BOS Showcase: 2005 Major Works (2 Viewers)

[kami]

Excuse me. I read your work and was not struck blind. As I recall I quite enjoyed it and offered you some last minute advice.

Shoosh! You don't count, you're not human! You're a mod!

 

[paper cup]

Airness: (I am aware that I do not have status in this forum, so don't kick me for intruding into your private little circle. Please, I'm very delicate)

I like your concept. Very clever. One criticism I would like to make is that the work is rather repetitive in places, and while a certain degree of repetition is necessary at times I think you overdid it, a little bit more subtlety would have been nice.

 

[kami]

Airness: (I am aware that I do not have status in this forum, so don't kick me for intruding into your private little circle. Please, I'm very delicate)

I like your concept. Very clever. One criticism I would like to make is that the work is rather repetitive in places, and while a certain degree of repetition is necessary at times I think you overdid it, a little bit more subtlety would have been nice.

Don't worry cherryblossom, we won't kick you(we might bite however), feel free to join in the fun whenever you want so long as you play nice too.

 

[nick1048]

Time: As A Concept

Please feel free to read and comment on my Critical Response. PM would be the best if you would like to discuss any aspects of my Major Work or Reflection Statement, thanks guys n galz.

 

[jhakka]

Airness: (I am aware that I do not have status in this forum, so don't kick me for intruding into your private little circle. Please, I'm very delicate)

I like your concept. Very clever. One criticism I would like to make is that the work is rather repetitive in places, and while a certain degree of repetition is necessary at times I think you overdid it, a little bit more subtlety would have been nice.

As Evan said, there is no need to feel excluded in this forum. I would like to think that everyone here is comfortable enough to post and give constructive criticism when they want to.

 

[glitterfairy]

No-one's going to kick you for constructive criticism, cherryblossom. And if they do, I'll beat them up (this goes for everyone).

What I loved about the criticism last year was hearing what people thought about it. If people hate it, ok, that happens. If they can give me reasons as to why they didn't like it, then I love and respect that.

Feel the love!

 

[nick1048]

yes please, any constructive criticism would be most obliged in regards to my major work. If anyone actually reads the whole thing I'll be happy, please fellow BOSers, I'm looking forward to ur replies or PMs

 

[Alimoe_KG]

Airness: (I am aware that I do not have status in this forum, so don't kick me for intruding into your private little circle. Please, I'm very delicate)

I like your concept. Very clever. One criticism I would like to make is that the work is rather repetitive in places, and while a certain degree of repetition is necessary at times I think you overdid it, a little bit more subtlety would have been nice.

I couldn't agree more !

haha if you think i overdid it in the final product, you should have seen my initial drafts. I think you may have started kicking yourself out of frustration

 

[get_born]

lol. Well I have my draft, but otherwise you'll just have to wait till we get them back. And I am not sure if you'd want to see my draft since nearly everyone who has looked at it hasn't mentioned it again - I think last_chance was the only person not struck blind by my work

Those who just read people's work without commenting on them, either dont have anything to criticise - however me on the other hand have had one Boser say what it is related to - but no one has yet said hey your work is bad/good. I honestly liked your work and i have yet to see someone say they didn't.

 

[black_man]

last night i was finally able to experience Kami's work. I felt it was unfortunate that it seemed as though his work fell victim to the constraints of the word limit aswell. i felt the pace sort of escalate in the second half of the story simply to include the entire plotline of the story. I'm sure that with an extended word limit there would be a great opportunity to develop a more vivid sense of place within the story. i might also have thought that the titles for each respective 'chapter' (i'm sorry, i'm not a short story writer, i'm not very sure what the technical term might be) might not have really needed a title, the story has a very nice dynamic without needing a title in each chapter.

i felt it was a very interesting way to subvert the traditional fairytales, there was a real startling irony in the character of cinderella and her origins. it was a very interesting story to read, and i'm sure there isnt any shame in posting it in the forum

 

[Pointy Ears]

Those who just read people's work without commenting on them, either dont have anything to criticise - however me on the other hand have had one Boser say what it is related to - but no one has yet said hey your work is bad/good. I honestly liked your work and i have yet to see someone say they didn't.

