Advice (1 Viewer)

[Roll_Your_Eyes]

My ex bf (18) of 2 and a bit years broke up with me (19) a month ago and now he has told me that he wants to be single for TWO YEARS and then get back together and live together then eventually get married have kids and spend the rest of his life with me.

He told me that i never did anything wrong, its just he doesnt want to be in a relationship with anyone at all. he said he is too young to be committed and doesnt want to have any regrets about what happened when he was younger.
I dont feel like that, if i was still with him then got married etc then i dont think i would have any regrets.

He said he knows what he is doing is selfish and doesnt expect me to wait for him. He said that if i was with someone else when he decides that he wants me back then thats his problem. Anything could happen in 2 years. i dont exactly know why i am asking for advice considering there isnt really much i can do. i definately cant change his mind.

He's rang me or messaged me every day that we've been broken up and i know he still really cares about me, but being single is what he wants. I dont want to keep on talking to him. i just find out stuff like him hooking up with other girls etc but i also hate not talking to him. Sucks either way. He still wants to be friends i guess until he feels like he wants a relationship again.

It is gonna hurt so much when he gets into another relationship (although he swears hes not going to) considering what he has said about not wanting one.

Why does he want to go out and hook up with other girls when he says there is nothing wrong with me. He has to be lying. Doesnt make sense. Hooking up with randoms isnt even that good. I dont know if i believe him. i know he will find someone else and then forget all about me. it sucks so much that i never did anything wrong and i still love him so much.

 

[Skeeta]

Your boyfriend wants to spread his seed.
He cant stand the thought of you being his last sexual partner.

He has you wrapped around his little finger, and knows you will be there after he has had his fun and wants to settle down.

 

[Testpilot]

Consider your relationship with him over unless you are willing to wait (but i'd break up with him).

 

[Tulipa]

He wants to fuck other people but doesn't like the idea that he won't have a stable partner because he's so used to it.

So he wants to go off, have fun, fuck looooots of other people then come back to you and get you to be that "stable partner" again.

Fuck him off.

 

[ari89]

hes been hooking up with your best friend for a while now

 

[CieL]

Would it also be a possibility that he's testing you?

As in everything about the being single, break up, 2yrs, rarara is just a setup to test how committed you are to him?

And that he doesnt want to break up with you for 2 yrs but instead a short period to see if you will go out with someone else?

I dont know, that's just how I interpreted it.. maybe it's a silly idea.. but it doesnt really sound logical that he'd want to break up... and hook up again 2yrs later just to get married n have kids..

Then again, I might be giving you false hope..

 

[Tulipa]

Oh dear god AS IF?

Seriously and if it is, what a fucking idiot.

 

[Roll_Your_Eyes]

hes been hooking up with your best friend for a while now

Haha not likely she has a bf and wouldnt cheat on him. she doesnt even like my ex anyway.

And im not going to wait for him. not for 2 years. there are plenty of other guys other there. if its meant to happen it will. so much can happen in 2 years.

We met when he was 16 and i was 17 and im the only girl hes ever been with.

 

[Tulipa]

If he was testing her though (and it's such a retarded idea I don't know why I'm entertaining the notion) but then it'd be a good reason to get far away from him, like stat.

 

[Roll_Your_Eyes]

There's no way hes testing me. he knows i love him.

 

[Tulipa]

There's no way hes testing me. he knows i love him.

He doesn't love you if he wants to fuck other people.

 

[mr_brightside]

She didnt say he did. She said SHE did.

 

[Roll_Your_Eyes]

He doesn't love you if he wants to fuck other people.

I know that.

But he knows I love HIM. i wish i didnt.

 

[Tulipa]

I know that.

But he knows I love HIM. i wish i didnt.

Ah I see.

Personally I'd recommend completely steering clear of him for while. The longer you keep up phone calls etc the more it's going to hurt when it becomes evident he doesn't want to be with you anymore.

So give him the ultimatum, you two either get back together (so wouldn't recommend that) or you're going to cut all contact for a few months.

 

[Roll_Your_Eyes]

Its so hard to steer clear from him. he goes out to pretty much the same places on the weekends, he works 5 mins from my house and my work. i was friends with his friends and he was friends with mine.

We are planning to go to melbourne to see red hot chili peppers (had it planned before we broke up) in a few weeks, so we are still gonna do that, then thats it after that i dont want to talk to /see him anymore.

He cant do this to me and expect me to just wait for him. i dont deserve that. he cant have both. he cant go out have sex with other girls and expect me not to go out with someone else and have fun too.

 

[Tulipa]

Its so hard to steer clear from him. he goes out to pretty much the same places on the weekends, he works 5 mins from my house and my work. i was friends with his friends and he was friends with mine.

We are planning to go to melbourne to see red hot chili peppers (had it planned before we broke up) in a few weeks, so we are still gonna do that, then thats it after that i dont want to talk to /see him anymore.

He cant do this to me and expect me to just wait for him. i dont deserve that. he cant have both. he cant go out have sex with other girls and expect me not to go out with someone else and have fun too.

Well. Duh.

Don't get revenge, that's utterly childish.

You were in a good relationship for awhile (it seems?). I guess then just try to coexist. But I would say to try to get some time with your girlfriends and just vent for awhile. Being in such close contact with him soon after the break up is going to suck.

 

[Roll_Your_Eyes]

I dont see any guys better than him

 

[jumb]

He doesn't love you if he wants to fuck other people.

He does loves her and the idea of a dependable, predictable relationship with her, he just doesnt love the sex with her.

 

[Roll_Your_Eyes]

Nah have planned all the flights and booked up them, cant change them now, dont want to change them. its only 3 weeks away, and we will only be down there for a couple of days. then i dont have to see or talk to him ever again. hopefully.

 

[Roll_Your_Eyes]

Yeah i know... we've always got on really well and i know we will have fun at the concert....