specificagent1
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- Aug 24, 2021
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- HSC
- 2021
however much to get ur ranks up to the highest possibleunfortunately a mark of 30%
however much to get ur ranks up to the highest possibleunfortunately a mark of 30%
1st task: 78%Lol its looking like everyone (myself included) fails their first english task. At our school the first term's multimodal weighting > Trial weighting so it's a rocky road from here on out.
Weighting?unfortunately a mark of 30%
That's unfortunate to hear in terms of what happened in your school and it is unfair. In the end by the teachers doing that the overall band 6 success rate for the school in English will go down as people who got a good rank in the internals will underperform in the externals. Not sure if that is the case at most schools though but yeah I get what you are saying in terms of it is a subjective subject and that can often make it hard to improve as well because different teachers want you to do different things for getting a good marki only felt disadvantaged by english bc the internal marking seemed very unfair
it was super dodgy (which tbh i always suspected) but i never really had concrete evidence of this until the recent hsc results when i had somehow managed to get a b6 despite being ranked close to 60th in my cohort and several students in the top 30 did not
i've never had trouble writing essays or understanding english as a subject but its subjectivity continues to be its downfall as teachers fail to adhere to marking criteria and instead, seemingly, do whatever the hell they want, in some cases awarding students in their class better marks simply for being in their class (how the hell else would their class average be a full 2-3 points above the grade average)
if internal english marking was standardised in some way, like the hsc, i truly believe i wouldn't have run into walls of frustration whenever a disappointing mark hit me because at least i would have known what i did wrong and i would have gotten a much higher overall hsc mark instead of barely scraping a b6
were all in this together broskiLol its looking like everyone (myself included) fails their first english task. At our school the first term's multimodal weighting > Trial weighting so it's a rocky road from here on out.
I skimmed through it and like may22 said, your first sentence needs to capture the marker, giving them a window into your writing style and how you will approach this question. Ur thesis doesn't actually answer much, although you have directly answered the question you have not given any insight into what ways and how it's effective.heres the essay that got me 9/20
how do i improve
How effectively does Merchant of Venice tell stories to reveal both the personal and shared nature of human experiences?
William Shakespeare’s tragic play “The Merchant of Venice”, effectively shares tales that reveal both the collective and individual nature of human experiences. This is evident as the play showcases to the audience the inconsistencies and anomalies that are evident within human behaviour. The play explores these common human experiences, through portraying the characters inconsistencies and anomalies in their behaviour, which encourages audiences alike to recognise the complexity of human emotions. Shakespeare effectively demonstrates these human experiences through the thematic idea of prejudice and social injustice, which represents the social attitudes and beliefs that were common in the Elizabethan Era. Additionally, the thematic idea of greed vs selflessness, and gender inequality, highlight the discrepancies that are evident between gender and social classes during the Elizabethan era. Hence, through the depiction of the inconsistencies of human behaviour in “The Merchant of Venice”, Shakespeare effectively reveals both the personal and collective nature of human experiences.
Shakespeare implements the thematic idea of prejudice and social injustice, as it highlights the extent of prejudice towards an individual or group of a certain race or religion. This has been exemplified to allow audiences to gain a perspective, and to resonate with an individual who experiences social prejudice. This social injustice is evident through Shylock being presented as a scapegoat. This is evident in Act 3 Scene 1 where Shylock miserably rants about how the Venetians mistreat him for being Jewish, “If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not take revenge?”. Shakespeare utilises pathos in this quote as an attempt to evoke emotions from the audience, as the speech represents Shylock at his most vulnerable and melancholic state. Shakespeare effectively achieves this through Shylock describing many human characteristics and experiences to show that regardless of his religion, they are all human and indifferent to each other. He does this to go against the societal norm of the Elizabethan Era. During this era, Jews are heavily discriminated against as they are regarded as evil and malicious individuals, which by doing so allows audiences to feel sympathy for Shylock who experiences prejudice just for his religion. This highlights that Shylock's character is an anomaly, through his personal human experience, as he is Jewish which deviates from the norm in a predominantly christian Venice. Through the analysis, Shakespeare effectively presents stories to reveal both the individual and collective nature of human experiences through utilising the thematic idea of Prejudice and Social Injustice. This is effective as it represents the attitudes relevant in the Elizabethan era and shows how these prejudiced beliefs can affect someone's mental wellbeing.
