Cheating (2 Viewers)

[NDSUTHERLAND]

Hey all,
i was just came across this scenario the other day and was just wondering what the general consensus was.

You've been going out with your partner for over a year. You are really happy with the relationship, and you believe your partner is.

They however have a "friend" who lives over and hour away, and plan for this friend to come to them without your knowledge of it. your partner then cheats on you

Question?
1. What would you do in this situation?
2. how far is too far? as in at what stage would you break up with them.

 

[Skeeta]

I'm not very tolerant on this issue. If someone cheated on me.. it would be over - no doubts about it... whether we got back together after a matter of time i cant tell

it DOES depend how far the cheating was. I would be more likely to get back together with him if he drunkenly kissed a stranger, than if he had sex with his ex-girlfriend for example

 

[xeuyrawp]

Hey all,
i was just came across this scenario the other day and was just wondering what the general consensus was.

You've been going out with your partner for over a year. You are really happy with the relationship, and you believe your partner is.

They however have a "friend" who lives over and hour away, and plan for this friend to come to them without your knowledge of it. your partner then cheats on you

Question?
1. What would you do in this situation?
2. how far is too far? as in at what stage would you break up with them.

That part is the worst part.

Let's assume that I'd go out with someone who didn't trust me enough to tell me about it:

I'd be hurt that they'd planned it for a while and didn't feel the need to tell me or ask me.

If they did that to me, I'd instantly break up with them and probably never see them again. The fact that they cheated does not only mean that they cheated, but that they're weak of character and untrustworthy.

Say if the did not involve them planning it, or it involved a more momentary lapse of character (ie, they got drunk and slept in the same bed with someone and kissed them once), it'd be far more forgivable.

But that's not what happened in this example...

 

[davin]

yeah, too much planning involved to just let it go

 

[Northern Elias]

I agree with Pwar,
Its jst easier if they sed "ITS OVER" rather than use a revenge
tactic to try and hurt you especially if it was planned.

To answer the question though, it really depends on how
you find out, but I'd prolly investigate alil, then cut the sh!t and question my gf about it. I guess if they were drunk and it was an accident its prolly forgiveable.

More so I'd only break up with someone if they had sex intentionally/ unintentionally, the rest to me probably doesnt matter. But I'd sitll be cut knowing that i wasn't good enuff.

 

[ur_inner_child]

Gone. That's it. No question.

None of this stuff about love and what if. There are two things that irk me - the planning without my knowledge and the cheating.

I would not want to deal with crappy fighting if he comes back crawling on his hands and knees or buys my jewellery. It's too shitty. The equality between me and the partner would become too much. I would feel so inferior in the relationship if I forgave, I can't explain why, but I just can't deal with that. It would really shatter a lot of my perceptions about why I love my partner so it would be just over.

 

[gracie007]

Ur partner must be bored or something, and found a good opportunity to escape. I wouldn't take it, I'd let them go. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

But, you should make up your own mind. You know the person extremely well presumably and in the end it's just up to you. Do what you feel is right, no matter what other people say.

 

[sparkl3z]

cheating is a big no no, if he/she does that to you then they don't deserve you. and why cheat? if you don't want to be with him her, why cheat when you can tell her him that you don't want them because of whatever and then go out with whoever you want, without ppl being more hurt then they would be otherwise.

 

[Vahl]

If something occurs as a one off, where then is the issue. Furthermore if someone chooses to have a casual relationship with another again I do not understand the significance to the central relationship. It is overly possessive, in my view, that someone would seek to constrain their partner in such a manner. It would seem that this is less rather than more likely to lead to a successful long term relationship.

 

[TheHarlequinMan]

Once a cheater, always a cheater.

ouch. sweeping generalisation alert.

but no, my tolerance on the issue is slim at best. as has been previously stated, premeditation is the factor on which the breakup hinges

 

[ur_inner_child]

If something occurs as a one off, where then is the issue. Furthermore if someone chooses to have a casual relationship with another again I do not understand the significance to the central relationship. It is overly possessive, in my view, that someone would seek to constrain their partner in such a manner. It would seem that this is less rather than more likely to lead to a successful long term relationship.

good luck to you.

 

[KeypadSDM]

Hey all,
i was just came across this scenario the other day and was just wondering what the general consensus was.

You've been going out with your partner for over a year. You are really happy with the relationship, and you believe your partner is.

They however have a "friend" who lives over and hour away, and plan for this friend to come to them without your knowledge of it. your partner then cheats on you

Question?
1. What would you do in this situation?
2. how far is too far? as in at what stage would you break up with them.

1) I would smack that bitch to next tuesday. No, wait, Sunday.

2) If that bitch gets felt up - too far. I'd probably ditch if I knew they invited someone over with whom they would consider sex or any of the leadups to it, without my knowledge and/or consent, even if they didn't do it.

Sluts.

 

[robo-andie]

There are two things that irk me - the planning without my knowledge and the cheating.

Agreed. It's a nasty thing to do and a clear sign of a persons true character.

I would feel so inferior in the relationship if I forgave, I can't explain why, but I just can't deal with that.

I would feel inferior because I have just given them another opportunity to hurt me. I have made it ok for them to do it. This would put me in a position where I felt I wasn't valueing myself or being valued as much as I deserved.

Make sense?

 

[robo-andie]

1) I would smack that bitch to next tuesday. No, wait, Sunday.

Australia says no.

 

[riot_girl88]

I would feel inferior because I have just given them another opportunity to hurt me. I have made it ok for them to do it. This would put me in a position where I felt I wasn't valueing myself or being valued as much as I deserved.

Make sense?[/quote]

Makes perfect sense! that is exactly the way i would feel about it.

 

[Serius]

lol, but its just pushing, its not like hes one of those guys that beats up on a girl

 

[KeypadSDM]

Australia says no.

To violence against men, Australia says "grow a pair."

 

[Led-Zep]

hey i kno this is off topic, still involves cheating tho, suppose one of you is an actor and they have to do a kissing scene/sex scene..does that count as cheating? i know its a job but isnt the act of kissing someone else cheating..you know they get naked with them, i know there isnt sex involved but still..what do you think..Just a scenario ive been thinkin bout..

 

[katy-g]

Question?
1. What would you do in this situation?
2. how far is too far? as in at what stage would you break up with them.

1. CHUCK THE ABSOLUTE SHITS! One because he didnt inform me and two because he fucking cheated on me.

2. A kiss. Infidelity should not be tolerated in a serious relationship.

 

[Vahl]

good luck to you.

hahahaha it is working so far - I'm not one of the unhappy ones.