bf problems (1 Viewer)

[MiSSi]

hey,

im in a bad situation:
im asian n ive been going out with my bf for 2 months now n ive known him for about 3 yrs. my bf told his parents that we're going out n they r against me even tho our families know each other i think bcos of family history. it worries me cos there are always arguments. they point out the negative stuff about me e.g. height difference. his so down that its starting to affect our relationship. any ideas/suggestions on wat i should do? im so confused i need help!

or should i end the relationship for his sake?

any1 been in a similar situation?

thanks.

 

[Collin]

I think that his parents are superficial arseholes. If you really love each other, then you and him need to objectively assert that onto his parents, because I don't think they have the right to just break down your relationship because they have a few shallow disapprovals.

 

[hbk_ace]

y do you think ending the relationship is good for him?

the right thing to do is stick by him and communicate with him, not ran away

 

[pinkblinkbarbie]

he needs to talk to his parents and explain that (if you love each other) that nothing can stand in your way, and it his choice who he dates not theirs. he should also explain that whatever bad family history is, doesnt change who you are or the relationship you have with their son. basically, its his parents who need to understand. if you honestly loved him and he honeslty loved you, you would both stay together regardless of such odds. being asian may be hard but it doesnt justify how your boyfriend's parents should treat you.

 

[Panda Bear]

does it matter if you're asian?

 

[SipSip]

hey,

im in a bad situation:
im asian n ive been going out with my bf for 2 months now n ive known him for about 3 yrs. my bf told his parents that we're going out n they r against me even tho our families know each other i think bcos of family history. it worries me cos there are always arguments. they point out the negative stuff about me e.g. height difference. his so down that its starting to affect our relationship. any ideas/suggestions on wat i should do? im so confused i need help!

or should i end the relationship for his sake?

any1 been in a similar situation?

thanks.

What does his parents have to do with you two loving each other? Although I could understand from observing other family friends, that asian parents seems to have spies on us and judge your every move.
Now, are you taller than your bf? And even if you are, i don't see what's there to complain about by the your bf's parents, unless they don't think their little boy is good enough for you, I think they are just self conscious, a lot of asian parents complain about other families when in fact they are the ones there are constantly in fear of being judged.
How old and what year are you in? As a suggestion, i would say tell your bf to have a talk with his parents and seek out what they are worried about him dating you, is it worry about him going downhill in his schoolwork...i don't see how that would happen, but a LOT of parents feel that way... or is it something else, and then answer each of the concerns and explain it back to his parents. Although it might seem your bf's parents are stubborn as hell, that might work.

If not...run off with ya bf.. ^^

I seriously don't see how ending the relationship would work...although it might let his parents shut up for a while, it certainly won't be "good" for him since that in his future relationship, he'll still be stuck when his parents doesn't like someone...so why not find a way to solve it now ^^

 

[santaslayer]

I have a different perspective into the whole situation...

You sticking with him may sound like the right thing to do but you're only making it harder for your bf as he is torn between loyalty to you and loyalty to his parents. I say let things settle down a bit and if you really love him then let him go. If he comes back to you, then he's yours. Trying to solve the problem now well only make matters worse...

 

[velox]

I agree with santaslayer

 

[AsyLum]

I have a different perspective into the whole situation...

You sticking with him may sound like the right thing to do but you're only making it harder for your bf as he is torn between loyalty to you and loyalty to his parents. I say let things settle down a bit and if you really love him then let him go. If he comes back to you, then he's yours. Trying to solve the problem now well only make matters worse...

I agree totally, the reason he is so torn is because of the conflict of loyalty, if you really love him, let him go for now

 

[neo o]

height difference = excuse.

They just don't like you. Bad luck.

 

[-a-s-h-i-]

HEIGHT...that should be no frigen excuse, im small as and i hope that people dont judge me on that...
"take a step back and see the little people..there the ones who make the big people big' remember that quote..

ASIAN...who gives a shit! if they are like that, screw them..that is nothing other than racist, and they are judging you, totally predjudice!

though i also agree with santaslayer, let him go if he comes back, hes yours, at least you can end it and still be friends because you didnt break-up on ncertain grounds..

 

[Collin]

I don't agree with santaslayer and let me explain why.

It seems pretty obvious that his parents are like those old style royal families. That is, they 'choose' who you court and they'll tend to disapprove your own choices for superficially stupid reasons. The notion of even saying whether true or not, that they don't like her because of height just shows how shallow they are. The parents just seem like controlling douche bags to me.

This isn't just about this particular girl (i.e thread starter). Chances are the parents are just gonna put off lots of his future gfs.. for stupid reasons. Why should he put up with that? Shouldn't his parents give more freedom? It's time for him to take a stand now against his parents or else he may face depression for his future relationships aswell.

 

[Generator]

Bloody hell, I would hate to have to feel some sort of loyalty towards my parents over something such as thit.

Ah well, tough luck, but rather than 'walking away' I would suggest that you just go with the flow... Seeing as though he is the one with the parental issues he should be the one to break off the relationship if necessary. Besides, you are not the one who will have to learn how to deal with his parents (for better or worse) sooner or later.

[pointless]The one, the one...[/pointless]

 

[MiSSi]

thanks for your responses everyone.

but he has tried everything to convince his parents but they dont give up! bcos of the family history he has said im different, its his choice etc etc. his 23 tho old enough to make his own decisions!

we went out b4 and he ended it cos he realised that he couldnt let me go and now that we're back together again n i decided to give him another chance.

do u think it would be a good idea to hang around his place and then maybe they can change their views? im scared to go over tho, cos if i do an argument can happen...

 

[Collin]

He's TWENTY THREE? His parents are going overboard. They should realize the decision is up to him.. Morally IMO, and definitely legally. They shouldn't attempt to be such controlling bastards.

 

[Generator]

Hah I was thinking that he was only 18 or 19 rather than 23... As you said, he is old enough to make his own decisions, so why can't he? It isn't as though his mum and/or dad will be ironing his undies for life, and he will have to grow up (or not) sometime.

 

[truly-in-bliss]

can u be more specific when u say famili differences? cuz that can be a lot of things. If its somehting thatz common, then u need to make ur bf realise that its gonna be a recurring problem for him in the future. If its something v personal, then u need to talk to ur bf to see what he thinks of it.

it's not enough to just say if u guys like each other then go ahead and dont listen to the parents. What does ur bf think? is he strong enough to go against these issues? if he is not willing to stand up for u or if he is unsure then dont waste ur time.


u need a man who knows what he wants and appreciates what he has. If he doesnt then its ptless.

 

[neo o]

Twenty-three....

Asian kids never cease to amaze me.

 

[pinkblinkbarbie]

you said that he broke up with you because he didnt want to let you go? that makes no sense, so please read what you write before you post cause its confusing.
i agree with generator. i mean does he still have a single bed with spider man doona cover and picture of whinnie the poo in his room? if his parents have such an upper hand on his life and he doesnt like it....why doesnt he move out?
and what is with this "family past" shit? EXPLAIN. its not making much sense otherwise

 

[AsyLum]

thanks for your responses everyone.

but he has tried everything to convince his parents but they dont give up! bcos of the family history he has said im different, its his choice etc etc. his 23 tho old enough to make his own decisions!

we went out b4 and he ended it cos he realised that he couldnt let me go and now that we're back together again n i decided to give him another chance.

do u think it would be a good idea to hang around his place and then maybe they can change their views? im scared to go over tho, cos if i do an argument can happen...

I change my views. Haha, walk away, if hes still taking it from his parents at this age, expect it for a long term relationship

Mumma's boy