Shakespeare utilises the thematic idea of greed vs selflessness as it showcases the human nature of wanting the best outcome and items for yourself, whilst disregarding the wellbeing of others. This has been achieved to show the audiences the inconsistencies of human behaviour that arise when an individual is desperately seeking the best outcome for themselves. This is evident in Act 1 Scene 4 where Antonio is discussing with Bassanio that he is fortunate to die when Shylock takes a pound of flesh from him, as he prefers to die than to live as a poor man, “For hein Fortune shows herself more kind than is her custom: it is still her use to let the wretched man outlive his wealth to view the hollow eye and wrinkled brow an age of poverty”. Shakespeare uses personification to show how Antonio views his wealth. He does this to show audiences the hypocrisy and irony of Antonio’s character, whom would rather die than live a day as a poor man. This highlights the inconsistencies that are prevalent within Antonio's character, as Venetian Christian men like Antonio are arguably just as greedy and self-centered as the people they despise. This allows audiences to identify the hypocrisy evident within Antonio's character, as it shows the glaring similarities between him and Shylock. As a result, Shakespeare is able to show audiences the actuality of people's greed, regardless of their religion. Through this analysis, Shakespeare effectively presents stories to reveal both the individual and collective nature of human experiences by utilising the thematic idea of greed vs selflessness. This is achieved as it represents the inconsistencies of human behaviour that arise when an individual is faced with a favourable outcome.
Shakespeare makes use of the thematic idea of gender inequality as it reveals the discrepancies between males and females, and how this issue affects individuals collectively within the Elizabethan era. This has been achieved to challenge the societal norms of a predominantly patriarchal society. By doing so, Shakespeare allows audiences alike to gain a perspective of the collective human experience, by highlighting that female characters aren't just servants for men, but instead can be intelligent and independent people, irrespective of the time period. This is evident in Act 2 Scene 1 where Jessica plans to leave Venice to marry Lorenzo and feels ashamed to be Shylock’s daughter due to his actions, “I am his daughter by blood, I am not his daughter by manners”. Shakespeare utilises anaphora to show that Jessica is her own person, and not the daughter of Shylock. This emphasises her determination and empowerment in her own life, which challenges the beliefs of the Elizabethan era. This shows audiences that Jessica is an anomaly through her personal human experience, as she is challenging her father and society's expectations of a woman. Through the analysis, Shakespeare effectively tells stories to reveal both the individual and collective nature of human experiences that emphasise the discrepancies that were common within males and females within the Elizabethan era.
Through representations of human experiences, William Shakespeare’s tragic play “Merchant of Venice”, effectively shares tales that reveal both the personal and shared nature of human experiences. The play achieves this through exploring the common human experiences that are evident in society, through portraying the characters inconsistencies and anomalies in their behaviour, thus encouraging the audiences to recognise the complexity of human experiences. This idea is further emphasised through the utilisation of the thematic ideas, prejudice and social injustice, greed vs selflessness and gender inequality, which represent the social attitudes, beliefs and the discrepancies that are evident between gender and social classes evident in the Elizabethan era.
thankyouI skimmed through it and like may22 said, your first sentence need to capture the marker, giving them a window into your writing style and how you will approach this question. Ur thesis doesn't actually answer much, although you have directly answered the questions you have not given any insight into in what ways and how it's effective.
Also this is just to elevate your response but the constant use of "This..." makes your writing sound repetitive it's also on the passive side, instead opt to use sentences that are have it's own "worth" and doesn't completely rely on the sentence before to make sense.
"Shakespeare makes use of the thematic idea of gender inequality as it reveals the discrepancies between males and females, and how this issue affects individuals collectively within the Elizabethan era. This has been achieved to challenge the societal norms of a predominantly patriarchal society. "
What I would write:
"Shakespeare encapsulates the discrepancies between gender-related power and autonomy, exposing the social paradigms of a patriarchal society during the Elizabethan era."
