Dating Religious Girl (3 Viewers)

[olay]

I never really understood this concept: i think it's something that comes from people and not from the bible. I'll use an analogy someone told me: If you have two cups full of water, and you put one drop of food colouring in one and the rest of the bottle in another, they're both still coloured water.

Is there actually anything stating that someone who lies is less sinful than someone who murders? The punishments are the same for all in the bible: "the punishment for sin is death." It just seems like a very human concept, sort of like the concept of religion: "I have to do things to please God" (this is why i try to make the distinction between faith and religion.

Could you explain where this idea came from to me?

I'm guessing you've gathered this is a Catholic concept - mortal and venial sins with different gravity. Yes! It is written in the Catechism of the Catholic Church; official Church teaching.

Definitions:
1. Charity = Love. 'Charity is the theological virtue by which we love God above all things for his own sake, and our neighbour as ourselves for the love of God' (CCC 1822). You know the famous 'Love is patient, Love is kind' verse from the Bible? 'Charity' is the complete equivalent to 'Love' (according to the Catechism). It is heavily tied into the 'new commandment' where Christians are called to 'love one another as I have loved you'.

2. Mortal Sin: 'Mortal sin destroys charity in the heart of man by a grave violation of God's law; it turns man away from God...by preferring an inferior good to him' (CCC 1855).

3. Venial sin; 'Venial sin allows charity to subsist, even though it offends and wounds it'. (CCC 1855).

For a sin to be mortal, it has to be all of these three things:
1. A sin of grave matter (i.e. in violation of one the 10 commandments)
2. It must be committed with full knowledge that it is a sinful act.
3. It must committed with full consent - i.e. it is a deliberate, voluntary act.

At its core it strongly contradicts loving God or loving 'neighbour' i.e. other ppl.

It actually says in the CCC '...murder is graver than theft. One must also take into account who is wronged: violence against parents is in itself graver than violence against a stranger'.

The gravity of a sin is less when it's unintentional or ignorant 'but noone is deemed to be ignorant of the principles of the moral law, which are written in the conscience of every man' (CCC 1860).

Also, 'the promptings of feeling and passions can also diminish the voluntary and free character of the offense, as can external pressures or pathological disorders' (CCC 1860).

Finally, 'Sin committed through malice, by deliberate choice of evil, is the gravest'.

Anyway, that's mortal and venial sin in a nut shell... check out the Catechism for yourself if you want to understand it better, there's a whole lot more in it! Again may I reinforce that this is a Catholic framework and doesn't necessarily extend to Christian theology as a whole.

And back to the question at hand with dating a 'religious girl'... there seems to be a general sentiment that if someone was a practicing Christian, they wouldn't go out with someone that wasn't Christian. Well... again, at least from a Catholic perspective there isn't anything 'wrong' with it. Perhaps not ideal on a personal level ... but I mean there are many valid, beautiful marriages within the Catholic Church (and I am sure many other churches, Protestant, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu etc...!) where they aren't of the same faith. I don't think it's a valid statement to say that someone isn't following their faith if they're going out with / married to someone who is not of the same faith.

My advice (which seems pretty blatantly obvious) is to be yourself. Let her know where you stand in your beliefs. Let her know your intentions towards her, let her know where you stand with her beliefs. If it's all good then yay for you! If not, then I'd say this girl is not the one for you, at least not at this very moment.

If it makes you feel any better, I am in a relationship that started off with different frameworks - he was and is a very devout Catholic Christian, I was an adamant Agnostic / Atheist. We courted for a year and went out for almost another year before I had a conversion to Catholicism. My conversion had nothing to do with his beliefs. In fact if you took me back to the day before my conversion, I would have projected that if we ever got married, it would be a Catholic / non Catholic wedding...but that's another story. Our relationship worked because we knew where we stood with eachother beliefs and did not convince eachother of anything else. Sure, it deepened the relationship after my conversion because... well, we were really on the same page after it. And we're still together so I'm glad he took a chance and went out with me even though I wasn't Catholic and even though his faith was/is so much a part of him.

Bottom line for the both of you: stay yourselves, stand firm in your beliefs, don't try and convert one another to your beliefs but be open to eachother about what you believe. Good luck!

 

[tilda-lou]

ok so you say your friend wont go dating guys if theyre not religious...more specifically having the same faith....but then she goes on to say that if he wasnt religious at first, but then returns to religion, it would be alright to go out

how would you know that the guy isnt just going to church just for the sake of going out with the best mate of yours....because having faith in something doesnt occur overnight[/quote

yes thats true, and she has been screwed around with many times by guys that do that and she is always trying to get my to go to church but it freaks me out!

everyone calls her a skank coz she flirts around and stuff but wont do anything, but then she tells me the next day that she hasnt had sex yet lets it go as far as liking the feeling of a guy lying nakid on her. so my friend is defying some rules yet she tells me everyday that she is a true pure christian, so through this im saying that its up to the individual girl

 

[williamc]

haha.
reminds me of year 9 science..
we were discussing sperm...

nichole: 'So ms... lets say./.. somehow a guy had sperm on his hand, and then his hand went in a girls vagina... could she get pregnant?
teacher: 'yes..'
nichole: 'so.. you could be like a pregnant virgin! an immaculate conception?'
teacher: *angrily..* 'depends what you classify a VIRGIN as...

and your friend reminds me of my friend, who thinks that despite how much prodding and poking that goes on down there.. she's still a virgin in Gods eyes until it breaks...

