youBROKEmyLIFE said:
I'm aware there are differences, however I feel none of the differences justify a change in decision.
What's the difference between if we're telling them they need to change the appearance they were born with or the appearance they have been given due to an accident? For the most part obviously young children can't make such decisions and as such it's up to their parents to decide, I'd say usually they'll decide on the basis of how they will feel when they're older / whether it will assist them to live a more normal life / the general happiness, wellbeing of their child.
Ok, fair enough, you do need to take the future into account. The difference I see is that, well, personally (and I know not everyone will agree with this, it's a contentious thing) - if you are born with a condition but don't have any actual physical
impairments, as in, something that affects your ability to breathe for example, then cosmetic surgery is both unnecessary and somehow insulting. I mean, you can't help this, you were born this way, this is who you are, and yet everyone around you is pushing for you to have your appearance surgically altered? Something about that is just wrong. I think it says more about society than it does about the needs or wants of disabled kids. On the other hand, if your are disfigured in an accident, more often than not you'll need corrective surgery for medical reasons, and also, you have
changed physically, so it's okay to want to go back to how you looked before. DS children look the way they do from birth, there's something insulting about insinuating that they'd necessarily want to look different.
Not such a big thing? According to who? As far as I can tell beauty is one of the most important things in the world to most people, as much as they'd like to deny it. I mean why bother dressing them nicely? Why bother brushing their hair?
I wasn't denying that beauty is an important thing to most people. I just meant that there are people with deformities that are so much worse and in comparison DS is not such a big thing. I'm not trying to downplay it, just pointing out that people should be looking at the bigger picture before they make a decision like putting their child under the knife (which I don't think they should have the right to do but then, that's me).
Ok, but her parent does. We don't even know exactly what surgery she's getting (as far as i remember) so why make such hasty conclusions? It could be something simpler which has less of an effect but still in the parents mind contributes to make the child look more 'normal' which will lead to somewhat greater social acceptance.
You are right. But the key words here are "in the parents mind". Not the child's, the parents. I understand the logic behind it. I just think it's a bit sick to go that far for a tiny bit more social acceptance. For the record, I've never seen a DS person be openly teased or ostracised outside of a schoolyard setting and to be honest, kids will tease you about anything they can get their hands on, surgery isn't going to do a whole lot to help that if the kid is already being teased.
So you think there's some sort of a thresh-hold for when someone looks weird enough to deserve surgery?
Well...yes. I do. There are some things that are not worth the stress of surgery.
IMO no matter how small their abnormality is (let's not get too ridiculous though) if their parents think it will make them happier overall to live without it (including into their factoring whatever pain the child could feel) then they're doing a just thing. If a child is born with a 3rd nipple for example, I think it makes sense for the parents to get rid of it...
Well this is where we'll probably always disagree. IMO people get way too hung up on things that are really not that noticeable. Third nipple? Who cares? When the kid is older, if it bugs them they can get it removed at their own discretion.