casual vs relationship (2 Viewers)

[jumb]

uhhhh, no. our society sees this as the norm. there are MANY happy couples who swing and/or have casual sex with other people. i mean, fuck, you don't have to look far on the internet to find it.

Yeah, you're right. But I still think it's a distortion of the definition of a relationship for it to be open.

 

[glycerine]

I just find it weird how so many people claim that they can see a distinction between 'sex' and 'making love' and then go off onto their moral high-horse and try and fudge the borders.

A proper relationship shouldn't be threatened by a fling.
If it is, then maybe it's lacking trust.

I agree to an extent, *if* they're open about it beforehand. Going and having a fling without asking permission I think is different.

 

[my sharona]

Because "open relationships" is an oxymoron. The point of relationships is for monogamy. While they're writing their own definitions and making shit up, they could also tell everyone that they're married and have magic powers.

So what was all that about 'Threesomes aren't as bad because your boyfriend is included'?

 

[glycerine]

Yeah, you're right. But I still think it's a distortion of the definition of a relationship for it to be open.

I can understand that and I can understand how you personally would be uncomfortable with it, but different strokes y'know? From what she's telling us it sounds like they're the type of couple who could fairly comfortably swing/etc and that's ok because it's their relationship

 

[thejosiekiller]

if you're in an open relationship where you've discussed what you can/can't do, and what's considered going too far - and if what you want to do is OK with your boyfriend, then we can't judge any of that - it's your relationship! if you were actually cheating on him, then that's a different story.

well thats true
i guess her definition of what love is different to what someone else thinks it is...

i just think love is a universal emotion and shes trivialising it by saying its ok when shes in love with someone to cheat

cause in our society there is an understanding of being faithful to one another

but if he cheats on her and she cheats on them- whatever i dont get that personally, i would just get out of it because it doesnt sound like there is any real reason ur still together except for routine

u ahve to choose whether ur in love or not and whether there is any guilt involved

 

[comeasyouare]

If your bf knows that you're having a fling, and is fine with it, then I see no problem. But if he doesn't know, you're hiding it from him for a reason, and that would show a lack of trust. If you're going to do something such as this then do it, so far as I see it you're going to do it anyway but you're trying to find others who agree to make you feel better about doing something which you have already admitted blurs the borders of moral reprehensibility. You won't find many here, Rei, and your arguments have so far made little sense.

 

[jumb]

So what was all that about 'Threesomes aren't as bad because your boyfriend is included'?

Because that's a different story.

 

[spin spin sugar]

the last bit of this thread is interesting