[and she doesnt listen to my argument about the hymen being broken inorder to get periods.........]

hhaa..
god love catholics like that (L)!

Would you like me to teach you about the male atonomy? (creppy pick up line)

 

[nichhhole]

Would you like me to teach you about the male atonomy? (creppy pick up line)

sleazy reply:
Does it involve, one on one, hands on experience ?

 

[Forbidden.]

Would you like me to teach you about the male atonomy? (creppy pick up line)

I've heard of the word anatomy, but not the word atonomy.

 

[jumb]

nichole: 'So ms... lets say./.. somehow a guy had sperm on his hand, and then his hand went in a girls vagina... could she get pregnant?
teacher: 'yes..'

That's not right... is it?

 

[ElGronko]

I am a Christian and I think you should definitely tell her the truth. And I know that if someone was pushing me to do things that go against my beliefs I would get out of the relationship straight away.

If you were going out with someone who takes drugs and you asked them to stop because you didn't like it, would you expect them to stop?

They don't have a problem with you not taking drugs, just you don't like that filthy habit.

 

[ElGronko]

I don't hate christians, I just wish they were dead.

 

[marthastuart]

*cough* Me and my friend discussing religion at various times, these are just excerpts but even with the whole conversation, their meaning doesn't change, trust me. This is a consistent view by all the Christian girls at my school...

Me: They'll probably send him to a catholic school.
Her: Eww, Catholics fill their heads with funny stuff.
----
Me: My family are anglican.
Her: *funny, almost offended look*
---
Me: I'm a theist (Yes, theist, not an atheist typo.)
Her: ... well I was thinking *talk about school work, avoid it all together*

Bar that religion stuff, we're good friends, and this girl here listens to pop (shudder) and what not, so if the girl you're talking about is a super Christian then you stand no chance unless you can somehow follow the exact same branch of Christianity as her and to the same degree and believe it as dogmatically as she does, then you may as well try to grow wings.

 

[williamc]

sleazy reply:
Does it involve, one on one, hands on experience ?

You bet ya.

 

[williamc]

I've heard of the word anatomy, but not the word atonomy.

I am a model worker and pupil. Notice how I endevour to spell and grammaticate my words correctly online .

soz about dat ey bro.

 

[jumb]

our year 9 science class still debates it.
it was the top science class, so 3/4 of the class have remained asexual...[also choosing to believe that one can get a boys genital herpies by holding his hand...] [as he'd have them on his hand from 'autonomously exploring his anatomy..']

the other 1/4...
well...no pregnancies to date...

Ah year 9ers. Is there anyone else in the world who thinks they know more about sex?

 

[marthastuart]

I take back what I said. F*** 'em. They don't deserve to pro-create. As far as I'm concerned if you're a religious, stay at least twenty feet away if you plan to have children one day. I just had a two year friendship ruined because a 'religious girl' got offended because I made a passing comment about Catholics being Christians, and she disagreed.

 

[ellen.louise]

everyone calls her a skank coz she flirts around and stuff but wont do anything, but then she tells me the next day that she hasnt had sex yet lets it go as far as liking the feeling of a guy lying nakid on her. so my friend is defying some rules yet she tells me everyday that she is a true pure christian, so through this im saying that its up to the individual girl

<3 the crappy standards...

To get to the point of having a guy lying naked on top of her is 'sexual immorality' according to her faith. Whatever way you look at it, she's in denial. D - E - N - I - A - L.

and thanks olay I had gathered it was a Catholic concept, yes. Wow it works strangely!!! well, at least I sort of get it now, even if it doesn't apply to other denominations. (So, maybe it does a little, cause everyone has a tendency to think like this anyway: "my sin is not as bad as his sin.")

anyway... have to go to school soon...

 

[cooldivya]

Religiously!

 

[Cykologi_gal]

You don't, you just respect her decision(s) - no kissing boys before marriage.

...I guess you just wait.

 

[Testpilot]

You don't, you just respect her decision(s) - no kissing boys before marriage.

No offense to who she is quoting but that is just fucked.

 

[Cykologi_gal]

That's warped. I'm not even famous and people are already distorting what I say. Imagine what the media'd be like!

I know that he hadn't done anything before me. I know. As for anything during/after his time with me, things would fall apart long before he goes off with another girl.

The decision to delay it is my own. I don't want to be a guinea pig. I'd rather take care of myself i.e. stay mutually monogamous, for the next 10 years than getting it injected and wondering what will happen in the decade. The media's weird - when something new comes out, they're all screaming for it and when something's wrong down the track, they stay silent or give a rather quiet, helpless apology. No one can tell you the effects, except time.

 

[ElGronko]

"I like to picture Jesus like a mischievous badger-- Like a muscular trapeze artist-- Like a shapeshifter or a changeling, like that guy, you ever hear of that tv show Manimal? I like to think of Jesus as a figure skater who wears, like, a white outfit and he does interpretive ice dances of my life's journey. Like a dirty old bum. And he comes up to me, I'm about to sock him one because he's a dirty old bum. Than I said, 'Wait a minute, I better not sock this guy. Something's special about him'"

 

[demdom]

YO OP....Why do you want to go out with her?

She is different from the rest of the girls i have seen be4 and has shown alot more interest in me than the rest.By the rest i mean born again x-tians since alot of them come to my room which we share with male born again but the few times she has been her interest in me is more compared to those girls who are always around for bible study and lastly she is cute.