Hey!
Sorry about that last_chance
Yea, i had only the chance to read your first poem, then i forced myself to stop to do homework, and since then, i havent really looked at any other MW. Theyve all been downloaded, but im just so tired these days to read through them all.
Also, i havent posted up my MW, so i dont feel like i have the right to really say anything about anyone elses MW. However, from what i DID read of yours, i would say that your ability to write in a style that uses contemporary language in the shakespearean type of metre shows your obvious dedication and hard work through the sustaining of this style throughout and your ability to adapt it to become your own. I cant really say much else until I've read the rest of it, which will hopefully be soon

 

[black_man]

i can understand how difficult it must have been to sustain meter and rhythm in poetry, but throughout an entire composition is really a tribute to your dedication. i didnt really notice any sort of lapses in quality or style throughout the work, which is very very commendable.

i hope you received my feedback via PM after posting your work, i'm sorry if it didnt reach you

 

[get_born]

Hey! Sorry about that last_chance
Yea, i had only the chance to read your first poem, then i forced myself to stop to do homework, and since then, i havent really looked at any other MW. Theyve all been downloaded, but im just so tired these days to read through them all.
Also, i havent posted up my MW, so i dont feel like i have the right to really say anything about anyone elses MW. However, from what i DID read of yours, i would say that your ability to write in a style that uses contemporary language in the shakespearean type of metre shows your obvious dedication and hard work through the sustaining of this style throughout and your ability to adapt it to become your own. I cant really say much else until I've read the rest of it, which will hopefully be soon

Hey i totally understand - after the trials ive had to force myself to get things done to, anyways thanx for your comment Maybe one day you can post up your work and allow us the privellege of reading your work.

i can understand how difficult it must have been to sustain meter and rhythm in poetry, but throughout an entire composition is really a tribute to your dedication. i didnt really notice any sort of lapses in quality or style throughout the work, which is very very commendable.

i hope you received my feedback via PM after posting your work, i'm sorry if it didnt reach you

yeah, i did recieve that PM - thanx for that.

 

[kami]

Those who just read people's work without commenting on them, either dont have anything to criticise - however me on the other hand have had one Boser say what it is related to - but no one has yet said hey your work is bad/good. I honestly liked your work and i have yet to see someone say they didn't.

I feel guilty for not posting up a review of your work now. All I can say is that I've downloaded your work and everyone else's but I haven't gotten around to it, sorry.

last night i was finally able to experience Kami's work. I felt it was unfortunate that it seemed as though his work fell victim to the constraints of the word limit aswell. i felt the pace sort of escalate in the second half of the story simply to include the entire plotline of the story. I'm sure that with an extended word limit there would be a great opportunity to develop a more vivid sense of place within the story. i might also have thought that the titles for each respective 'chapter' (i'm sorry, i'm not a short story writer, i'm not very sure what the technical term might be) might not have really needed a title, the story has a very nice dynamic without needing a title in each chapter.

i felt it was a very interesting way to subvert the traditional fairytales, there was a real startling irony in the character of cinderella and her origins. it was a very interesting story to read, and i'm sure there isnt any shame in posting it in the forum

Thank you for your input, its good that people can find something in my work that was worthy of some interest(thanks again to last_chance as well). It gives me some hope that I may get more than the single digit mark I have anticipated. I probably will post it when the bad vibes have faded completely.

 

[get_born]

I feel guilty for not posting up a review of your work now. All I can say is that I've downloaded your work and everyone else's but I haven't gotten around to it, sorry.

lol. i wasn't suppost to make you feel guilty - I said that to make you feel better - but anyways its nice to know BOS members care

 