I didn't study your text so idk what im actually writing lol but this is just an example to help u out.
Hope this helped and gl with ur hsc
all g feel free to pm me if u need any extra help in just essay writing in generalthankyou
Read your introduction, doesn't look like you have actually identified your individual/collective experience. Is it the collective experience of prejudice and social justice and individual greed and selfishness? Honestly, the introduction just looks like the rubric shoved in a blender then stuck together with a couple of themes that don't quite match? Looking at the actual body paragraphs it looks as if you do have a clear link- you have a point you just need to explain it better.heres the essay that got me 9/20
how do i improve
How effectively does Merchant of Venice tell stories to reveal both the personal and shared nature of human experiences?
William Shakespeare’s tragic play “The Merchant of Venice”, effectively shares tales that reveal both the collective and individual nature of human experiences. This is evident as the play showcases to the audience the inconsistencies and anomalies that are evident within human behaviour. The play explores these common human experiences, through portraying the characters inconsistencies and anomalies in their behaviour, which encourages audiences alike to recognise the complexity of human emotions. Shakespeare effectively demonstrates these human experiences through the thematic idea of prejudice and social injustice, which represents the social attitudes and beliefs that were common in the Elizabethan Era. Additionally, the thematic idea of greed vs selflessness, and gender inequality, highlight the discrepancies that are evident between gender and social classes during the Elizabethan era. Hence, through the depiction of the inconsistencies of human behaviour in “The Merchant of Venice”, Shakespeare effectively reveals both the personal and collective nature of human experiences.
Shakespeare implements the thematic idea of prejudice and social injustice, as it highlights the extent of prejudice towards an individual or group of a certain race or religion. This has been exemplified to allow audiences to gain a perspective, and to resonate with an individual who experiences social prejudice. This social injustice is evident through Shylock being presented as a scapegoat. This is evident in Act 3 Scene 1 where Shylock miserably rants about how the Venetians mistreat him for being Jewish, “If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not take revenge?”. Shakespeare utilises pathos in this quote as an attempt to evoke emotions from the audience, as the speech represents Shylock at his most vulnerable and melancholic state. Shakespeare effectively achieves this through Shylock describing many human characteristics and experiences to show that regardless of his religion, they are all human and indifferent to each other. He does this to go against the societal norm of the Elizabethan Era. During this era, Jews are heavily discriminated against as they are regarded as evil and malicious individuals, which by doing so allows audiences to feel sympathy for Shylock who experiences prejudice just for his religion. This highlights that Shylock's character is an anomaly, through his personal human experience, as he is Jewish which deviates from the norm in a predominantly christian Venice. Through the analysis, Shakespeare effectively presents stories to reveal both the individual and collective nature of human experiences through utilising the thematic idea of Prejudice and Social Injustice. This is effective as it represents the attitudes relevant in the Elizabethan era and shows how these prejudiced beliefs can affect someone's mental wellbeing.
Shakespeare utilises the thematic idea of greed vs selflessness as it showcases the human nature of wanting the best outcome and items for yourself, whilst disregarding the wellbeing of others. This has been achieved to show the audiences the inconsistencies of human behaviour that arise when an individual is desperately seeking the best outcome for themselves. This is evident in Act 1 Scene 4 where Antonio is discussing with Bassanio that he is fortunate to die when Shylock takes a pound of flesh from him, as he prefers to die than to live as a poor man, “For hein Fortune shows herself more kind than is her custom: it is still her use to let the wretched man outlive his wealth to view the hollow eye and wrinkled brow an age of poverty”. Shakespeare uses personification to show how Antonio views his wealth. He does this to show audiences the hypocrisy and irony of Antonio’s character, whom would rather die than live a day as a poor man. This highlights the inconsistencies that are prevalent within Antonio's character, as Venetian Christian men like Antonio are arguably just as greedy and self-centered as the people they despise. This allows audiences to identify the hypocrisy evident within Antonio's character, as it shows the glaring similarities between him and Shylock. As a result, Shakespeare is able to show audiences the actuality of people's greed, regardless of their religion. Through this analysis, Shakespeare effectively presents stories to reveal both the individual and collective nature of human experiences by utilising the thematic idea of greed vs selflessness. This is achieved as it represents the inconsistencies of human behaviour that arise when an individual is faced with a favourable outcome.
