Am i being selfish? (1 Viewer)

[Insitt]

Obviously this performance is extremely important to you - have you let him know this?
You probably feel like he is choosing between you and the friend - in reality he's probably just trying to do the right thing by his friend, it is after all her birthday. But at the same time, it is your final performance. It really depends on how important it is to you - the thing is, if it really bothers you and you really want him to go, he will, however as you say, he may feel that you are controlling him too much. It really just depends on how important it is to you - if its that important, he should understand. Just let him know, but don't force him into a decision, leave it with him. And this is coming from a guys perspective -- honestly, there's no point keeping it all to yourself, let him know.

Is it not possible for him to do both? Go to your performance, then take her out later, or vice versa?

 

[Brizza]

Obviously this performance is extremely important to you - have you let him know this?
You probably feel like he is choosing between you and the friend - in reality he's probably just trying to do the right thing by his friend, it is after all her birthday. But at the same time, it is your final performance. It really depends on how important it is to you - the thing is, if it really bothers you and you really want him to go, he will, however as you say, he may feel that you are controlling him too much. It really just depends on how important it is to you - if its that important, he should understand. Just let him know, but don't force him into a decision, leave it with him. And this is coming from a guys perspective -- honestly, there's no point keeping it all to yourself, let him know.

Is it not possible for him to do both? Go to your performance, then take her out later, or vice versa?

i dont know, i mean its a 2 hour performance due to run over time. also the ting is that its not her actual birthday or party, he's just taking her out to dinner. i told him that it would mean alot to me if he was able to come. i dont want him to have to cancel his plans though coz thats unfair of me, i always to get my self in to emotioanl predicaments, i guess its coes with being a pisces

 

[Brizza]

omg brizza, reading through what you said, i've been through things like this too, and you sound almost exactly like me :|

i'm also terrible with confrontations, even if i'm soooo fucking angry at that person and want to hit them, usually i just clam up and can only think of the best stuff to say AFTER the argument's over. useful.

i know how you feel, it's a tricky situation coz you trust him and knows he's being honest, yet you feel let down coz the night is so important to you.... you DO have a reason to be upset, though... why would he somehow think the performance was the night before?

how did u deal with if it u did at all? i dotn wanna fight bout it though, coz its a very small thing that really doesnt need to be argued about at all.....nd also i really dont want to upset him at all....

 

[Frigid]

do i have reason to be upset, or am i selfish?

errr, i don't think it's one thing or the other.

yes you are selfish. but everyone is.

the question then arises whether selfishness is a bad thing or not, and, in this context, whether other factors would allow you to overcome your selfishness.

i reserve my value judgment. figure it out for yourself.

 

[MajinR]

perhaps you are all reading too much into this?

In any case, just ask him to be honest and tell you... dont start speculating and thinking about it too much, it may just be what it actually is...

 

[Brizza]

perhaps you are all reading too much into this?

In any case, just ask him to be honest and tell you... dont start speculating and thinking about it too much, it may just be what it actually is...

i didnt ever worry that he was going to to be another girl, i couldnt care less, its just the fact the his isnt going ot be there......oh well there isnt anything that i can do about it now, im calmer now, i really dont think that there is much poit persuing it any more. thank you every1 for your help