Can please someone mark my business report? - Y12 (1 Viewer)

[Miuniumew]

Just wondering if anyone could mark my business report, as my teacher rarely gives feedback, I would only get comments on my handwriting.
TSYM for reading and marking my work! Please mark me AS HARSH as you could!
Feel free to comment in this Google Doc I've posted in my other post, please click profile to view!!
Here is one of them:

Business report to the management of Foodco Pty Ltd (FPL) Executive summary: Foodco Pty Ltd (FPL) is a private company that provides ready-made food products for the biggest supermarket chains in Australia. However, they are currently facing significant threats from a new domestic competitor entering the food service and hospitality industry, leading to declines in sales and market share. The report will strongly encourage this business to utilise marketing strategies for pricing and product, to achieve the marketing goals of increasing sales and market share. Marketing strategies - Pricing: FPL should understand the importance of maintaining as large a percentage as they can, since small numbers can mean thousands of dollars in reality. Therefore, FPL should adapt pricing strategies for their food products, such as price penetration, by charging the lowest possible price to reach a wider segment of the target market and increase market share. FPL’s competitor businesses have a lower price of product compared to their own ready-made food products, which may lead to the loss of consumers and market share since people tend to prefer cheaper food but meeting the quality they expect. Therefore, FPL must lower the price of products, especially those that were no longer on trend, in order to satisfy consumers who like the product itself rather than consumers who are influenced by the trend and purchase without concerning about the price of the product. For example, bubble tea packs, which are no longer in high demand as the trend has slowly been replaced by other new products. By lowering the price of the bubble tea packs, this is advantageous as it allows consumers who like to drink bubble tea as a snack, or small business owners who need a higher amount for stock, to purchase these packs constantly from their supermarkets. As mentioned, FPL make food products for the biggest supermarket chains in Australia. This can satisfy consumers with lower budgets but still having interest in the bubble tea pack to purchase these products, to benefit the business by maintaining the sales and market share by targeting a new market, from consumers such as influencers, into consumers that sees bubble tea pack as a need or want in daily life. FPL should also utilise prestige/premium pricing, a pricing strategy where a high price is charged to give the product an aura of quality and status, where higher quality products are assumed to have a higher price, while lower price products mean lower quality customers will receive. FPL should offer higher-quality pre-made food products with a higher price, such as specialised diet foods or fruit baskets, where the cost and effort in handling the products' ingredients are relatively expensive and complex. Whereas for heat-and-serve meals, or tinned soup should be priced lower compared to others since their taste, ingredients used and packaging of the product are more substandard. By pricing differently in a wide range, it helps FPL to gain a wider area of the target market from consumers with higher living standards to those with lower income to meet their expectations and their ability to purchase the product within an agreeable price range. These pricing strategies are beneficial as it increases sales by avoiding overstocking and generating an amount of profits by lowering the price of products that are no longer in high demand, as well as to maintain a wide range of target markets with different economic statuses and quality expectations through prestige/premium pricing on products to increase market share and gain a competitive advantage from the new domestic competitor. Marketing strategies - Product: (skip) due thursday Conclusion/ Recommendation: To address the concerns of FPL, this business needs to use appropriate marketing strategies to ensure its pricing of food products meets a wider range of consumers’ budgets while maintaining the quality of the product to satisfy customers’ expectations on the quality and price on product. Also, to increase sales and market share through the rebranding of the image of the business, and to restate FPL’s brand reputation to differentiate its products to their competitors.

 

[Miuniumew]

I didn't do Business Studies, but from a Legal Studies experience there are a few issues with your report. Overall, your report looks good though. Firstly though, how many marks is this? I am going to assume this is 20 marks, so here is my feedback:

Your introduction: At the end of your introduction, you need to include a roadmap of your body paragraphs. You should briefly mention underlying issues that would be discussed in your body paragraphs.

First body paragraph: you have not provided evidence of your statements or statistics to back up your conclusion. Therefore your concluding sentences or judgements are invalid. The statement "FPL’s competitor businesses have a lower price of product compared to their own ready-made food products, which may lead to the loss of consumers and market share since people tend to prefer cheaper food but meeting the quality they expect. Therefore, FPL must lower the price of products, especially those that were no longer on trend, in order to satisfy consumers who like the product itself rather than consumers who are influenced by the trend and purchase without concerning about the price of the product. For example, bubble tea packs, which are no longer in high demand as the trend has slowly been replaced by other new products." Before the "Therefore..." you should back up your statement with evidence. If possible, I recommend (if possible) to include legislations that you know of after providing the evidence. Statistics are easier to remember and are more concrete. You can write "About 50% couples divorce or separate according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics as of 2014" (along those lines). Your judgements are good, clearly indicating critical thinking, but they are invalid due to a lack of evidence. Generally, for each judgement you make, you should provide supporting evidence. Try to stick to one or two judgements in a paragraph, and try to limit how much evidence you need. For 20 marks, you should only need about 4 or 3 pieces of evidence to achieve the marks you want.

Hope this helps. I'm not sure though how useful this feedback is, as I only did Legal Studies.

