Best+Worst of Teacher Quotes and Habits (1 Viewer)

[russianROULETTE]

may have been a 'had to be there thing', but my english teacher made the best call today:

'Tom couldn't impress a 3/4 dead slug'

 

[sonyaleeisapixi]

"i would like us all to raise the bar. except beau, because beaus bar is buried."

 

[sonyaleeisapixi]

she. and nahh.

 

[Ms. BRIGHTSIDE]

Yesterday in legal studies my teacher was reading an article about rampant physical and sexual abuse to indigenous peoples.

TEACHER: Why is that? I wonder why they're attracted to the indigenous children.
STUDENT: I don't like what you're implying there sir.
TEACHER: Neither do I.



Today in english discussing how you would address people in essays.

TEACHER: You would call her 'Atwood', not 'Margaret'. She is not your neighbour. You don't babysit her children. She is not your mother's tennis partner. You do not take her kids out to the pub. Atwood.
MYSELF: Wait... you would babysit her children and THEN take them to the pub?

 

[cheekychickyy]

Business Studies teacher
Student" "I need help"
Teacher: "Don't ask me, I'm a chapter behind you guys, why don't you just google it"


Maths Teacher
Teacher: *Says to class* "I'm going on a holiday with my boyfriend travelling to Europe"
Student: "Don't you me husband?"
Teacher: *Suspicios look* "Yes, Yes I mean 'Husband' "

 

[joosebox]

My 2U maths teacher seems to have this ridiculous notion that he's actually funny, and cracks the lamest jokes you could ever imagine because of it.

One specific incident (which happens EVERY CLASS, DAMMIT.):
teacher, after walking into the classroom (and sounding very serious): "Alright quick, everyone raise their hands!"
*everyone looks around confused and then raises their hands*
*teacher flicks on the light switch*
"Many hands make light work!"
*class groans*

safe to say, besides that first time, everyone ignores him when he's done it since

 

[Muz4PM]

One specific incident (which happens EVERY CLASS, DAMMIT.):
teacher, after walking into the classroom (and sounding very serious): "Alright quick, everyone raise their hands!"
*everyone looks around confused and then raises their hands*
*teacher flicks on the light switch*
"Many hands make light work!"
*class groans*

Oh fucking dear. That is horrendous.

 

[kaz1]

My 2U maths teacher seems to have this ridiculous notion that he's actually funny, and cracks the lamest jokes you could ever imagine because of it.

One specific incident (which happens EVERY CLASS, DAMMIT.):
teacher, after walking into the classroom (and sounding very serious): "Alright quick, everyone raise their hands!"
*everyone looks around confused and then raises their hands*
*teacher flicks on the light switch*
"Many hands make light work!"
*class groans*

safe to say, besides that first time, everyone ignores him when he's done it since

That is one weird joke.

 

[Ms. BRIGHTSIDE]

My 2U maths teacher seems to have this ridiculous notion that he's actually funny, and cracks the lamest jokes you could ever imagine because of it.

One specific incident (which happens EVERY CLASS, DAMMIT.):
teacher, after walking into the classroom (and sounding very serious): "Alright quick, everyone raise their hands!"
*everyone looks around confused and then raises their hands*
*teacher flicks on the light switch*
"Many hands make light work!"
*class groans*

safe to say, besides that first time, everyone ignores him when he's done it since

I laughed.

 

[pinkyforce7]

most of my math class were in the yr 11 locker room a few minutes after the bell had went and my math teacher barged in and said:
"I thought i had a class now but i mustn't of because THERE IS NOONE THERE!!!"


at the start of my first advanced english lesson, our english teacher says:
"ok, so why do we study english? lets disccuss it, shall we?"
by the end of the lesson the final conclusion was:
"we study english to become wizards and masters of the universe!"

 

[nhoustonrocks]

well. we were having athletics trials at lunchtime and this particular lunchtime was the 1500m. i think the race was about 6 or 7 laps around the oval and my tutor was in charge of timing everyone.
this race in particular, was quite fast compared to others so, when the first few people were finishing, my tutor was dawdling over towards the finish line unaware that there are people finishing...
students: um sir, there are people finishing.
teacher: oh shit...you got (makes up time.)

hahahaha.

 

[redsfan91]

Rofl best thread out

This is my current business teacher and everyone hates him:

"Boys, this isnt in the syllubus but if u write it in an exam u might get some marks for trying"

teacher:"the stimulus is there to ..to.. stimulate thought"
student:"then why in the criteria does it say to refer to the stimulus"
teacher" because it does" (ironically hes the one that came up with the assesment task"

student:"(asks some stupid question)"
teacher: (mumbles quietly to himslef but loud enough so everyone in the front row is able to hear him) "Are you fucking serious"

Feel sorry 4 me

 

[u-borat]

So my maths teacher came up with this proof....

women=time X money
time is money.
women=money squared
money is the root of all evil
money=root evil
money squared=evil
women=evil.

then there's economics teacher from last year....who used to own a pub...and he said," I wasn't a rascist, I just didn't hire aborigines."

then there's my latin teacher this year, whose a strange strange guy, but absolutely hilarious.
Ask him anything about his life, and he goes, "no comment." Then follows it up with the same line every time,"I assure you gentlemen, the latin texts you are studying are infinitely more interesting than my humdrum existence."

And when we get food for end of term celebration/good exam results, he calls them, "latin pizza orgies" and "latin kfc banquets."

ahh...so many memories.

 

[pinkyforce7]

this happened today lol

English teacher: "For any question in english in any exam or assignment, you must first decode the question. find out what it really means. you must undress the question."
student: "get the question naked miss?"
English teacher: "yes! thats precisly it."
student: "do we have to get the question drunk as well?"

 

[Anookanator]

In my english class there were 6 boys were in trouble for starting a fight outside of school with another school. So they were called out of class. And my teacher was like "oh well see you boys later, have a good christmas and new year"

 

[curryman23]

This is a quote by my bio teacher - Possibly the funniest bio teacher around. Legend.

"Remember boys; to run fast, live strong, and love slow"
"If the going gets tough, dont keep going"

"I think its time for some talk and chalk" (means his going to write on the board) LMAO

 

[ahhliss]

We're currently doing the topic "Applications of Calculus to the Physical World" in Maths and the teacher's like "We throw 'bodies' off cliffs, but if we say it, it sounds like we're from the mafia or something." Or something like that. She keeps saying stuff like "we're going to start throwing bodies off cliffs soon" xD
That teacher is funny.
Also today she found a whole stack of awards another teacher dropped and said how that teacher was sucking up to her students to they would be good. She goes says how she hates suck ups, but later in the lesson the careers advisor screams at me for not going to an excursion. After she leaves, the teacher says something like like the principal and the careers advisor writes about you, so you need to suck up to them subtly by going to excursions and stuff.
ALSOOO it was funny how she conveniently busied herself at her desk when the careers advisor asked her for opinions during her lecture.

 

[mythical chaos]

one of my english teachers throws stuff at us if we annoy her.
even though it never hits me I see the potential for something seriously going wrong! do you think I should report her to the principal or just let it go?

 

[Ms. BRIGHTSIDE]

one of my english teachers throws stuff at us if we annoy her.
even though it never hits me I see the potential for something seriously going wrong! do you think I should report her to the principal or just let it go?

Throw shit back.
My teacher said he wanted to kill me last week.
Lovely man.

 

[kirstkirst]

when doing journeys in class our teacher told some joke and no one laughed, when she asked we were aksed why no one was laughing, some one replied saying "its all about the inner-journey miss... we're all lagingon the inside"

the same teacher: wow thats an interesting nail-polish colour, is it radio-active?