Boy Bestfriends > Boyfriends (1 Viewer)

[giggsy013]

I find it to be a serious point. Although I would say I am the opposite to you... I am the guy who is a good friend (maybe not best friend, but pretty close) to a girl who has a boyfriend who she has been going out with for a few months, but I have been her friend for much longer than that and we were good friends even before she started going out with him. I've met the guy once and he seemed quite happy to meet me as I guess she has told him there is nothing going on between me and her, and she has made that perfectly clear.

It is just a matter of trust, and if she has known the guy for a lot longer than you, then it is natural for her to spend a fair bit of time with him, especially as you said he has been overseas for a while.

If you can't trust her, leave her, but make sure you give a perfectly good reason first.

Alternatively, talk to her. Let her know your concerns and that you care who she spends time with and that you want to be the one spending the most time with her. Turn it back on her and make yourself look like the loving boyfriend that she hoped for.

 

[Benjoman]

like what everyone said, trust her, dont be clingy and if she does cheat on you, then shes not for you in the first place, its better this way than having your insecurities, you'll never know if you don't let go, you're her bf not personal bodyguard

 

[shinji]

I find it to be a serious point. Although I would say I am the opposite to you... I am the guy who is a good friend (maybe not best friend, but pretty close) to a girl who has a boyfriend who she has been going out with for a few months, but I have been her friend for much longer than that and we were good friends even before she started going out with him. I've met the guy once and he seemed quite happy to meet me as I guess she has told him there is nothing going on between me and her, and she has made that perfectly clear.

It is just a matter of trust, and if she has known the guy for a lot longer than you, then it is natural for her to spend a fair bit of time with him, especially as you said he has been overseas for a while.

If you can't trust her, leave her, but make sure you give a perfectly good reason first.

Alternatively, talk to her. Let her know your concerns and that you care who she spends time with and that you want to be the one spending the most time with her. Turn it back on her and make yourself look like the loving boyfriend that she hoped for.

+1

/thread

 

[Serius]

heh its funny to see this from the other perspective. Imagine what he is thinking atm.

"ok theres nothing going on, there never has been its purely platonic and i am not interested in her AT ALL, we have been friends for years and i just got back from overseas and want to hang out with my friend for a bit, why is he stressing out? its not like i am trying to steal her from him, i am happy for them to be together because it makes her happy and he is a decent enough guy.

If their relationship ends up being long term he is going to have to deal with me, and at the same time he is going to get to spend A LOT more time with her than me, so i dont see why we cant get along"

your girlfriend would be thinking something similiar, and then wondering why you are getting all clingy [ and NOT liking it]

just relax, she cant spend ALL her free time with you and some of it has to go to friends, he is clearly just a friend and she enjoys spending time with him, dont you want her to have the support of a good friend?

 

[brainwashed39]

ok, for one.. a.Limjoco... STOP calling your girlfriend (or any hypothetical woman or girl) "the female"... it's just not cool.
secondly, i agree with everyone who says that you simply have to trust your girlfriend (or "the female" if that is actually what her name is)..
BUT.. since they have been friends for so long, her bestfriend obviously has some qualities that make him a really good and supportive person to be around.
i know a lot of guys who get complacent with there girlfriends and stop putting in much effort into actually being a good friend as well as boyfriend (eg. listening when they are upset, surprising them and making them feel special)..
so my advice is, if this applies to you: however good a boyfriend you are now.. be a better one and you'll have nothing to worry about.

 

[Pace_T]

ok, for one.. a.Limjoco... STOP calling your girlfriend (or any hypothetical woman or girl) "the female"... it's just not cool.
secondly, i agree with everyone who says that you simply have to trust your girlfriend (or "the female" if that is actually what her name is)..
BUT.. since they have been friends for so long, her bestfriend obviously has some qualities that make him a really good and supportive person to be around.
i know a lot of guys who get complacent with there girlfriends and stop putting in much effort into actually being a good friend as well as boyfriend (eg. listening when they are upset, surprising them and making them feel special)..
so my advice is, if this applies to you: however good a boyfriend you are now.. be a better one and you'll have nothing to worry about.

a.Limjoco, dont listen to this scum advice.
call her whatever you want. when people say trust her i dont think you should follow that advice blindly. the people who most likely get cheated on or are hurt most when cheated are those who have a lot of trust in their partners. always have doubts. and qualities? thats all bullshit. if shes going out of her way to make more time for him than you, she's probably starting to get attracted to him.
i do agree with the last bit above though. try to be the best boyfriend you can so hopefully she'll push him into the friends group just like the rest of the time they were friends. but stay on the ball and know what's going on. girls cheat just as much as guys.

 

[hiphophooray123]

freind zone does not exist, its just something made up to serve its purpose as a useful excuse for girls who think subtle let-downs are less offensive than explicit ones.

 

[ctrlaltv]

if i could take a guess, i'd say he is probably sucking her cock right now.

wtf? lol

 

[eddy11]

meet the 'best friend,' you'll probably find he's a nice trustworthy guy and you'll have a bit more piece of mind

 

[ASNSWR127]

meet the 'best friend,' you'll probably find he's a nice trustworthy guy and you'll have a bit more piece of mind

Yeah you might even like the guy! I suspect you will

I had this same prob with an ex GF of mine (kept complaining that i really went out with the other girl and that I just "bounced back to her for sex on the weekend") this was naturally not the case - I invited them to meet and they really liked each other!

 

[LauraHLH]

I have a boyfriend, and more close male friends than I do close female friends. One of them being my boyfriend's best friend. My boyfriend is great about it- he understands that I like hanging around guys more than girls- so much less bitchiness- and he trusts me to only look at him in that way.

So trust her, and I agree with eddy11- you should meet the guy- it'll put your mind to rest.

 

[Bilama]

if i could take a guess, i'd say he is probably sucking her cock right now.

LOL