Essay Structure (1 Viewer)

[alexialight]

I'm in desperate need of help for the AOS part 3 essay. Here's a practice question i'm trying to do: "Journeys always transform us in some way". Now, i'd usually approach this by structuring my essay text by text, which i've since learnt is a huge no-no. But now i have no idea what i'm doing. I guess i have to structure it by devoting 1 paragraph to each point i want to make, right?

Does anyone have any suggestions? How would you approach such a question? So far i'm thinking of having a paragraph each on:
- ability of imaginative journey to change our attitudes/perspectives
- insights gained from imaginative journeys

is this ok, is there anything else i could/should add? i started doing it this way, but my paragraphs are getting way too long - should i only include, say, 2 texts in each paragraph or something?

Any help would be much appreciated, thanks.

EDIT: I've just read through a bunch of band 5/6 answers for AOS from the standards package and they all seem to structure their response text by text. So i guess it is still possible to get a band 6 by structuring it text by text then? geez i'm confused.

 

[skiguy_hsv]

I'm sure it's still possibly to get band 6 structuring text by text. That's how I'm structuring mine and I don't think there's any problem with doing it like that (mainly cos it got me a 19/20). So yeh, text by text should be fine so long as you link them all....

Mat

 

[kow_dude]

structure it text by text, otherwise your ideas for each text would not be organised... plus, it's much safer to write it that way in (especially under exam conditions)

 

[superbird]

I usually structure mine like this:

1. Introduction (where you state your thesis)

2. Core Text. In my case it would be Peter Skrynecki's Immigrant Chronicles. Here I would talk about 3 different poems and how they relate to journeys.

3. Stimulus Booklet Text. I chose "Journey to the Interior". I will be talking about how this text relates to my core text and the concept of journeys.

4. Supplementary Material. I'll be talking only about 1 text for this. I know they suggest 2 but I think I have compensated for this by talking about 3 poems of my core text rather than 2. Anyways for this I'll talk about how this relates to by core text, stimulus booklet text and the concept of journeys.

5. Conclusion to wrap it all up. You should reinforce your thesis here.

 

[MouNtY]

yeah it's very possible to get band 6's by responding text by text...but a more sophisticated way to do it would be by integration....but this should only be done if it's done really well....i write like this and it's gotten me good marks...but lately i've been finding it really hard to write this way..so i'm thinkin abt going back to responding text by text....

i also have a question though......would it be unorthodox to respond with both integration and then also responding with the texts seperatley? eg. list similarities in techniques and then to list techniques that are unique to the texts?

 

[Sarah168]

I wouldnt say "very possible". A large majority of band 6 essays are not only integrated but integrated WELL.

 

[kow_dude]

"Integrated" as in the paragraphs "hang together" and not just individual points?

 

[anti]

Integration is possible on a text-by-text basis. Just because a single paragraph may focus on a single text does not mean you cannot make references to other texts you are studying.

On the other hand, a paragraph may focus on an argument.

 

[lukebennett]

who the hell told you that!

All the teachers at my school have told me to do it text by text. finding common points is not easy and will make for a less detailed essay-too many crucial points for each text will be abandoned.

i think the trap you can fall into with text by text is that you lose the flow of the essay.

I have been told that a comparison or link between the texts has to be made- they dont want you to regurgitate your work which is easy because these essays are very similar and can be easily reproduced as weve done so many of them over the year.

you must work the essay around the question.

I think who ever told you this just doesnt want a thoughtless response which doesnt explicitly answer the question, but all the teachers that mark at the HSC have said that the best responses are done text by text with links between texts and if using poems dont do both together- mix them around.

not to say that some arent done the way you have been told.

i suppose you could do a paragraph
- exploring the different types of eg physical journeys being embarked on (compare texts)
- notions about journeys (compare texts)
- the obstacles confronted (compare texts)
- the impact on the subject (compare texts)

I still think that it would be very hard to be detailed using this kind of structure

 

[Sarah168]

Well duhh it's hard. That's why the few people who do it and do it well get the best marks

 

[lukebennett]

i also have a question though......would it be unorthodox to respond with both integration and then also responding with the texts seperatley? eg. list similarities in techniques and then to list techniques that are unique to the texts?

I think you can integrate bits and pieces (but not quite to the extent you are proposing) when doing text by text. you can not be sure if that structure will work for the question. text by text is more adaptable

eg The article "Freedom Sweet For a Fortunate Father"- like Peter skrzynecki- explores the notion of the "forced journey". However this text delves more deeply into the views of the society an immigrant will soon face. *then you can argue how it delves more deeply, while discussing the text in detail*

 

[lukebennett]

I usually structure mine like this:

1. Introduction (where you state your thesis)

2. Core Text. In my case it would be Peter Skrynecki's Immigrant Chronicles. Here I would talk about 3 different poems and how they relate to journeys.

