okay. so, i dont even know if any of this is even relevant here,
but basically a whole bunch of stuff happened in my head, coz teenagers are melodramatic, n I stopped attending school - went totally cold-turkey - around 1/2way thru the 12th grade. i got all that "sorted", rpted, freaked out, dropped out for good.
as we know, centrelink doesnt pay u unless ur doing something worthy with ur time. i've never had a job. never acquired any kind of education outside of hs. the thought of having to actually do either of those things fills me with a childlike terror. major peter pan complex is at play here.
i dont read books, i cant make it thru a page. i have no set of skills outside of.. running away from things. n we're kinda broke n im completely useless n they (centrelink) sent me to like, a job agency or something n i have to do a music tafe course but i suck at everything n i cant make myself go to the appointments n im disappointing everyone again n i cant seem to get my life together.
i dont want to do anything. i wanna run somewhere, find a nice damp, secluded forest, build myself a home n teach myself how to hunt for food. if we were financially stable id be fine to just mooch off of my mother but we're not & who is these days, everyone's always broke or overpayed & if u exist in this world u've gotta be doing something.
dont worry, i know how this sounds, i dont wanna die, i like life - life is gr8. i jst, kinda want a different one. or, no, same life, different circumstances. i dunno. im stressing out, coz i've got that feeling in my toes,like i wanna go somewhere else. im lazy. helplessly, pathetically, lazy. attention? advice? anything anyone wants to throw my way, thatd be great. what is the cure to a complete disinterest in anything that would involve me contributing to society? im running out of free passes. sorry about this, this kinda thing probably belongs in a reddit forum somewhere.
thanks for reading, if u read. im sure things will be fine, its not the first time i've flaked out n it wont be the last. if i do, that is; bail. hahaha, god help me. alright. cya
but basically a whole bunch of stuff happened in my head, coz teenagers are melodramatic, n I stopped attending school - went totally cold-turkey - around 1/2way thru the 12th grade. i got all that "sorted", rpted, freaked out, dropped out for good.
as we know, centrelink doesnt pay u unless ur doing something worthy with ur time. i've never had a job. never acquired any kind of education outside of hs. the thought of having to actually do either of those things fills me with a childlike terror. major peter pan complex is at play here.
i dont read books, i cant make it thru a page. i have no set of skills outside of.. running away from things. n we're kinda broke n im completely useless n they (centrelink) sent me to like, a job agency or something n i have to do a music tafe course but i suck at everything n i cant make myself go to the appointments n im disappointing everyone again n i cant seem to get my life together.
i dont want to do anything. i wanna run somewhere, find a nice damp, secluded forest, build myself a home n teach myself how to hunt for food. if we were financially stable id be fine to just mooch off of my mother but we're not & who is these days, everyone's always broke or overpayed & if u exist in this world u've gotta be doing something.
dont worry, i know how this sounds, i dont wanna die, i like life - life is gr8. i jst, kinda want a different one. or, no, same life, different circumstances. i dunno. im stressing out, coz i've got that feeling in my toes,like i wanna go somewhere else. im lazy. helplessly, pathetically, lazy. attention? advice? anything anyone wants to throw my way, thatd be great. what is the cure to a complete disinterest in anything that would involve me contributing to society? im running out of free passes. sorry about this, this kinda thing probably belongs in a reddit forum somewhere.
thanks for reading, if u read. im sure things will be fine, its not the first time i've flaked out n it wont be the last. if i do, that is; bail. hahaha, god help me. alright. cya