore. All that proves is that, he isn't really friend, all he want is to be your boyfriend. So would you want him as your friend anymore now?

 

[veanz]

Risk the relationship? Meaning if you tell him the truth, he won't be your friend anymore. All that proves is that, he isn't really friend, all he want is to be your boyfriend. So would you want him as your friend anymore now?

i dont think that all he wants to be is my bf, weve been friends for a long time. risk the friendship as in things would not go back to the way they were, i just cant picture me being comfortable with him if we were to hang out, knowing that he likes me.

but maybe all this talk is futile since things have changed.

or im just paranoid. make me paranoid or i'll punch u.

 

[berry580]

i dont think that all he wants to be is my bf, weve been friends for a long time. risk the friendship as in things would not go back to the way they were, i just cant picture me being comfortable with him if we were to hang out, knowing that he likes me.

Well you can try confirm if he really likes you or not first.
Get a friend to ask him if he like you or not (or something which won't make him feel like you think he likes you)

but maybe all this talk is futile since things have changed.

What has changed? You went on bed with him already?

or im just paranoid. make me paranoid or i'll punch u.

Not a problem, but you need to be on my bed naked first. :uhhuh:

 

[virgin^sexy]

i haven't read all this cos i'm lazy
but if he asks you out say NO
if he doesn't, then at least try to pretend things are normal
if you can't, then just avoid him