advice?? (1 Viewer)

[-a-s-h-i-]

alrighty..
i have a boyfriend..who is awsome, ive been with him for two years..i love him but im not in love with him..as most people feel when they are our age, im going to uni this year, i will only be an hour away but still probably wont see him til most week ends..
okay..here is the real problem, years ago.. i met this guy we clicked, got along really well, we got together but it never worked, he has lost alot of people really close to him which i understand and doesnt like the idea of loosing anybody else.i always wanted more but he didnt, so we remained really good mates..until recently we have been talking alot more than usual and he has said things that make me think maybe he wants more, which brought up all these old feelings i thought had dissapeared..ive hit him up about it, telling him he needs to let me know what he really wants? but all he said was he doesnt know..i told him to take his time..havnt heard back..

guys is this bad coz he hasnt contacted me..or good because he is actually thinking about it??

i have no intentions of nagging him til i get an answer..i told him i just wamt one eventually..a couple of my friends told me no one can make my mind up for me but me!but i cant i feel like such a slac arse its not funny..i might as well of cheated on him..?

 

[ogmzergrush]

My advice is to think.

 

[Riet]

Firstly what's the difference between loving someone and being in love with them? That part seems odd and I really need to know what you mean before I can contribute any more.

 

[Skeeta]

you can love many things - Peanut butter, dogs, friends, family

But being IN love, is a deeper kind of connection, fantasising about the future etc etc

(thats what i THINK she means)

 

[Riet]

Yes, I know I love chocolate for example. But if I say I love a person is that not the same as being in love with them? Or is it the difference between how I would love my sister or dad compared to someone I'm romantically involved with?

 

[Dave2007]

What does your heart tell you?

 

[AlleyCat]

So basically you like someone other than your boyfriend but you want to make sure this other person likes you back IN THAT WAY before you leave your current boyfriend?

You are a waste of space. Love him or leave him, but just don't deceive him.

 

[Dave2007]

So basically you like someone other than your boyfriend but you want to make sure this other person likes you back IN THAT WAY before you leave your current boyfriend?

You are a waste of space. Love him or leave him, but just don't deceive him.

Yay for honesty!!! :uhhuh:

My sarcasm just wasnt good enough

 

[emdelacreme]

you seem to have a few problems going on there... and i think you need to seperate them.
firstly just put that other guy aside for a moment and think about the situation with your current boyfriend. the first thing you say is that you love him but you're not in love with him. it seems to me that you've made up your mind about the fact that he's not the right guy for you any more. regardless of what happens with the other guy, you dont have the same feelings for your boyfriend anymore. if your heart isnt completely in the relationship you're not gonna feel comfortable and you'll be more likely to be attracted to someone else, as is what is happening now. if you really mean that statement that you said that you're not in love with him, you're gonna have to break it off.
as for the uni thing, im always a supporter of making the effort if you really love the guy, but from what you've said, i dont think your hearts in it and ur gonna find it difficult.
as for this other guy, you're just gonna have to wait and see. he'll come round eventually. and don't feel like you've cheated on ur boyfriend... you cant help the feelings you're having. just dont pursue it if you're still with him. and try to make a decision about ur boyfriend regardless of what happens with this other guy.
wow that was a long bit of advice! i hope some of it helps
good luck!

 

[Flaming Ninja]

alrighty..
he has lost alot of people really close to him which i understand and doesnt like the idea of loosing anybody else.

i always wanted more but he didnt

until recently we have been talking alot more than usual

but all he said was he doesnt know

All of the above are examples of the exact opposite of the way a man behaves. Men get over shit quickly, they don't get worried about losing other people. Also, men always want more. In fact, that's pretty much all men want: more of stuff they like. Furthermore, men don't talk about relationship stuff. Lastly, men are simple creatures. We always know what we want. You clearly made this story up.

 

[Bookie]

fuck, i think im in love with you, ninja.

 

[Riet]

Seriously just tell that guy you want some poontang pounding in the next 15 minutes or you will go emo and start cutting.

If he isn't interested it means one of too thingz:

1) he is gay and wants HIS shit pounded
2) You are ugly.

 

[Bookie]

^truth.

 

[loolee]

Go out with both...as easy is that...

OR...

you tend to like this new guy more that ur bf. SO...dump ur bf and go out with this new guy.....

as easy is that.........

good luck!!^^

 

[テリー]

You don't mean you're not "in love" with him as in you guys have trouble in bed right?
BUT, i agree with flaming, what a whole lot of crap :mad1:

 

[dodgyfilokid]

you might dump ur bf if he (the bloke whos starting to rekindle old flames) decides to tell u that he wants to be with you although most will agree (maybe....) that your current bf will most likely go ballistic when he finds out....i say tread carefully....and dont cheat!! you do and he'll be forever grateful to be a pain in the arse in your life..