THANK YOU SO MUCHH!!! ADDING THOSE IN NOW

 

[Jaros]

I didn't do Business Studies, but from a Legal Studies experience there are a few issues with your report. Overall, your report looks good though. Firstly though, how many marks is this? I am going to assume this is 20 marks, so here is my feedback:

Your introduction: At the end of your introduction, you need to include a roadmap of your body paragraphs. You should briefly mention underlying issues that would be discussed in your body paragraphs.

First body paragraph: you have not provided evidence of your statements or statistics to back up your conclusion. Therefore your concluding sentences or judgements are invalid. The statement "FPL’s competitor businesses have a lower price of product compared to their own ready-made food products, which may lead to the loss of consumers and market share since people tend to prefer cheaper food but meeting the quality they expect. Therefore, FPL must lower the price of products, especially those that were no longer on trend, in order to satisfy consumers who like the product itself rather than consumers who are influenced by the trend and purchase without concerning about the price of the product. For example, bubble tea packs, which are no longer in high demand as the trend has slowly been replaced by other new products." Before the "Therefore..." you should back up your statement with evidence. If possible, I recommend (if possible) to include legislations that you know of after providing the evidence. Statistics are easier to remember and are more concrete. You can write "About 50% couples divorce or separate according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics as of 2014" (along those lines). Your judgements are good, clearly indicating critical thinking, but they are invalid due to a lack of evidence. Generally, for each judgement you make, you should provide supporting evidence. Try to stick to one or two judgements in a paragraph, and try to limit how much evidence you need. For 20 marks, you should only need about 4 or 3 pieces of evidence to achieve the marks you want.

Hope this helps. I'm not sure though how useful this feedback is, as I only did Legal Studies.

what why would you need stats for a business report?, isn't it more so explaining the theory which is competition, since the other business offers a lower price then it has a cost based competitive advantage, and thus FoodCo must compete based on cost-leadership or whatever the original poster has suggest? im not sure because I have never included stats in my report, If I were talking about legal related stuff I'd put in relevant legislation but I never used stats, unless maybe the stimulus provides me with some?

 

[Miuniumew]

what why would you need stats for a business report?, isn't it more so explaining the theory which is competition, since the other business offers a lower price then it has a cost based competitive advantage, and thus FoodCo must compete based on cost-leadership or whatever the original poster has suggest? im not sure because I have never included stats in my report, If I were talking about legal related stuff I'd put in relevant legislation but I never used stats, unless maybe the stimulus provides me with some?

ya pretty sure i dont need stats for BR, but I think I got the point that they suggest that I should have more evidence in my thing. I think I only need stats in the business extended response where case studies are involved. wow and I just realised how much I yapped about competitive advantage but didn't mention competition at all

 

[Jaros]

ya pretty sure i dont need stats for BR, but I think I got the point that they suggest that I should have more evidence in my thing. I think I only need stats in the business extended response where case studies are involved. wow and I just realised how much I yapped about competitive advantage but didn't mention competition at all

lol yeah business is all about mentioning and using that specific business terminology, I try and spam it wherever possible

 

[Jaros]

ya pretty sure i dont need stats for BR, but I think I got the point that they suggest that I should have more evidence in my thing. I think I only need stats in the business extended response where case studies are involved. wow and I just realised how much I yapped about competitive advantage but didn't mention competition at all

I'd also suggest a lot of the time what u write has sort of an "unacademic tone" i'll point out examples:
"since small numbers can mean thousands of dollars in reality"
"like the product itself rather than consumers " --> who prefer the product due to the utility they derive from it
"FPL make food products for the biggest supermarket chains in Australia." --> FPL operates as a large-scale food manufacturer, supplying food products to Australia’s leading supermarket chains
" product an aura of quality and status" aura is really clunky you could say consumers perceive it to be of higher quality instead of aura
" are more substandard" substandard infers that FPL compromises quality not something U want to mention, rather say like ingredients are cheaper, and less complex

This is just my opinion its just that your wording is quite clunky, and could easily be upgraded (this wouldn't impress the marker THAT much as content of course matters more) its just it reads bad and sometimes compromises precision and business terminology

 

[Miuniumew]

I'd also suggest a lot of the time what u write has sort of an "unacademic tone" i'll point out examples:
"since small numbers can mean thousands of dollars in reality"
"like the product itself rather than consumers " --> who prefer the product due to the utility they derive from it
"FPL make food products for the biggest supermarket chains in Australia." --> FPL operates as a large-scale food manufacturer, supplying food products to Australia’s leading supermarket chains
" product an aura of quality and status" aura is really clunky you could say consumers perceive it to be of higher quality instead of aura
" are more substandard" substandard infers that FPL compromises quality not something U want to mention, rather say like ingredients are cheaper, and less complex

This is just my opinion its just that your wording is quite clunky, and could easily be upgraded (this wouldn't impress the marker THAT much as content of course matters more) its just it reads bad and sometimes compromises precision and business terminology

Ic ya got you, I think it's also cuz English is not my first language and the aura part is part of the definition from the textbook, I was deciding whether I should use that while writing but whatever tysm!! editing my workrn