Shakespeare makes use of the thematic idea of gender inequality as it reveals the discrepancies between males and females, and how this issue affects individuals collectively within the Elizabethan era. This has been achieved to challenge the societal norms of a predominantly patriarchal society. By doing so, Shakespeare allows audiences alike to gain a perspective of the collective human experience, by highlighting that female characters aren't just servants for men, but instead can be intelligent and independent people, irrespective of the time period. This is evident in Act 2 Scene 1 where Jessica plans to leave Venice to marry Lorenzo and feels ashamed to be Shylock’s daughter due to his actions, “I am his daughter by blood, I am not his daughter by manners”. Shakespeare utilises anaphora to show that Jessica is her own person, and not the daughter of Shylock. This emphasises her determination and empowerment in her own life, which challenges the beliefs of the Elizabethan era. This shows audiences that Jessica is an anomaly through her personal human experience, as she is challenging her father and society's expectations of a woman. Through the analysis, Shakespeare effectively tells stories to reveal both the individual and collective nature of human experiences that emphasise the discrepancies that were common within males and females within the Elizabethan era.
Through representations of human experiences, William Shakespeare’s tragic play “Merchant of Venice”, effectively shares tales that reveal both the personal and shared nature of human experiences. The play achieves this through exploring the common human experiences that are evident in society, through portraying the characters inconsistencies and anomalies in their behaviour, thus encouraging the audiences to recognise the complexity of human experiences. This idea is further emphasised through the utilisation of the thematic ideas, prejudice and social injustice, greed vs selflessness and gender inequality, which represent the social attitudes, beliefs and the discrepancies that are evident between gender and social classes evident in the Elizabethan era.
yes absolutelyThat's unfortunate to hear in terms of what happened in your school and it is unfair. In the end by the teachers doing that the overall band 6 success rate for the school in English will go down as people who got a good rank in the internals will underperform in the externals. Not sure if that is the case at most schools though but yeah I get what you are saying in terms of it is a subjective subject and that can often make it hard to improve as well because different teachers want you to do different things for getting a good mark
more the fact that the rest of my subjects were good whereas i got a mid b5 for english.top school stuff be like
mid b5 rank 110 lolmore the fact that the rest of my subjects were good whereas i got a mid b5 for english.
I legit knew jack shit about the module cause I swear my teacher never explained it, but thanks for the feedback.Read your introduction, doesn't look like you have actually identified your individual/collective experience. Is it the collective experience of prejudice and social justice and individual greed and selfishness? Honestly, the introduction just looks like the rubric shoved in a blender then stuck together with a couple of themes that don't quite match? Looking at the actual body paragraphs it looks as if you do have a clear link- you have a point you just need to explain it better.
soooo...something to improve on, make the introduction clearer. Actually, identify the experience. Honestly, that might be the biggest flaw, because from a quick skim (which is how teachers probably mark stuff), it looks like you haven't answered the question which is why probably the easiest way to lose marks without huge errors in the actual writing. So Pro, this is something relatively easy to fix.
yesso does that mean u go to a good school
that large so early???i think 30%
Yep even I had a 30% task (multimodal). Absolutely demotivating when u get a terrible ranking in that.that large so early???
wow i thought 30% would have been reserved to trialsYep even I had a 30% task (multimodal). Absolutely demotivating when u get a terrible ranking in that.
well ur only allowed to have a max of 4 tasks so most tasks are weighted between 20-30%lol ye our tasks/assignments for most subjects r usually all similarly weighted
wow!! that's so goodMy school made predictions for everyone at the start of the year based on Year 11 results. They said I'd get an 89 if my Year 12 performance were consistent with my Year 11 results.
So I got a 98.5 instead
Hi!wow!! that's so good
how did you effectively study for exams, and be organised? I need tips for time management - tutoring, school, homework, test prep, module-making schedule, revision... slowly dying haha