3. Stimulus Booklet Text. I chose "Journey to the Interior". I will be talking about how this text relates to my core text and the concept of journeys.

4. Supplementary Material. I'll be talking only about 1 text for this. I know they suggest 2 but I think I have compensated for this by talking about 3 poems of my core text rather than 2. Anyways for this I'll talk about how this relates to by core text, stimulus booklet text and the concept of journeys.

5. Conclusion to wrap it all up. You should reinforce your thesis here.

Hey superbird,
i thought it important to say that teachers at my school are saying that if you do Skrzynecki you need to do two poems in the essay. This is because some students study novels which are much more demanding. I was pissed off when i was told that and lost a mark in the trials. Its a bit harsh because i already wrote almost 6 pages with just on poem and the three other texts.
I know you do three but my point is that they dont want you to have a lop sided response and you need to have two of your own choice not one. they will mark you down if you dont do what they say, even if your poems are strong. the want you to have proof that you have found two texts yourself
I just think that to be safe you might want to drop one of you poems
good luck

 

[rsingh]

Do we have to link/compare our texts?

My teacher always says you DON'T DO THIS! So I'm confused!
I just started Yr 12 today.
If this needs to be done, please tell me HOW. I have no clue how to link/compare my texts???

Thanks.

 

[lukebennett]

you need to compare them a bit. you dont need to a whole lot. about a sentence or two per text.

you just need to compare common points they make but point out how they are slightly different. it shows that you are thoughtful. at my school you must do this to get 14+/15. these teachers are ones who have marked the HSC before


eg The newspaper article "Freedom Sweet For a Fortunate Father"- like Peter skrzynecki- explores the notion of the "forced journey". However this text delves more deeply into the views of the society an immigrant will soon face.

*then you can argue how it delves more deeply, while discussing the text in detail* *you can do this just at the beginning of a discussion about one of you texts before you explain in detail what the text is about. it also lets the essay flow*

 

[max]

*hence* the magical linking words including:

-hence
-likewise
-however
-Also
-Justifiably
-Notwithstanding

 

[MouNtY]

the reason that i'd proposed integration was because i'm a really slow writer and it'd be better for me to have mentioned all texts at least once then to have run out of time and only have talked abt two of them....and i must admit i'd never actually thought about writing the essay structurally based on ideas and concepts of journeys.....but i guess i'll just have to try it and see wat happens

 

[silvermoon]

a better answer synthesises the texts based on the journey conceits within them. If you fully integrate your texts - and do it well - there should be no missing out of crucial points, clear development of thesis, explanation of techniques and comparison/contrast of composer's views on journey as expressed through their text.
Whoever said that if you integrate you will miss out on points etc - maybe you just don't properly understand what integrating and synthesising texts involves. It is the highest and hardest skill, and thus earns the top marks (if you do it well of course!) However, you also get marks for attempting to integrate and synthesise, even if you did not do it well.
text-by-text is fine, and you can get good marks for it. however, it is generally consdered that a student who does text-by-text without integration between texts isn't as capable a student as one who answers by the concepts of journey and synthesises various texts together.

 

[silvermoon]

I usually structure mine like this:

1. Introduction (where you state your thesis)

2. Core Text. In my case it would be Peter Skrynecki's Immigrant Chronicles. Here I would talk about 3 different poems and how they relate to journeys.

3. Stimulus Booklet Text. I chose "Journey to the Interior". I will be talking about how this text relates to my core text and the concept of journeys.

4. Supplementary Material. I'll be talking only about 1 text for this. I know they suggest 2 but I think I have compensated for this by talking about 3 poems of my core text rather than 2. Anyways for this I'll talk about how this relates to by core text, stimulus booklet text and the concept of journeys.

5. Conclusion to wrap it all up. You should reinforce your thesis here.

oh my god, DON'T DO THIS!!!!
superbird, you cannot just change the criteria to suit yourself and assume that the marker won't mark you down for it. actually, a correction, they won't mark you down, in effect, you'll be marking yourself down. if they ask for "related texts" you must talk about more than one text or you cannot achieve good marks as you havent fulfilled the requirements of the question. there is no "compensation" for it by talking about more texts in a different area. it will just look like you couldnt balance your texts, had poor time management, or didnt read the question at all. none of these reflect very well on you or your work.

 

[~*HSC 4 life*~]

no you need atleast two

 

[lukebennett]

The markers at school cap the marks at 9/15 if you dont use the texts they want
eg. two poems (or one in excellent detail), two of your own, one stimulus booklet.
if you leave one out you will be marked down. many in our year had to learn this lesson in the half yearly.