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bored6

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Hello,

Could anybody possibly take a look at my trial response for the Weimar section of the exam and critque what I could do more effectively?

Thanks

EDIT:

Yipes, the question is "Assess the view that the republic was doomed from its conception in 1919"
 
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xoxo

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bored6 said:
Hello,

Could anybody possibly take a look at my trial response for the Weimar section of the exam and critque what I could do more effectively?

Thanks

EDIT:

Yipes, the question is "Assess the view that the republic was doomed from its conception in 1919"
i loved this question :)
what was your mark for it? and what would your aim be (disregarding an obvious 25/25), what do you think your really capable of?
 

bored6

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xoxo said:
i loved this question :)
what was your mark for it? and what would your aim be (disregarding an obvious 25/25), what do you think your really capable of?
I got 24/25 for that response and I was pretty happy with it although I think my teacher marks pretty easy. I'd be exceedingly happy with 24 for that section in the HSC.
 

Wooz

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Hey what school in Penrith do u go to? I go to Penrith High.

You could of broken up the 2nd para a bit, you start off with the construciton and political problems of the Weimar repub, then a paragraph should of being devoted entirely to the Kapp putch, political actions, problems in the Ruhr(Red army), etc.

You didn't go in detail in Hindenburg's role, 'Dolschtosslegende', more on the role of the aristocracy, etc.

The last para before the conclusion needs restructuring. Your conclusion is poor and should of adressed more things not just the role of politicians mainly 'Stresemann' like actions. It is really hard to challenge this question as the general consensus of historians was that it was doomed from the start.

I would have given you 21-22/25, I will give it to my teacher who's a senior marker to mark if you want.

Also what was the other Germany question?

Would anyone be able to post up this paper?
 

bored6

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Wooz said:
Hey what school in Penrith do u go to? I go to Penrith High.

You could of broken up the 2nd para a bit, you start off with the construciton and political problems of the Weimar repub, then a paragraph should of being devoted entirely to the Kapp putch, political actions, problems in the Ruhr(Red army), etc.

You didn't go in detail in Hindenburg's role, 'Dolschtosslegende', more on the role of the aristocracy, etc.

The last para before the conclusion needs restructuring. Your conclusion is poor and should of adressed more things not just the role of politicians mainly 'Stresemann' like actions. It is really hard to challenge this question as the general consensus of historians was that it was doomed from the start.

I would have given you 21-22/25, I will give it to my teacher who's a senior marker to mark if you want.

Also what was the other Germany question?

Would anyone be able to post up this paper?
Wow hey thanks for the critque much appreciated. I know I was going against the grain but it was sort of a on the spur thing. I'll make the changes you reccomended but and if you could show your teacher that would be great :wave:

The other question was really simple - it was something like "Discuss the impact of the Nazi's on German society between 1933-39."


I go to St Doms, I was accepted at Penrith but I stupidly chose to go here :mad1:
 
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i would disagree with the opinion that the gneral consensus of historians is that it was doomed from the start.

that would, more likely, be a certain interpretation. i know that structuralists tend to lean towards the view that you bring out in your essay.

also - i think the other germany question was harder in that there was a lot more to talk about and it's harder to develop a sophisticated analysis.

i think it's quite good.... and 23-24 is what would have been given at my school :) but yeah you do need to develop your conclusion a little....
 

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