[black_man]

i have also read the work of 666_blessings a number of times now. It was refreshing to read another collection of poetry within this forum to compare the way different students have approached the form.
i was very much taken aback by the contrast of his work to the other works of poetry i have read (though i have not experienced many from 2005 as of yet). There was a very eclectic sort of mix of styles and structures, and the division of the collection and the subject matter was very interesting. The first poem of the collection was perhaps my favourite, and, as described in the reflection statement, the line wondering where the mother would obtain mockingbirds or diamond rings was very well done.
as the work continued, i felt the work could have benefitted from a little bit of a different voice. I felt a similar tone as the works progressed that made the work become a little bit sterile and descriptive in the third person. When the reflection statement specified that the works were written with a main sort of emotional influence, i thought it might have struggled a little bit to come out of the works.
i thought the sort of evolutionary concept of the 'ages' was very good. there was a very definitive progression in the temporal ages of the subjects. it is a little bit unfortunate that it seemed there wasnt a great deal of room to move in the division of the collection. i felt that perhaps 'the age of turmoil' or 'the age of estrangement' had amazing possibilities to be able to explore different aspects of these ages, like perhaps including social undertones or moral imperatives. the poem 'an eight year old watches' maybe moved in this direction a little bit, though it might have only slightly skimmed over the social issues it addresses. i noticed that the poems 'the age of turmoil' (i think) were also sort of confined to relationships perhaps on a more intimate and personal sort of level. I'm sure it would have been a burden to research, and restricted by the word limit, but there are amazing possibilities that could perhaps be explored, sort of like the reactions of adolescents to things such as change, or adversity or more universal focuses, while still maintaining the main objective of focusing upon human interaction.

I also noticed that the poems were not divided onto seperate pages. while there is no real regulation that specifies that each should begin on a new page, it was interesting, and i dont think it appeared in the reflection statement.

i was also concerned with several ideas in the reflection statement. occasionally i was concerned that some elements were generalised, such as the evolution being "often overlooked or misunderstood by a society which is becoming physically closer but more emotionally isolated". and also when referring to adolescence "they possess the maturity to reflect upon what is presented while also lacking the maturity to think about these things without prompting" it seemed as though it was a little bit of a condescending statement. though i did feel the justification in choosing free verse poetry and integrating the strengths of traditional poetry was a very good idea and very well expressed.

i'm sorry if i'm being terribly conservative here, but also maybe specifying that poetry came from 'random words pulled from the dictionary' could be of concern if markers are looking for a very fastidious sort of compositional process.

considering these though, it was a very very interesting work to read and experience, thankyou very very much for sharing it with us.

 

[gorgo31]

Here's my (aka James/Airness') story

It's called "A Shed of One's Own" and it's a transformation of Virginia Woolf's "A Room of One's Own".

Airness: I was initially a little sceptical about your concept as I am a real Woolf fanatic, but you've done such a great job so congratulations I loved the diversity of your political and historical references, the development of your satirical, androgynous narrative voice, and the wealth of conceptual and literary research evident in your reflection statement. The ironic use postmodernism in attempting to appropriate, in my opinion, the greatest writer of modernist literature was also a nice touch. Overall, I found this an interesting and particularly clever major work.

Understandably, in 6000-8000 words it is impossible to capture the true essence of Woolf's writings, but I think you've been exceptional in focusing your major work on her exploration of gender and the attached societal / cultural expectations. My only gripe would be not enough Woolf in your reflection statement! Have you read Orlando? Of particular interest too, would have been the compilations of her letters, which could have given you a non-literary perspective into her concerns of androgyny and sexuality. Then again, this may have influenced you differently, or resulted in a reflection statement without as much balance as yours posseses now.

Anyway, well done!

 

[nick1048]

12 views no comments

 

[Alimoe_KG]

Everyone's scared of you Mr Anderson...there's just too many of you...*sobs in frustration*

No i'm just going through the MWs one by one I"ll get to you eventually!

 

[Porcia]

12 views no comments

nick1048 - forgive me for saying so - i read yours, while it was good and very critical-responder-y, is the subject matter really a paradigm of english? it seems to me more philosophical, and i havent read your reflection statement yet so forgive me if you justified this already in your RS. Still - i read a BOS Standards Packages thingy that wrote one of the works were too broad and held little, if any, relevance to the course of english. Putting subject matter aside i really love how you explored time as a concept - it got me thinking about all these things that are dictated by time! Amazing how bodily periods seem to adhere to the Julian Monthly cycle aye!